Since before the decorations were off the tree and all the Hanukkah candles were lit, I’ve been asking people about New Year’s resolutions. Not necessarily what those resolutions are, but how they feel about making them.
Some folks don’t bother making them because they feel it’s an exercise in failure. That was the view of several folks I talked to, but one friend is willing to commit to a resolution with a bit of adjustment to the plan. “I used to make them rather hastily and would then be frustrated in February when I hadn’t made any progress.” This year she and a friend have pledged to “declutter a bit” and provide mutual support along the way.
Other people talked about downsizing a bit and creating intentions instead of resolutions. “It’s more about how I want to approach things and make choices.”
Another friend said she has difficulty sticking with her goal all year, but she’s decided on a mini-resolution. “I do try annually, but will shorten the length of time by doing it through Lent.
To understand New Year’s Resolutions, it helps to know who to blame for their initial creation. According to history.com, the Babylonians started the tradition about 4,000 years ago during spring planting. “They made promises to the gods to pay their debts and return any objects they had borrowed.” If they kept their word the gods were appeased, but if not, they ran the risk of their wrath.
Another resolution creator was Julius Caesar, who declared January 1 the beginning of the new year in 46 B.C. “Believing that Janus symbolically looked backward into the previous year and ahead into the future, the Romans offered sacrifices to the deity and made promises of good conduct for the coming year.”
Over 4,000 years worth of New Year’s resolutions have evolved from pledges to pagan gods to personal improvement goals regarding weight loss, exercise, and mental health, among other things. Do they work? According to a blog by Lark Allen of Drive Research, three out of 10 people made New Year’s resolutions in 2024, 69 percent felt pressured to do so, and 79 percent of resolutions involved improving health. The blog goes on to say only nine percent of people keep their resolutions the entire year, while 43 percent quit by the end of January.
On the other hand, we could look at resolutions from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy perspective and reframe the thought, “Resolutions are bad, useless and set us up for failure,” to “Resolutions provide the motivation to help us set positive goals and habits.” One of the more interesting articles I came across in my web search about New Year’s resolutions was by Meg Selig, who wrote about alternatives to resolutions:
- A nudge word or motto instead of a goal – “You can select any word [or motto] that reverberates with your values and goals and helps you turn your attitude in a more helpful direction.” Examples: Progress not perfection, something is better than nothing.
- Create a “To Don’t” list – It’s about limits and boundaries. You don’t have to accept every invitation or request that comes your way. You don’t have to say yes to everything.
- Make a resolution for January – Set a beginning and end point. If you want company, seek out one of the online challenges offered in January.
- Start small – Instead of vowing to run the Marine Corps Marathon, maybe start with working toward a 3K Fun Run/Walk.
Some of us make the same resolutions every year and hope for the best. That’s me. Someday the weight will come off. Maybe this year! Provided nobody brings baked goods to the office in 2025. You know who you are.
About Elizabeth Perry:
A Resident in Counseling at Healthy Minds Therapy, Elizabeth is working toward her LPC license at the Alexandria, VA location. She offers in-person and telehealth sessions, using CBT, solution-focused, and mindfulness and motivational interviewing techniques. Elizabeth has a background in working with adults, teens and their families participating in PHP (Partial Hospitalization) and IOP (Intensive Outpatient) programs specializing in mood and anxiety disorders. She also has experience counseling individuals and couples in the LGBTQ community.