The holidays are right around the corner. For some people, spending time with loved ones is an exciting and cheerful time. For others, it can be stressful and emotionally exhausting to deal with manipulative and difficult family members. It’s easier said than done to cut toxic people out of our lives completely, especially when these [...]
Author: Shelton Poulter
Taking the Pressure Out of Intimacy
We often hear "healthy communication is key". But what happens when healthy communication still adds pressure? Being sexually intimate with our partners can seem easy in the beginning stages, sometimes referred to as the "honeymoon phase" but eventually the passion can die down, and maintaining a healthy sex life begins to require more communication and [...]
How to Help a Loved one with Depression
Many people have either experienced depression themselves or at least know of one or more people who have suffered from depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 17.3 million American adults in the U.S suffer from depression. Symptoms of Depression: You or a loved one may be suffering from depression if you [...]
The Dangers of All or Nothing Thinking
All or nothing thinking, also known as black and white thinking, is a cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that result in feelings such as anxiety or depression. All or nothing thinking is when we look at things in extremes, see a situation as being either this way or that way, [...]
Helping Kids with Deep Breathing
Children regularly have big emotions, and it can be more difficult for them to calm down than it is for adults. Sometimes even when we tell kids to take a deep breath they start hyperventilating, coughing, or choking. They may need a little extra help. First we want to educate children on why deep breathing [...]
The Holidays and Being Body Positive
The Holidays can be a magical time of year. For many people the holidays are a time for giving, making memories, spending quality time with loved ones, and… eating good food! Unfortunately, many of us can fall into engagement with negative self-talk resulting in feelings of shame and guilt during this time of year when [...]
Self-Soothing vs. Self-Care
The term self-care has become extremely well known over the past few years. We talk about it at work, school, with our kids and with our families. But what actually is self-care? Believe it or not, self-care is not putting on your face mask at the end of the night or listening to relaxing music [...]
Tips for New Moms with Anxiety and OCD
Have you recently had a baby and are struggling with new mom anxiety? You are not alone. 85% of new moms develop some form of sadness and anxiety during the postpartum period. A common anxiety-related mental-health condition that can develop is hypochondria and OCD. Hypochondria is atypical levels of anxiety regarding one’s health or the [...]
Exercise and Mental Health
When I was a teenager I thoroughly enjoyed sports, such a volleyball and horseback riding. I left high school and when I went to college I no longer participated in these fun sports. This was when I began to notice my mental health was suffering. College was hard work, stressful, and time-consuming. I tried to [...]
Misconceptions About Therapy
It is not uncommon to have some people’s first appointments with me go a little like this: “I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t think I really need therapy but my (mom, dad, sibling, friend) suggested it so I figured, why not?” When I ask them why they think they do not need [...]
Tips for Social Anxiety
Living in a digital world definitely has its pros and cons. Studies show people prefer texting to calling these days and people are leaning more towards online dating than going out to meet people. Many of us have been working from our homes and now are having to return to the office. Social anxiety has [...]
Can’t Stop Ruminating? Let’s Talk About WHAT You Can Do
I have quite a few clients come to me who have trouble with rumination. Something negative happened in the past, maybe it was yesterday or maybe it was a few years ago. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we cannot stop thinking about certain things. Common questions we ask ourselves when ruminating are “Why [...]
The Importance of Hobbies on our Mental Health
We all know that life can be hectic, especially recently due to the pandemic. We may be working all day, coming home to care for children, running errands, and getting work done around the house. When we do finally get some downtime, many of us resort to laying on the couch and scrolling through our [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 2
In the second part of this post, we are going to review the target symptoms of low motivation and then address what actions you can take in order to combat them. It may be difficult at first to get the hang of these methods, however with practice and consistency you will be up and going [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 1
I see many clients who battle with a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation can range from struggling to keep up with daily chores, to feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning. If you are feeling unmotivated to engage in activities you used to enjoy, this can be concerning to some people. Feeling [...]
What is Unconditional Love, Really?
Years ago, I bought my best friend a very expensive gift, despite things being tight financially for me. I did this because I adored this friend. She truly wanted this gift. It meant a lot to her and I wanted more than anything to make her happy. I wanted her to know how important she [...]
Managing the Post Holiday Blues
We’ve all been there…the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over and the post-holiday blues can tend to set in. All the gifts have been opened, friends and family have left town and we must settle back into our daily routines. The cold and dark months of January and February can cause us to [...]
Efficient Problem Solving
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Patients frequently come to me for advice when they encounter a problem and do not know what to do, where to go next or how to address the problem. We are usually able to work together to dissect the issue and make a plan [...]
Remembering why we love each other
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Frequently I have clients come in stating that “nothing is particularly wrong” in their relationship or in their marriage, but lately the spark is not there any longer, arguments occur more often and easily and the arguments seem trivial. Both individuals just seem more [...]
Taking the Time to Talk with Your Anxious Child
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Are you noticing that your young child has recently become more afraid of things, developed phobias they did not have before or is running to you with every small issue they come across? Maybe your child has suddenly become terrified of thunder or catastrophizes [...]
Strategies for Good Communication
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Why do you need good communication? To put it simply, good communication can make or break any kind of relationship. Whether it's in business, with a friend, a family member or a significant other. Communication is vital for conveying feelings, giving instructions, and building [...]
Challenging Your Negative Thoughts
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA During this uncertain time we all may be more prone to depression, anxiety and poor self-esteem. Irrational negative thoughts could be the culprit! Since many of us are stuck at home, social media use has been on the rise. We may accomplish one thing, feel good [...]
