We are all acquainted with anxiety to one degree or another. Our minds become preoccupied with thoughts such as: “What if I’m missing something?” or “What if I look like a fool in front of these new people?” When questions like these swirl around in our minds unchecked, we can be kept in an anxious state for hours, detached from the present moment.
Anxiety steals us from the present moment. Anxious thought patterns keep us locked in a cycle of fretting about something we cannot change, either because it is set in the past or because it is too far ahead in the future to act on. Anxiety’s message is that if we can just plan well enough, then we will avoid an undesirable future event. However, in focusing our attention on this future planning, anxiety prevents us from focusing on the only moment we can affect any change in—the present.
Now, I am not advocating that we throw planning to the wind and live every aspect of our lives moment-to-moment. Of course, planning ahead is quite useful in managing our stress levels—for example, when we meal prep or leave extra time for traffic. What I am advocating for, however, is strengthening our ability to recognize and cope with unproductive, anxious thought patterns.
How can you break the pattern?
In beginning your efforts to break out of anxiety spirals, it may be helpful to visualize anxiety as a “thief.” Anxiety disguises itself as helpful thought patterns while allowing time to slip away, and prevents us from engaging in truly constructive thinking. Below is a rough template you can use when feeling anxious to determine your course of action. I encourage you to tweak it and make it your own:
- “What, specifically, am I feeling anxious about?”
- “Is this thing that I am anxious about something that I can change today/this week?”
- If the answer is “yes,” then you may proceed to problem-solve.
- If the answer is “no,” then try to practice acceptance. Maybe it is so far in the future that you must accept that you cannot change it “right now,” and therefore it is shelved away until a more appropriate time. Or maybe the situation is entirely out of your hands, in which case, thinking about it will not bring you peace.
By practicing this exercise, you will train your mind to stay more in the present moment, to focus on the things that are in your power to change.
About Ann-Marie Wingerter:
Ann-Marie is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Healthy Minds Therapy. She earned her Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Franciscan University of Steubenville. With a concentration in Crisis Intervention and Trauma Counseling. Ann-Marie takes an integrative and client-centered approach to therapy, drawing from cognitive behavioral (CBT) and dialectical behavioral (DBT) techniques to support her clients. She enjoys working with individuals navigating life transitions, anxiety, depression, interpersonal challenges, behavioral concerns, trauma, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Learn more about Ann-Marie HERE!