Intentional Goal Setting and Honoring Your Inner Child Hello there. If we aren’t acquainted, I’m Maggie. Just your garden variety, anxiety-having, ADD-brained impostor syndrome toting LPC. Nice to meet you. I’ve noticed a trend in folks I encounter, including myself, with the change of the season. People are feeling a little uncertain about a direction [...]
Category: Counseling
The Process of Healing – What to Let Go of, What Do I keep?
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer ~ Albert Camus Healing is a complex process that involves physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. The process of healing may differ depending on the individual and the specific condition or ailment being treated, but there are some general principles that can [...]
Helping Clients Heal After Heartbreak
As a clinician supporting clients in the aftermath of a relationship’s ending, it is oftentimes a delicate and multi-faceted process. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that each client copes with the grief and sadness in a way that is unique to them. Being able to properly assess their unique [...]
Do you have an anxious or stressed child? Try these fun activities.
Fun activities to do with children that may be stressed, anxious, hyperactive, suffering from grief or loss, or just plain bored. Children often learn better to express themselves with hands-on activities. All of these activities can be tailored to the individual child. Stress Ball and Fortune Teller Activities One thing that is helpful for [...]
On Being Self-Compassionate
“If my friend was struggling with the same thing I am, would I speak to them the way I just spoke to myself?” This is a question that I encourage clients to ask themselves when I hear them being overly self-critical. It serves as an introduction to the importance of exercising self-compassion when improving our [...]
Thinking Better and Avoiding Mind Traps
An important first step in changing how we think and developing the ability to recognize our distorted thinking is by developing an awareness of common “Mind Traps”. Mind traps are often a byproduct of our inner self-talk, but it is important to note that without some sort of “fact-checking” our inner self-talk is not always [...]
Diet & Exercise: Why It’s Easier Said Than Done
There's no doubt our diet affects mental health. Ugh, the same dance it seems: two steps forward, one step back. Try this, don’t eat that! So many frustrations when it comes to diet and exercise often lead to feelings of shame and overwhelm. I have a unique perspective on diet and exercise as a trauma [...]
The Art of Mindful Vacationing
If you're anything like me, you dread the post-vacation slump which often shows up bright and early the Monday morning following vacations. It's no secret vacations can be stressful and often times we set the bar extremely high. We try to cram in a plethora of experiences in a very short space of time. It shouldn't come [...]
About Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a therapeutic technique that allows your brain to reprocess a negative event, memory, or situation that has occurred in your life and gives you the ability to think about the event in a more adaptive way. Sometimes when an event like that occurs, the brain gets stuck [...]
Sometimes It’s Not Just One Thing That Can Help Us Maintain our Healing
Over the past few years, it has been both a personal and professional observation that the people who have been successful on their mental health wellness path utilize many different coping strategies and coping skills. Often, I think we all sometimes, in one form or another, look for the “quick fix” or the one thing [...]
Five Morning Routines to Start Your Day Off Right
This month for Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share five morning routines that can help start your day off right. Taking time for self-care is so important - even the smallest change in routine devoted to self-care can make a big difference in your day. Here are Five Helpful Morning Routines: 1. Meditation: [...]
How to Help a Loved one with Depression
Many people have either experienced depression themselves or at least know of one or more people who have suffered from depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 17.3 million American adults in the U.S suffer from depression. Symptoms of Depression: You or a loved one may be suffering from depression if you [...]
No Show or Show Up?
Your First Counseling Session: Trying something new for the first time can cause quite a bit of anxiety. I felt pretty anxious before I went to my first barre class (you know, that trendy exercise fad right now combining Pilates, yoga and ballet?). I imagine this is what it feels like to start therapy for [...]
What is Social Work Anyway?
When I decided to go back to school later in life to pursue social work, I soon realized how many misconceptions there are around what social workers do. Many people assumed social workers’ only role was doing child protective work, which is no surprise since that is often how social workers are portrayed in the [...]
Scavenger hunt, anyone?
So, who doesn't like a good scavenger hunt? Not only are they fun, but scavenger hunts also help children work on essential skills like problem-solving. It also helps to reinforce act-out methods they have been taught by parents or teachers in a physical way, leading to increased retention. They are also easy to customize to [...]
What Can YOU Do To Take Care Of Your Mental Health?
It is crucial that you take care of your mental wellness now more than ever before. Mental wellness or good mental health is thinking, feeling, and interacting in ways that help you enjoy life and effectively deal with challenging situations. Without mental wellness, people are unable to fulfill their full potential or play an active [...]
Trusting the Therapy Process
Therapy is an involved process. The first step being, entering into a therapeutic relationship where you feel seen and heard, as well as open to looking at yourself and life in a deeper way. Some personal challenges are going to take longer to sift through. Some issues, after being addressed, may yield quicker positive results and feelings. I [...]
Thoughts on Nedra Tawaab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace
You need it. The first time I heard about this book was on Good Morning America. I go through phases where I like to have the morning news on in the background as I drink my coffee and begin working through yesterday’s documentation. This day, Nedra appeared for a few short minutes to speak on [...]
A Message to Men in Need
“To progress again, man must remake himself. And he cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. In order to uncover his true visage, he must shatter his own substance with heavy blows of his hammer.” ~Alexis Carrel, Man, The Unknown Look the reality is; though most of us [...]
Cognitive Distortions: 10 Examples of Distorted Thinking
A cognitive distortion can be defined as faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception, or belief. Negativity is often the defining characteristic. For some of us, distorted thinking is a momentary blip. We get upset when we fail a test. We briefly reason that we’re bad at whatever the test was on instead of realizing we need [...]
Using Your Anxiety as A Trigger for Taking Action
What is to give light must endure burning. Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. ~ Viktor Frankl; Man’s Search for Meaning For many people today, anxiety is typically [...]
5 Questions To Ask Your Therapist
Going to therapy can be very beneficial. It is a place where you can learn more about yourself; understand the symptoms of mental health you are experiencing; receive advice and support to help achieve your goals, and work on forming more meaningful relationships. It is a place for someone who needs someone to listen or [...]
Spoiler Alert: Comparative Suffering Helps No One
Comparison is the key part of comparative suffering. We try to rank suffering and privilege. Who has more? Who has it better or worse than me? What are they doing that I am not? In an attempt to create a hierarchy of feeling, we are actually impeding empathy and compassion. Comparative suffering can work in two insidious [...]
Getting Un-Stuck
Change is scary, but acknowledging that you have the power to choose something different, may be even scarier. We can all at some point in our lives become paralyzed by fear, anxiety, worry, and disappointment. But, to get unstuck we have to choose change; we can't wait for it to happen. We have to get [...]
How to Cope with your Eating Disorder and the Holidays
Dr. Michael Deitz at Healthy Minds Therapy continues the conversation about eating disorders. The holidays are stressful times but they are especially stressful for someone recovering from an eating disorder when so much emphasis is put on food. Just remember, it is just one day! Eating Disorders Part 2 In case you missed it, [...]
Common Holiday Relapse Triggers
As we approach the holiday season, there is a shift in the world as we enter what is typically considered a wonderful and joyous time of the year. Unfortunately, amidst all this joy and merriment there can also be increased stress. This stress can stem from the financial burden of giving gifts, entertaining company, or [...]
Understanding HALT – How to Engage in Positive Behaviors
When we are aware of our mental, emotional, and physical states this can lead to us engaging in positive behaviors rather than impulsive behaviors. If we HALT and assess our needs then we are better able to address behaviors before they lead to relapse, whether that is returning to substance use or other behaviors we [...]
The Myth About Mindfulness
Mindfulness... it doesn't work. This is a common concern I hear from clients, and it usually includes a recent story about how breathing didn't help calm them down when they were in the midst of a panic attack. Of course it didn't work. Mindfulness is an incredible tool, but it's not the only useful coping [...]
Days are Getting Shorter Again: Tips to Circumvent Seasonal Pattern Depression
While fall brings pumpkin patches, apple picking, gorgeous foliage, and cooler weather… it also brings shorter days. The mornings are darker, and the sun starts to set earlier and earlier. While I personally am a big fan of the spooky season and am grateful the humidity and bugs are disappearing, I can also acknowledge that [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
Up to 40% of our mood can be determined by our daily actions. This research finding is good news. It means that we can have a significant impact on improving our mood. If you are looking for some ways to beat a bad mood, try some of the strategies below. Guard your sleep Sleep deprivation [...]
There is No Such Thing as Happiness (As We Commonly Know it)
“There is no such thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, in such a way that no one may isolate them.” ~ Jean Toomer, Cane What is happiness and what does it really mean to find happiness? Is it even possible? I have always found it interesting both in my personal and [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 2)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. Here are 10 additional mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find more peace [...]
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are very serious mental health conditions with physical ramifications. There are a lot of false narratives spread throughout society. Eating disorders affect about 30 million Americans at some point in their lives. Many factors can lead to an eating disorder such as environmental influences, genetic influences, and trauma influences. Dr. Deitz has worked [...]
Therapy: A Last Resort?
When thinking about going to therapy, we often feel like it’s a last-resort option. After we have tried to figure things out for ourselves, talked with family or friends, or even tried Google or YouTube, it’s only THEN that we think about reaching out to a professional. Only if the problems we are facing seem [...]
Misconceptions About Therapy
It is not uncommon to have some people’s first appointments with me go a little like this: “I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t think I really need therapy but my (mom, dad, sibling, friend) suggested it so I figured, why not?” When I ask them why they think they do not need [...]
Stress Management: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is an incredible skill to help manage stress, anxiety, panic, and any unpleasant feeling. It’s also great if you just want to relax! It’s a great way to ground your mind AND your body and can be done anywhere. How It Works You can either find a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise [...]
How to Get Over Fear
We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]
Family Dynamics in Addiction
Addiction does not only affect the person within their addiction it also affects the entire family. In a family, each member has a specific role for the family to function and maintain stability. When there is one person or multiple people in a family who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the family roles [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 1)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. 10 Mindfulness Exercises Here are 10 mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find [...]
Progress in Therapy: From Stagnation to Mobility
Progress with therapy looks different for everyone. It may look like a reduction in panic attacks and anxiety levels, light after never-ending darkness linked to tragedy and grief, a respite from the clutches of depression, or learning the self-advocacy and communication skills that create peaceful resolutions following years of conflict with a loved one. Progress [...]
Reasons Your Child May Need To See A Therapist
As a parent, you want the best for your child. If your child breaks his/her leg, you go to the hospital right away. But if your child is expressing anxiety or seems depressed, many parents aren’t sure what to do. Children go through difficult periods where they need help, support or someone to listen, just [...]
Weeds in a Neighbor’s Yard
There is an invasive weed in the neighbor’s yard, and I wanted to say something about it. I even thought of going over there and offering to help pull the weeds but was reminded that it was not for me to pull the weeds in the neighbor’s yard. I will let them continue to work [...]
Focus on The Chips, Not The Air – Shifting Your Mindset
We have all been there, in a line at the grocery store or sandwich shop with a tasty bag of chips in our hand. Maybe sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, barbecue, or even just a classic kettle-cooked! Imagine your taste buds starting to tingle as you anticipate being able to open up that [...]
Reasons to See a Therapist
It’s 2021 and “because you want to” or “because we are still dealing with a global pandemic” should be reason enough. There are all kinds of reasons to seek out help from an expert. Counselors and social workers have gone through several years of schooling, including a master’s program, as well as rigorous training for [...]
A Brief Introduction to Attachment
Let’s face it, humans need to be in close connection with others. We all possess a basic need to form close bonds throughout our lives. This need is so embedded in our biology. We are equipped with a system to manage our relationships with caregivers, partners, and children. This is known as our attachment system. [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]
If You are Searching for Happiness Read This
At the end of every intake, I ask clients what their goals for therapy are. Many of them give an answer indicative of their lifelong quest for happiness. I cannot count the number of times I have heard “to be happier” as a response to that question. If happiness is your ultimate goal, much like [...]
What Changes After Trauma
While not everyone has experienced a life-altering traumatic experience that would be defined as a “big T” trauma, almost all of us can look back throughout our lives and point to instances of how the “little t” traumas, the everyday distressing events or stressors, have affected us and shaped how we are currently interacting with [...]
How to Deal with Transition
With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]
No Drama Discipline
Parenting the 'Whole-Brain' way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind Every year when the weather gets warmer, my bookshelf gets a bit fuller. I admit; I am a bit of a nerd and love relaxing with a good book. This month, I am returning to an oldie but goodie. If you [...]
Can’t Stop Ruminating? Let’s Talk About WHAT You Can Do
I have quite a few clients come to me who have trouble with rumination. Something negative happened in the past, maybe it was yesterday or maybe it was a few years ago. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we cannot stop thinking about certain things. Common questions we ask ourselves when ruminating are “Why [...]
A Different Perspective on Fear
Fear is very pertinent to most people and many of my clients, especially in this day and age. Fear is a great cause of suffering. It stops us from being healthy, prevents us from being successful, keeps us from developing relationships that are helpful, and stops us from being at peace. But at the same [...]
Tips to Prevent Relapse
Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use. Relapse and the Recovery [...]
Connecting On A Bridge
When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]
Spiral Grounding Technique
The Spiral Technique is really great for when a disturbing thought or memory seems to keep coming up for you in daily life. It is a technique that helps to take the focus off of the disturbance and the sensations that come up in your body when you think of this event. Here is how [...]
What To Do If Therapy Stalls
You did it. In the sea of various credentials and types of therapy, you found a therapist that you can trust. Everything was great at first. And then…you hit a plateau. Month after month, you just don’t feel like you are making progress. It can be frustrating to feel like you are putting so much [...]
Are you a Maximizer or a Satisficer?
There are all kinds of schools of thought, theories of psychology, and personality quizzes boasting to understand us. One you may not have heard of, however, is Herbert A. Simon’s position on decision-making. He received the Nobel Prize in 1978 and is best known for his work as an economist and cognitive psychologist. Earlier in [...]
Using a Client’s Passion or Interest as a Therapeutic Tool
Often as therapists, we can find our clients, and ourselves, for that matter, stuck where we are both connected but some emotion or behavior or techniques are bearing no “fruit”. I often find a change in perspective at what my clients are trying to work through is especially useful. Often this is accomplished by “thinking [...]
Substance Use, Abuse, or Addiction: What’s the difference?
In the world of substance use treatment, there are various terms that can become confusing when one begins treatment or are new on their journey of recovery. One area of confusion is understanding the difference between substance use, abuse, and addiction. When a person can define and fully understand what they are experiencing, it can help them in the process of healing [...]
The Importance of Hobbies on our Mental Health
We all know that life can be hectic, especially recently due to the pandemic. We may be working all day, coming home to care for children, running errands, and getting work done around the house. When we do finally get some downtime, many of us resort to laying on the couch and scrolling through our [...]
Emotion Granularity: What Is It and Why It Matters
If you look up the definition of granular, it leaves a lot to be desired. You will find statements like: “composed of grains, containing granules, or resembling small particles.” Maybe imagery will be more helpful here - think about sand or sugar for instance. Then think about what those grains look like under a microscope. [...]
Art-Making and Process
The process of art-making can be multilayered. I am an encaustic artist, which uses wax in the painting process. Painting with wax has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Attending my first encaustic workshop was very stressful for me. There was a lot of self-doubt about my ability to learn this new painting [...]
“Pretzel Breathing Technique” for Children
Sometimes we tend to tell our children to calm down without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Today’s technique I want to share with you all is a good exercise for kids to experience calmness and reduce anxiety. This technique, called the “Pretzel Breathing Technique,” is a quick [...]
Do I Own My Story or Does My Story Own Me?
When it comes to trauma, we as counselors must assess the trauma narrative continuum, which is the degree to which our clients “own” their stories and to what degree the stories “own” our clients. I learned this concept from a one-time supervisor and now mentor and friend. I found it immediately relatable in my own [...]
Conceptualizations
I have noticed in my work with couples and individuals that people often remain in a state of suffering because of their own conceptualizations. We hold on to things like “it is your fault” or “I am right, and you are wrong” type conceptualizations. This way of being keeps us in a place of feeling [...]
Recognizing Transference
Have you ever had an experience where someone reminds you of a person you have known before and you view and interact with them as you did with that person from your past? If so, you may be experiencing transference. Transference Can Be Positive or Negative Transference occurs when a person directs feelings and experiences [...]
10 Ways ‘Anxiety Pain’ Manifests And How To Deal With Them
Anxiety doesn’t just happen in our heads—it can actually live in our bodies. Those that experience anxiety may be very well familiar with this. However, for some, it might come as a surprise just how much of a physical effect anxiety can have on the body. Learning and recognizing the physical symptoms of anxiety can [...]
Connecting to Recovery Resources
During the Covid-19 Pandemic Prior to the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, 12 Step Meetings, whether the meeting is Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and so on, were usually fairly easy to find. One could find a list of meetings in their area by the day of the week and time on AA.org or NA.org. A person [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 1
I see many clients who battle with a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation can range from struggling to keep up with daily chores, to feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning. If you are feeling unmotivated to engage in activities you used to enjoy, this can be concerning to some people. Feeling [...]
The Impact of Anxiety and Fear
“Life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is a guide as well as an enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient's awareness and vitality.” ~Irvin [...]
Commonalties in The Therapeutic Process and The Practice of Aikido
A Personal Experience As both Aikido instructor and practitioner, I am often amazed at the commonalities between the practice of Aikido, and the therapeutic process. The objective in Aikido is to join one’s personal ki (energy) with universal ki to achieve harmony (ai). Aikido stresses working with a partner, rather than wrestling or fighting against [...]
Three Things to Do for a Life Well Lived
Last year gave all of us the opportunity to tune into what is most important to us as we have wrestled with what it means to navigate our new circumstances and find joy. But what exactly brings us joy? What exactly is a life well-lived, and how can we set ourselves up to be happier [...]
Recovering Perfectionist? Me Too.
I am Type A. I’m an Enneagram 1. I love my planner, fresh sheets, organized spaces, and when I say I have a list for everything… I mean everything. Scheduling and de-cluttering brings me delight. I have been described as rigid, an overachiever, and some other not-so-kind things. And it has taken me a long time to [...]
Managing the Post Holiday Blues
We’ve all been there…the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over and the post-holiday blues can tend to set in. All the gifts have been opened, friends and family have left town and we must settle back into our daily routines. The cold and dark months of January and February can cause us to [...]
Three Myths About Emotions
Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question. Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]
What Is Your Window of Tolerance?
Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia You are gearing up for a test at school, a performance review, a presentation at work, or a few days home with your kids for a long weekend. These stressful events are often times manageable for us on a day-to-day basis. These kinds of stress-inducing events [...]
Depression During A Pandemic: Coping Skills To Combat The Blues
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Depression saps a person’s energy to do just about anything. As a result, people tend to become less active, which causes the depression to worsen. This has been the case for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Some behavioral activation may be beneficial to help stop [...]
Efficient Problem Solving
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Patients frequently come to me for advice when they encounter a problem and do not know what to do, where to go next or how to address the problem. We are usually able to work together to dissect the issue and make a plan [...]
Finding Your Snowflake in this 2020 Blizzard: A Quick Guide to Holiday Grief and Loss
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The holiday season is upon us and life is marching forward, but for some, your minds and your hearts are standing still, grieving the death of a loved one amidst what feels like an incoming storm. Even if the loss is from the past, holiday time [...]
Key Ingredients for Emotional Connectedness in a Relationship
Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert on couple’s emotional connectedness, created the acronym A.R.E. to describe three ingredients that are needed to create healthy, emotionally satisfying relationships. Relationships that embodied accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement tend to have the highest relationship satisfaction and are characterized by high levels of trust and commitment. What exactly is A.R.E.? “A” [...]
What if I feel worse after a therapy session and not better?
By Jasmine Payne, Resident in Counseling Therapy is hard work. It is rewarding but sometimes it can be overwhelming, sometimes it is frustrating, and sometimes it is sad. The quote “it gets worse before it gets better” seems applicable here. Re-training your brain, healing trauma, and unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms are not simple tasks. And while [...]
You’ve Got This! Three Holistic Steps to Managing Anxiety
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The two most important things to understand about anxiety are that it is universally experienced and that it is holistically managed. You are absolutely not alone in experiencing anxiety, though it can feel that way. Anxiety symptoms can impact our emotional, physical and spiritual health. [...]
Our Mental Shortcuts and Bias’ in Decision-Making
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have found myself coveting more time to read and learn. I have gleaned much from these conversations and trainings and have found them helpful in considering the various ways in which I may openly [...]
Character Strengths
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Often in our society we are taught or conditioned to look at our weaknesses and constantly try to improve them. This approach can be limiting and make real growth almost impossible in some situations. This often leads to negative self-talk and a lowered self-esteem. I encourage people to instead, [...]
Couples, COVID, and Cabin Fever
By Jasmine Payne, Resident in Counseling Back at the beginning of 2020 weren’t we all wishing we could spend more quality time at home with our loved ones or our partners? When true quality time was only able to be squeezed into the weekends or maybe weeknights (if the dishes got put away and the [...]
5 Ways To Create And Preserve Healthier Boundaries
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling For many of us, building boundaries is a relatively new and challenging concept. Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and a healthy life. Creating and preserving boundaries is a skill that not many of us learn. Here are five ways to build better boundaries and maintain them: Tune into [...]
EMDR and You
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Throughout our lives, we sometimes experience disturbing or distressing events. These events, which can be called traumas, can occur in the form of a big, life altering event (a “Big T” Trauma) such as a natural disaster or the death of a loved one, or [...]
Worry and Growth
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia I’ve been thinking about the struggles that we have been experiencing during this stay-at-home period. It has been a challenging time and many people are experiencing a lot of worry or fear. I have seen this in the art world, with friends, and hear it [...]
Remembering why we love each other
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Frequently I have clients come in stating that “nothing is particularly wrong” in their relationship or in their marriage, but lately the spark is not there any longer, arguments occur more often and easily and the arguments seem trivial. Both individuals just seem more [...]
Box Breathing Exercise
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia We are headed towards fall weather! While some may be excited by the change of seasons, others may be worried about what the colder weather might mean for their ability to use calming techniques like being outside or going on a walk. As we transition [...]
What’s Your “Upside Down” Magic?
This weekend my family watched the movie, “Upside Down Magic,” for movie night. In the movie, a group of young children are deemed misfits because of their “wonky, ” “unorthodox,” and “upside down” magic. When the school gets attacked by “Shadow Magic,” the children must confront the parts of them they once avoided to rediscover [...]
Two Arrows (Emotional Objectivity)
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia There is a Buddhist metaphor that I have found to be a great way to think about emotional objectivity. When something difficult happens in life, as can be expected from time to time, we often internalize how we feel about it subjectively. This is where [...]
Taking the Time to Talk with Your Anxious Child
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Are you noticing that your young child has recently become more afraid of things, developed phobias they did not have before or is running to you with every small issue they come across? Maybe your child has suddenly become terrified of thunder or catastrophizes [...]
Boundaries: How I Can Love You & Me at the Same Time
By Jasmine Payne, HMT Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia We have all heard the word boundaries. What do you think of when you hear it? Common answers include: a brick wall, a barrier, a way to keep people out, a line drawn in the sand, something that keeps me safe, or a tall privacy fence. [...]
Keeping It REAL as a Parent!
By Mary Jackson, MSW is a Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern Virginia Parents…this one is for you! Have you ever had one of those days when you feel as if you are going to LOSE IT? Recently I did. It wasn’t just parenting that had me overwhelmed. It was the sum of EVERYTHING. [...]
Find Your Calm or Safe Place – A Relaxation Technique
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia This time of the year is rife with transitions, which can be stressful for everyone. Especially with the pandemic continuing, we are under a lot of pressure as the new school year begins and children start classes online or adults try to figure out childcare. [...]
Cultivating Positive Mental Focus – Part 4
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In everything and everyone we encounter in life there will be aspects we appreciate and aspects we maybe don’t prefer. As we discussed in earlier articles of this series our minds naturally focus on the negative first because this was necessary in some ways for [...]
Strategies for Good Communication
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Why do you need good communication? To put it simply, good communication can make or break any kind of relationship. Whether it's in business, with a friend, a family member or a significant other. Communication is vital for conveying feelings, giving instructions, and building [...]
Repressed Memories: Are They Real and How Do We Recover Them?
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling When we recall memories from our past, some might elicit feelings of happiness and others might involve less pleasant emotions. We are able to consciously conjure up these memories and remember the feelings associated with them. Sometimes, we make a conscious effort to avoid thinking about these memories because [...]
Attitude of Gratitude: Finding Light in the Darkness of Pandemic
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia The past few months have been really hard. Starting with the onset of the Coronavirus in March, there has been a lot of darkness that we as a society have had to deal with! There has been so much focus on self-preservation and making [...]
When “Fake it til’ you Make it” Doesn’t Work
By Jasmine Payne, HMT Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Many of us have heard the sentiment “fake it until you make it.” It implies that if you can imitate or pretend to have certain qualities or emotions like happiness, confidence, or competence that you will eventually obtain them genuinely. While this works for [...]
Challenging Your Negative Thoughts
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA During this uncertain time we all may be more prone to depression, anxiety and poor self-esteem. Irrational negative thoughts could be the culprit! Since many of us are stuck at home, social media use has been on the rise. We may accomplish one thing, feel good [...]
Helping Children Deal With Their Feelings
By Grace Kim, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia The relationship between each parent and child is a very personal and private matter. Learning effective communication skills can change the way parents treat their children. Firstly, it is important to help children deal with their feelings. In order to do this, recognize that there is [...]
An Open Letter from Alycia
Dear Healthy Minds Family, I sincerely hope as you read this email, you are in good health. I recognize your hearts and minds may be filled with fear and worry. As the world continues to change around us, I still walk alongside of you. The events going on around all of us are heartbreaking and [...]
Quick and Helpful Thought Check
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Sometimes our brains get stuck on “what ifs” or thoughts that are solely negative. It’s easy to focus on the worst case scenarios that stem from some of our negative thinking, such as “If we get in a fight she is going to break up [...]
Working with Our Emotions – Part One
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Rawpixel.com/Adobe Stock Emotions can become overwhelming in the blink of an eye and it can sometimes feel like there is no way to prevent them from feeling insurmountable. It may seem like everywhere you turn someone is doing something that is mean, frustrating or disrespectful. Every [...]
How are you, really? Make your mental health a priority.
Photo by Dhaya Eddine Bentaleb on Unsplash The world looks a little different than it did a few weeks ago. For many, this has brought to surface many stresses. The stress from pivoting into your new roles and responsibilities, along with social distancing and isolation, has led to an increase in depression. Here is how depression can show [...]
Understanding the Teenage Brain
Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia Raising a teenager can be hard. There is so much social, emotional, and neurobiological change happening in such a short amount of time. Many of us can remember, rather vividly, what it felt like during this awkward and [...]
Mental Health Do’s and Don’ts during Quarantine!
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling Most of us are stumped on what to do while we’re locked down in our homes. We’ve re-watched all the Harry Potter movies. We’ve binge-watched all the seasons of our favorite shows on Netflix. We’ve “cleaned” our kitchens and our rooms. We’ve emptied out our pantries and shelves once [...]
Keeping Your Peace of Mind Amidst the Chaos
By Jasmine Payne, HMT Resident in Counseling There is so much going on right now and so much of it is out of our control. This is an unprecedented time and situation. Many of us are faced with trying to figure out what a new normal looks like. The most important thing to remember is [...]
Navigating Uncharted Waters: COVID-19
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy We are in uncharted territory together as our community braces to contain the impact of COVID-19. Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash As a parent, you have likely had to shape-shift into many forms this week—comforter, fear-slayer, information-gatherer, preparer, and more recently teacher. You have likely [...]
Three Calming Activities
To help anxious children (and you!) that can be done in the home! By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash These activities are great for children and adults to help them practice mindfulness, live in the here and now, and learn to reduce symptoms of anxiety. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: What is [...]
Protect Your Mental Health From the Dark Sides of Social Media
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by William Iven on Unsplash It's easier said than done to detox yourself from social media. It is everywhere and, if you are like most, you have the fear of missing out. But social media has many dark sides and it is in the best interest of your own [...]
Mindful Self Compassion
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash In the last couple of blog articles, we have covered how to begin tuning in to our mental process to begin noticing moment-to-moment what our mind is up to. As we tune into this process, it is likely you will notice some negative self-talk. These negative [...]
The Magic Ratio to a Happy, Healthy Relationship
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash John Gottman, a well-known and well-respected couples researcher, has documented multiple differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Of these differences, healthy relationships, he suggests, have five times more positive interactions than negative interactions. Luckily, this means that we don’t have to [...]
Change is hard. But worth it.
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash Are you healthy and well, or just comfortable? Comfort can be a tricky subject when dealing with health and wellness. Often times, individuals find themselves in poor health, either mentally or physically, because they are comfortable and unwilling to change. Humans are conditioned to seek the [...]
Getting to the Heart of Communication
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash Many couples seek out couples therapy because they are finding communication difficult. In the world of couples interventions, communication skills training and “I” statements are popular. While these skills may provide short-term gains, I often see them failing to provide the [...]
Noticing the Mental Process
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Pixabay Image Practicing Mindfulness in your daily life as often as possible can give us the power to become less reactive to thoughts and feelings. We can begin to intentionally notice what are mind is up to and begin to retrain it to operate in a more useful way. [...]
New Year, New You?
Photo by Danil Aksenov on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy As one year closes and another begins, it is natural to think of what we hope the journey ahead entails. Certainly, New Year's resolutions can be guide posts to help us stay on track towards big goals. But often, we tend [...]
Tips for dealing with stress over the holidays
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash We know the stress of the holidays can be a lot. Here are two simple tips to keep in mind to keep stress at bay. 1) Don’t break the bank to try and show you love or care. Many people try to show their family and [...]
Do The Next Right Thing
Photo by Dustin Belt on Unsplash By Alison Morogiello, MEd, NCC , Resident in Counseling Upon viewing the new “Frozen II” movie with my two young nieces, there was a mantra throughout the film that allowed the characters to move forward when things felt hopeless. “Do the next right thing”. Sometimes in life, we are faced with overwhelming [...]
The 5 Signs of Burnout
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy During the holidays, there can be a lot of emotional resources going out. One way that we can practice self-care is to recognize the signs of burnout and pull back when we feel like too much of ourselves is going into caring for others. [...]
Keeping Children Safe Online
By Dr. Debra Rezendes - Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by McKaela Lee on Unsplash One modern parenting challenge that I frequently hear about is how to keep kids and teens safe online. It can be hard to know how to keep children safe amidst the changing landscape of the online world. One certainty about the [...]
Supporting Families in the Fourth Trimester
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash My social media feed has been bursting with pictures of mothers to be and new babies entering the world. I love the moment a family meets their little one. And, I also know from working with hundreds of mothers and families, [...]
Daily Mindfulness Practice Basics
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash A simple and effective way to cultivate a more calm and peaceful life is to take the time to notice the thoughts that lead to our feelings. Our brains are always thinking even if we are not tuned into our thoughts. These thoughts lead to feelings whether [...]
Systems That Save You Time In Group Practice
Photo copy write Practice of the Practice In our practice, we have found several systems that work to streamline our business and save us time. Every minute wasted, is money lost. I have worked with our Directors to create systems for our practice, allowing our clinicians to do what they do best…therapy! I want our clinicians [...]
On Being A Therapist…And Mother and Business Owner
Photo copy write Practice of the Practice When I first started out on this journey of becoming who I am today, I had no idea what was ahead of me. If someone would’ve told me I was going to start a business, have a baby and then buy a business all within one year, I would’ve [...]
Social Media: How to Choose The Best Platform For Your Practice
Photo copy write Practice of the Practice Twitter, Facebook, Instagram…. oh my! There are so many options when it comes to choosing which social media platform will work best for you and your clients. A major mistake is using all of the platforms available at once to start. Instead, try starting with just one or two and [...]
Seeking Safety
Seeking Safety was designed for people with a history of trauma and/or addiction. Trauma means a distressing event such as a child abuse, major accident, combat, domestic violence, natural disaster, etc. Addiction means destructive use of alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, shopping, etc. It focuses on coping skills to help you become safer in your relationships, [...]
Choose Your Filter! Explaining CBT to Teens
By Alison Whitehouse, Resident in Counseling We all have what’s called “cognitive distortions” and “negative core beliefs”, that negatively shape how we think, feel, and act. How can we explain this to a teenager? Let’s use the metaphor of Instagram filters. On Instagram, you have a picture to upload and a list of filters in which to [...]
