It is important to have communication in the moment or near the moment. Recently, I talked with a friend about an event that occurred many years ago. I didn’t bring it up at that particular moment, but I realized that I had been holding onto this for a very long time. I remember the event like it happened yesterday and at that moment I felt confused and frustrated. Some of that frustration was also directed inwardly.
Many of us do this with those close to us and it can cause an imbalance in the relationship. Thich Nhat Hanh in the book Touching Peace writes “when someone says something unkind to us, for example, if we do not understand why he said it and we become irritated, a knot will be tied to us.” He goes on to discuss the need to untie the knot. This knot, similar to negative feelings if left unattended, can build up and grow stronger over time. Sometimes it is difficult to address emotions as they surface at the moment. We struggle to identify them or do not know how to address them when they surface. I was unable to address the topic with my friend.
Don’t Let Too Much Time Pass
I felt like too much time had passed to talk with my friend to communicate my true feelings. Although it was still important for me to have a conversation with them. I encourage people to communicate any concerns within a week’s time. I have written about this previously and think that reflection helps when exploring emotions which we are unable to discuss as an event is taking place. Circling back to it after reflection helps to start a dialog. It can be challenging to sit with emotions but reflecting on them and coming back to them allows us to have less stressful conversations.
Jackie is a Resident in Counseling providing counseling services in our Alexandria location. Jackie earned
an M.S.Ed. from Old Dominion University in Mental Health Counseling and has training in art therapy. In addition to her counseling background, Jackie also has a degree in the arts with an MA in Art History from Virginia Commonwealth University.
Jackie is a humanistic counselor who provides person-centered counseling in both English and Spanish. She is dedicated to providing a safe space for clients to explore experiences and to work towards positive changes guided by their desired outcomes. To learn more about Jackie, visit HERE.