Self-Care Exercises

What is self-care and why is it important? Self-care means taking care of oneself by engaging in activities that promote wellness. These areas of wellness include emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, practical, and professional well-being. It is crucial that you address each of these areas to better cope with various stressors and find balance in [...]

The Productivity Paradox

How many times have you found yourself with a canceled appointment and you frantically looked for something to do to fill that space? We’ve all been there. Not wanting to waste a single moment of possible productivity.   Somewhere along the way we’ve managed to attach our happiness and success to our productivity. This has resulted [...]

Tips on Self-Care

  How to add Self-Care to your daily routine.  As the saying goes, "an empty tank will take you exactly nowhere. Take time to refuel."  Self-care is not selfish so erase that concept from your mind. If anything, it benefits not only you but those who are around you. You cannot properly care for others [...]

No Show or Show Up?

Your First Counseling Session: Trying something new for the first time can cause quite a bit of anxiety. I felt pretty anxious before I went to my first barre class (you know, that trendy exercise fad right now combining Pilates, yoga and ballet?). I imagine this is what it feels like to start therapy for [...]

Grieving the Loss of a Pet

The loss of someone you care deeply for can feel absolutely devastating. The same goes for the death of a cat, dog, or any other pet you may have. The experiences and feelings we have with our pets are unique to our relationship with them. There is no one else that has experienced that relationship [...]

Break Through Resistance

It happens to all of us. We make a commitment to change, and then, resistance hits. Unexpected barriers, that we don’t know how to deal with, can be one of the biggest reasons that we don’t achieve our goals. Resistance can easily discourage us and give us reasons not to change.  For some people, resistance [...]

Sleep Hygiene

Sleep. We love it, we hate it. It can be a source of rest, but also a source of stress. When 50-70 million people in the United States suffer from a diagnosable sleep disorder, it’s clear that it is a prevalent issue. It affects our physical, mental, and emotional health. Just like you brush your [...]

Common Holiday Relapse Triggers

As we approach the holiday season, there is a shift in the world as we enter what is typically considered a wonderful and joyous time of the year. Unfortunately, amidst all this joy and merriment there can also be increased stress. This stress can stem from the financial burden of giving gifts, entertaining company, or [...]

Thoughts on Empathy

Recently a friend who was in the process of moving was telling me how stressful it was for her. This led me to reflect on my own stressful experiences with moving. Looking back on how I responded to her, I realize that I became so caught up in my own thoughts that I did not [...]

The Myth About Mindfulness

Mindfulness... it doesn't work. This is a common concern I hear from clients, and it usually includes a recent story about how breathing didn't help calm them down when they were in the midst of a panic attack.  Of course it didn't work.  Mindfulness is an incredible tool, but it's not the only useful coping [...]

What are Behavioral Addictions?

Behavioral Addictions, also known as process addictions, exist outside of the world of drug and alcohol use. As defined by the National Institute of Health (NIH), behavioral addiction is a compulsion to continually engage in an activity or behavior despite the negative impact on the person’s ability to remain mentally and/or physically healthy and functional [...]

How to Get Over Fear

We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]

Family Dynamics in Addiction

Addiction does not only affect the person within their addiction it also affects the entire family. In a family, each member has a specific role for the family to function and maintain stability. When there is one person or multiple people in a family who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the family roles [...]

A Brief Introduction to Attachment

Let’s face it, humans need to be in close connection with others. We all possess a basic need to form close bonds throughout our lives. This need is so embedded in our biology. We are equipped with a system to manage our relationships with caregivers, partners, and children. This is known as our attachment system.  [...]

Three Ways to Improve your Mood

You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]

How to Deal with Transition

With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]

No Drama Discipline

Parenting the 'Whole-Brain' way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind Every year when the weather gets warmer, my bookshelf gets a bit fuller. I admit; I am a bit of a nerd and love relaxing with a good book. This month, I am returning to an oldie but goodie.  If you [...]

Tips to Prevent Relapse

Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use.  Relapse and the Recovery [...]

Connecting On A Bridge

When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]

What To Do If Therapy Stalls

You did it.  In the sea of various credentials and types of therapy, you found a therapist that you can trust. Everything was great at first. And then…you hit a plateau. Month after month, you just don’t feel like you are making progress. It can be frustrating to feel like you are putting so much [...]

Substance Use, Abuse, or Addiction: What’s the difference?

In the world of substance use treatment, there are various terms that can become confusing when one begins treatment or are new on their journey of recovery. One area of confusion is understanding the difference between substance use, abuse, and addiction.  When a person can define and fully understand what they are experiencing, it can help them in the process of healing [...]

Art-Making and Process

The process of art-making can be multilayered. I am an encaustic artist, which uses wax in the painting process. Painting with wax has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Attending my first encaustic workshop was very stressful for me. There was a lot of self-doubt about my ability to learn this new painting [...]

Thoughts on Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is something that many of us struggle with. We are sometimes hard on ourselves as we strive to do better or live up to expectations that we set for ourselves. It can be a heavyweight to carry. Many years ago, I attended a talk on the Dalai Lama’s book How to Be Compassionate.  I [...]

Connecting with Your Child

When Emotionally Exhausted Last month marked the one-year anniversary of COVID-related social distancing policies, new schedules, new ways of being in the world, and an abrupt goodbye to pre-pandemic life. There has been an upsurge in hitting the “pandemic wall”—our brains are full and tired and our kids are feeling the weight of boredom. New [...]

Conceptualizations

I have noticed in my work with couples and individuals that people often remain in a state of suffering because of their own conceptualizations.  We hold on to things like “it is your fault” or “I am right, and you are wrong” type conceptualizations.  This way of being keeps us in a place of feeling [...]

Connecting to Recovery Resources

During the Covid-19 Pandemic Prior to the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, 12 Step Meetings, whether the meeting is Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and so on, were usually fairly easy to find. One could find a list of meetings in their area by the day of the week and time on AA.org or NA.org. A person [...]

Cultivating Understanding

Like any other useful human trait, understanding must be intentionally cultivated through practice.  Understanding does not necessarily mean agreeing with someone. We can have different values than others and respect their point of view.  Like any other mindful practice, it must be based on compassion. Compassion for ourselves as well as compassion for others.  Compassion is what will allow us to [...]

Three Myths About Emotions

Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question.  Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]

Key Ingredients for Emotional Connectedness in a Relationship

Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert on couple’s emotional connectedness, created the acronym A.R.E. to describe three ingredients that are needed to create healthy, emotionally satisfying relationships. Relationships that embodied accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement tend to have the highest relationship satisfaction and are characterized by high levels of trust and commitment.   What exactly is A.R.E.? “A” [...]

Character Strengths

By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling  Often in our society we are taught or conditioned to look at our weaknesses and constantly try to improve them.  This approach can be limiting and make real growth almost impossible in some situations.  This often leads to negative self-talk and a lowered self-esteem. I encourage people to instead, [...]

Worry and Growth

By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia  I’ve been thinking about the struggles that we have been experiencing during this stay-at-home period. It has been a challenging time and many people are experiencing a lot of worry or fear. I have seen this in the art world, with friends, and hear it [...]

Art-Making and Mental Health

By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Creativity and mental health go hand in hand. I am a visual artist who enjoys painting, working with pottery, and photography. I turned to art-making during a high stress time in my life and it helped me find balance. One of the texts that taught [...]

Self-care ideas!

By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling If you are anything like me, practicing self-care and self-love can often get placed on the back burner. Also, I am not a proclaimed morning person, so other than those things I NEED to do, I've learned they likely won't get done until I'm [...]

Working with Thoughts – Part 3

By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia    In the first couple of articles in this series we focused on noticing our emotions objectively and learning how to not be reactive to them. This is a constant lifelong practice that we can get better at over time and we should also remember [...]

Positive Impacts of Journaling

By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling in Northern Virginia  Journaling allows people to clarify their thoughts and feelings, thereby gaining valuable self-knowledge. It's also a good problem-solving tool; oftentimes, one can hash out a problem and come up with solutions more easily on paper. Here are some of the studied positive impacts of [...]

Taking Time to Pause

By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia  We are in a time of uncertainty where some relationships have been strained due to a variety of stressors. For some it has been a time of thriving in being close to another, while for others it is a challenging time. We are always relating [...]

Working with Our Emotions – Part One

By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia  Rawpixel.com/Adobe Stock Emotions can become overwhelming in the blink of an eye and it can sometimes feel like there is no way to prevent them from feeling insurmountable. It may seem like everywhere you turn someone is doing something that is mean, frustrating or disrespectful. Every [...]

Self-Compassion Break

Photo by Michelle on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia  For so many, the recent months have required a bit of flexibility. The pandemic has left many individuals, parents, and families juggling multiple roles. We are all trying to figure things out day by day. In moments of high [...]

Understanding the Teenage Brain

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia  Raising a teenager can be hard. There is so much social, emotional, and neurobiological change happening in such a short amount of time. Many of us can remember, rather vividly, what it felt like during this awkward and [...]

Navigating Uncharted Waters: COVID-19

By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy We are in uncharted territory together as our community braces to contain the impact of COVID-19. Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash As a parent, you have likely had to shape-shift into many forms this week—comforter, fear-slayer, information-gatherer, preparer, and more recently teacher. You have likely [...]

Three Calming Activities

To help anxious children (and you!) that can be done in the home! By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash These activities are great for children and adults to help them practice mindfulness, live in the here and now, and learn to reduce symptoms of anxiety. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: What is [...]

Mindful Self Compassion

By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash In the last couple of blog articles, we have covered how to begin tuning in to our mental process to begin noticing moment-to-moment what our mind is up to.  As we tune into this process, it is likely you will notice some negative self-talk.  These negative [...]

The Magic Ratio to a Happy, Healthy Relationship

By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash John Gottman, a well-known and well-respected couples researcher, has documented multiple differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships.  Of these differences, healthy relationships, he suggests, have five times more positive interactions than negative interactions. Luckily, this means that we don’t have to [...]

Getting to the Heart of Communication

By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash Many couples seek out couples therapy because they are finding communication difficult. In the world of couples interventions, communication skills training and “I” statements are popular. While these skills may provide short-term gains, I often see them failing to provide the [...]

Noticing the Mental Process

By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Pixabay Image Practicing Mindfulness in your daily life as often as possible can give us the power to become less reactive to thoughts and feelings.  We can begin to intentionally notice what are mind is up to and begin to retrain it to operate in a more useful way. [...]

5 Ways For a Stress-Free Sleep

By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash We’ve all been there. You turn to look at the clock and it’s 2:00 am, then 3:00am. You have to get up in a few hours but, you are still wide awake with what feels like a million thoughts running [...]

New Year, New You?

Photo by Danil Aksenov on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy As one year closes and another begins, it is natural to think of what we hope the journey ahead entails. Certainly, New Year's resolutions can be guide posts to help us stay on track towards big goals. But often, we tend [...]

Do The Next Right Thing

Photo by Dustin Belt on Unsplash By Alison Morogiello, MEd, NCC , Resident in Counseling Upon viewing the new “Frozen II” movie with my two young nieces, there was a mantra throughout the film that allowed the characters to move forward when things felt hopeless. “Do the next right thing”. Sometimes in life, we are faced with overwhelming [...]

The 5 Signs of Burnout

By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy During the holidays, there can be a lot of emotional resources going out. One way that we can practice self-care is to recognize the signs of burnout and pull back when we feel like too much of ourselves is going into caring for others. [...]

Gut Microbes and Mental Health!

By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling Photo by Brandless on Unsplash It's no secret that mental health and the gut-brain membrane is a new, flourishing research area! One study found that Coprococcus seems to have a pathway related to dopamine, a key brain signal involved in depression, although they have no evidence how this [...]

Keeping Children Safe Online

By Dr. Debra Rezendes - Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by McKaela Lee on Unsplash One modern parenting challenge that I frequently hear about is how to keep kids and teens safe online. It can be hard to know how to keep children safe amidst the changing landscape of the online world. One certainty about the [...]

Daily Mindfulness Practice Basics

By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash A simple and effective way to cultivate a more calm and peaceful life is to take the time to notice the thoughts that lead to our feelings. Our brains are always thinking even if we are not tuned into our thoughts.  These thoughts lead to feelings whether [...]

Play away Separation Anxiety

By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy School is back in session, the season in which separation anxiety may rear itself. The good news is that separation anxiety is often normal, short lived, and can be an indication of the healthy and loving relationship with your young child. Separation Anxiety For [...]

Nighty Night

By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy For many of us parents, the blissful summer days of sleeping in have been replaced by the early morning routines of the school year. As we trade the slower paced days of summer for the beginning of the school year, the natural transition of [...]

Seeking Safety

Seeking Safety was designed for people with a history of trauma and/or addiction. Trauma means a distressing event such as a child abuse, major accident, combat, domestic violence, natural disaster, etc. Addiction means destructive use of alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, shopping, etc. It focuses on coping skills to help you become safer in your relationships, [...]