Throughout Black History Month, we honor the lasting impact African Americans have made across every sector of our society, including the field of mental health. Their leadership, resilience, and innovation have shaped how we understand emotional wellness, healing, and care within our communities. At Healthy Minds Therapy, we intentionally use this time each year to [...]
Author: Healthy Minds Therapy
Holding Grief During the Holiday Season
Loss is one of the most difficult and universal experiences we have as humans. Around the holidays, many people experience a renewed sense of grief, sadness, anger, and longing for people or relationships they have lost over their lives. While it can be hard to experience these emotions, it is important to understand that the [...]
Nature’s Free Therapy
When was the last time you went to a park? Do you take breaks to go outside during your day? A growing body of research indicates that spending time in nature can reduce stress, increase feelings of happiness, and promote overall well-being. A study conducted by the University of Michigan found that spending just 20 [...]
What to Consider When Looking for a Therapist
Seeking support for your mental health is a big step, and it can be hard to know where to start once you’ve decided to try (or return to) talk therapy. Start by asking yourself whether virtual or in-person therapy is more suitable for you and your life. While there are many opinions out there on [...]
Do We Need Couples Counseling or Discernment Counseling?
When couples face significant relationship struggles, seeking professional help can be a transformative step. However, not all couples therapy approaches serve the same purpose. Two common but distinct paths are discernment counseling and couples counseling. Understanding the differences between these approaches can help you choose the right fit for your unique situation. What is Discernment [...]
Making the Case for Co-parenting Counseling
As a Family Court mediator in the Washington, D.C., court system, I witness the stress and difficult emotions separated parents experience when trying to co-parent their shared children. Some of the parents I work with are ending a marriage or long-term relationship, while others were together only long enough to create their child. Regardless of [...]
When There Is No Fix
Sometimes in life, we may find ourselves facing circumstances that are beyond our control. We may notice increases in anxiety, depression, and hopelessness as we try to make sense of our world. We can busy ourselves trying to “fix” the problem in an attempt to find some way to feel more settled in the chaos. [...]
Developing Media Literacy in an Online World
We live in an extraordinary age. We have the ability to answer almost all questions and explore topics beyond our wildest dreams with the touch of one button. Google, and the internet at large, has allowed for any and everything to be available to us. With so much available to us at all times, how [...]
A Guide to Trauma Writing
Processing trauma through writing involves telling the story and expressing the deep emotional impact of the traumatic experience. Writing helps to organize thoughts and emotions, which can alleviate the distress caused by traumatic and stressful events. With repeated writing, people often shift their language and narrative structure, creating a more coherent story that fosters deeper reflection [...]
What is Love?
There are many different ways many different people will define love. Mister Rogers said: “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” I believe that to be true. [...]
Adult Time Management: A New Perspective
How are those New Year’s resolutions and goals progressing? I recently came across a statistic revealing that only 25% of people stick with their goals beyond January. Many of my sessions during the winter months center on motivation and behavioral activation, as clients grapple with maintaining momentum. When it comes to managing time as an [...]
Nurturing Your Mind, Body, and Spirit: Self-Care Journal Prompts for Your Well-Being
Self-care isn't just about pampering ourselves with bubble baths or a spa day—it’s a holistic practice that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. Tending to these three parts of ourselves is essential for maintaining the energy and balance we need to show up fully in our work, relationships, and daily commitments. But, self-care is deeply [...]
Try Something New this New Years
The allure of the New Year’s resolution compels many of us to begin creating a list of goals every December to be accomplished in the next year. Many of these goals focus on improving health, developing new habits, or making changes to our circumstances. The promise of a “new year, new you” entices many of [...]
Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions: Alternatives for a More Intentional 2025
Since before the decorations were off the tree and all the Hanukkah candles were lit, I’ve been asking people about New Year’s resolutions. Not necessarily what those resolutions are, but how they feel about making them. Some folks don’t bother making them because they feel it’s an exercise in failure. That was the view of [...]
Three Tips for Navigating Holiday Stress
Self-Care Tips for Dealing with Grief, Loneliness, and Family Tension The Hallmark Channel has made a fortune providing subscribers a vision of Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas as a wonderful festive time where problems are worked out by New Year, but it's not that way for most of us. Holiday escapism into holiday-themed movies, books and [...]
The Holidays: ‘Tis the Season of Limits and Boundaries
Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Yule, or any other big family event, it’s an exciting, festive time filled with cheer and good food. For many, it’s a time to reconnect with relatives and family friends you haven’t seen in a year or more. However, it can also be a time when stress is high [...]
Creativity in Parenting
While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, we know that fostering a safe, nurturing environment can help children grow and build resilience. Parenting neurodivergent children can provide unique opportunities for caregivers to be creative in exploring their child’s world, preferences, and strengths. Below are a few prompts to guide parents in becoming curious about [...]
Strengthening Therapeutic Connections Through Pets in Telehealth Therapy
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” - Not Sigmund Freud “I, as is well known, do not like cats. “ - SIGMUND FREUD The bond between people and their animals evolved through history, from utilitarian farm cats and hunting dogs to cherished family members in their own right. As people became more socially isolated, [...]
Avoiding Compassion Fatigue in an Online World
We live part of our lives online. Many of us have multiple social media accounts across many, many different apps. Online often feels inescapable. We are consistently being told about current events that we “must” care about. Oftentimes, we cannot avoid an article, a TikTok, or an Instagram reel about something happening in the world. [...]
Benefits of Psychotherapy
If you’re curious about therapy, it can be helpful to learn more about the unique benefits it offers for improving mental health. One benefit of one-on-one talk therapy is the individualized nature of the treatment. Over time, often during weekly sessions, your therapist learns about you and your strengths, to help collaborate on a [...]
A New Year Newer You
The new year always rolls in with the promise of new beginnings and fresh starts. Many of us find it hard to resist the idea of initiating something new without much thought to unsuccessful attempts in the past. We are able to step outside of the thought loops which for some of us derail our [...]
It’s Okay if there are “knots” this Holiday Season
Someone posted this on social media. I know it was meant to be a chuckle to get us through the stress of the holiday season and I feel most of us see it and identify deeply. Something else came to mind for me. A good friend’s grandmother extolled this: If a string is in a [...]
Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?
It’s the holiday season. Before we are even able to put the Fall decorations away, the Christmas trees already have their lights on. Jingle Bells accompany us wherever we go to endorse our festive mood. Yet, the moods my clients bring to the office these days are often far from being festive. For many, the [...]
If You Need Me, I’ll Be in My Pillow Fort.
Intentional Goal Setting and Honoring Your Inner Child Hello there. If we aren’t acquainted, I’m Maggie. Just your garden variety, anxiety-having, ADD-brained impostor syndrome toting LPC. Nice to meet you. I’ve noticed a trend in folks I encounter, including myself, with the change of the season. People are feeling a little uncertain about a direction [...]
The Process of Healing – What to Let Go of, What Do I keep?
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer ~ Albert Camus Healing is a complex process that involves physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. The process of healing may differ depending on the individual and the specific condition or ailment being treated, but there are some general principles that can [...]
Helping Clients Heal After Heartbreak
As a clinician supporting clients in the aftermath of a relationship’s ending, it is oftentimes a delicate and multi-faceted process. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that each client copes with the grief and sadness in a way that is unique to them. Being able to properly assess their unique [...]
Do you struggle with body image?
Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It encompasses everything from the shape of your body (including height and weight) to what you believe about your own appearance. Many of us internalize external messages starting at a young age that can [...]
Self-Care Exercises
What is self-care and why is it important? Self-care means taking care of oneself by engaging in activities that promote wellness. These areas of wellness include emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, practical, and professional well-being. It is crucial that you address each of these areas to better cope with various stressors and find balance in [...]
What kind of parent are you?
Everyone wants to be a good parent. From the moment we decide to parent and raise a child, we start asking ourselves one of the most important and challenging questions – How do we actually do that? How should we raise our kids, so they grow up into successful, caring, and responsible adults? How should [...]
Emotional Hunger vs. Physical Hunger
Have you ever used food to cope with stress or any other emotion? Sometimes people use food to avoid emotional discomfort or distract themselves from distressing thoughts. First, take a few deep breaths, and acknowledge that you’re human! It happens! Today, you are going to learn the difference between two different types of Hunger: Emotional [...]
Thinking Better and Avoiding Mind Traps
An important first step in changing how we think and developing the ability to recognize our distorted thinking is by developing an awareness of common “Mind Traps”. Mind traps are often a byproduct of our inner self-talk, but it is important to note that without some sort of “fact-checking” our inner self-talk is not always [...]
How to help your kids get (mentally) ready for school
After two months full of beach trips, ice creams, pool days, drive-in movies, cookouts, and backyard campings, it is time to pack the backpacks and return to school. Fall is always a busy and stressful season for parents, students, and all school personnel. Although we are faced with different challenges, we all experience mixed feelings [...]
The Art of Mindful Vacationing
If you're anything like me, you dread the post-vacation slump which often shows up bright and early the Monday morning following vacations. It's no secret vacations can be stressful and often times we set the bar extremely high. We try to cram in a plethora of experiences in a very short space of time. It shouldn't come [...]
On Saying Yes
Self care is all the rage and, in most articles, memes, and TikTok advice it’s all about saying no to things. That is something that is a challenge for many of us, and saying no is an important skill. That said, so is saying yes. When was the last time you said yes to something? [...]
How to be an Ally During Pride Month and Throughout the Year
The month of June is an important month dedicated to the uplifting of LGBTQ+ voices, a celebration of LGBTQ+ culture and the support of LGBTQ+ rights. PRIDE is an acronym for Personal Rights in Defense and Education. No matter who you love or how you identify, everyone deserves to be safe, valued, equal, and proud. [...]
Sometimes It’s Not Just One Thing That Can Help Us Maintain our Healing
Over the past few years, it has been both a personal and professional observation that the people who have been successful on their mental health wellness path utilize many different coping strategies and coping skills. Often, I think we all sometimes, in one form or another, look for the “quick fix” or the one thing [...]
The Productivity Paradox
How many times have you found yourself with a canceled appointment and you frantically looked for something to do to fill that space? We’ve all been there. Not wanting to waste a single moment of possible productivity. Somewhere along the way we’ve managed to attach our happiness and success to our productivity. This has resulted [...]
Tips on Self-Care
How to add Self-Care to your daily routine. As the saying goes, "an empty tank will take you exactly nowhere. Take time to refuel." Self-care is not selfish so erase that concept from your mind. If anything, it benefits not only you but those who are around you. You cannot properly care for others [...]
No Show or Show Up?
Your First Counseling Session: Trying something new for the first time can cause quite a bit of anxiety. I felt pretty anxious before I went to my first barre class (you know, that trendy exercise fad right now combining Pilates, yoga and ballet?). I imagine this is what it feels like to start therapy for [...]
Where Self-Compassion and Boundaries Intersect
Self-compassion and boundary-setting are two things that I find myself very energized to work with in the therapy space. When I heard Brené Brown speaking about the intersection between these two topics (on a recent episode of Armchair Expert) I knew I wanted to elaborate further. What Do Compassionate People Have In Common? Let’s first [...]
Remember Your Why
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling I was recently inspired by a client who carries a list she created to remind herself why she is committed to her job, even on the very tough days… People enter therapy for many different reasons, and it is truly a process unique to the individual. Addressing challenges and [...]
A Mental Health Take-Away from “March Madness”
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Intensions and Uncertainty If you turn on your television over the next few weeks you can enjoy the physical, emotional, and psychological ride of college athletics through “March Madness.” In the spirit of these student-athletes, let's take a moment to feel into their reality of uncertainty when it comes [...]
Intention setting: a better way to start the day
How often do you hit the snooze on your alarm and rush through your morning routine when you finally get out of bed? Maybe you do get up when your alarm goes off the first time, but you immediately start thinking of the many things on your to-do list for the day. Either way, we [...]
Techniques for Time Management
Do you ever catch yourself saying “I just don’t have time!” or “I wish I had time for that.” Or maybe you notice that despite your best efforts, something keeps slipping through the cracks. Time is tricky. Here are some tips and techniques to help you manage your time better. Pomodoro Technique This is a [...]
What is Social Work Anyway?
When I decided to go back to school later in life to pursue social work, I soon realized how many misconceptions there are around what social workers do. Many people assumed social workers’ only role was doing child protective work, which is no surprise since that is often how social workers are portrayed in the [...]
I Think My Child is Having Mental Health Issues – Now What?
Parenting is not for the faint of heart Parenting a child during their middle and high school years can present unique challenges in normal times. Throw in a global pandemic, social justice reckoning, climate change (insert your kiddo’s stressor) and it certainly doesn’t get any easier. If you are the parent of a tween or [...]
Trusting the Therapy Process
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Therapy is an involved process. The first step being, entering into a therapeutic relationship where you feel seen and heard, as well as open to looking at yourself and life in a deeper way. Some personal challenges are going to take longer to sift through. Some issues, after being addressed, may [...]
Thoughts on Nedra Tawaab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace
You need it. The first time I heard about this book was on Good Morning America. I go through phases where I like to have the morning news on in the background as I drink my coffee and begin working through yesterday’s documentation. This day, Nedra appeared for a few short minutes to speak on [...]
A Message to Men in Need
“To progress again, man must remake himself. And he cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. In order to uncover his true visage, he must shatter his own substance with heavy blows of his hammer.” ~Alexis Carrel, Man, The Unknown Look the reality is; though most of us [...]
Let’s Move Towards Nuance in the New Year
The New Year is symbolic for me. Time may be made-up, but it is a made-up system that rules our lives. And there’s just something nice and fresh feeling about January 1st. I do not expect to turn into Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, but I do believe in moving into a new year [...]
5 Tips for Improved Mindfulness Walking in 2022
IT TOOK A STORM TO HELP ME BE PRESENT! Walking for 50 minutes at the end of each day is routine for me. I lace up, insert my Air Pods, select a playlist, and off I go. I pass dogs on leashes, food delivery people, kids on the playground… I think you get the picture. [...]
The Holidays as an Opportunity to Grow
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling This time of year is as emotionally colorful as the lights we see in store windows. Holidays, like other yearly marked events, offer us an opportunity to look inside our hearts to see where we have arrived as of now. We may find ourselves not just reflecting on ourselves but also [...]
Fears About the Future and Anticipatory Anxiety
Anticipatory anxiety is the worry that creeps in when there are uncertainties about the future. We often become focused on the things we can’t predict or even make sense of. In that space, our minds begin to entertain the negative possibilities and “what ifs”. This type of anxiety can be seen in our everyday lives [...]
Using Your Anxiety as A Trigger for Taking Action
What is to give light must endure burning. Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. ~ Viktor Frankl; Man’s Search for Meaning For many people today, anxiety is typically [...]
Navigating Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season can be a very difficult time for anyone experiencing grief and loss. This may be the first family gathering without a loved one present. It may also be years since the loss of a loved one as the pain connected to grief continues to ebb and flow. The holidays can also be [...]
Grieving the Loss of a Pet
The loss of someone you care deeply for can feel absolutely devastating. The same goes for the death of a cat, dog, or any other pet you may have. The experiences and feelings we have with our pets are unique to our relationship with them. There is no one else that has experienced that relationship [...]
The Value of Exploring Our Experiences Using More Curiosity and Less Judgment
Shifting a judgmental mindset. An essential component in my approach to therapy involves assisting clients to see things clearly, rather than in a biased, judgmental way. Our judging minds typically conceal a wider, more realistic picture of our life experiences, ourselves, and of others. This skewed inaccurate view often results in our emotional suffering in [...]
Break Through Resistance
It happens to all of us. We make a commitment to change, and then, resistance hits. Unexpected barriers, that we don’t know how to deal with, can be one of the biggest reasons that we don’t achieve our goals. Resistance can easily discourage us and give us reasons not to change. For some people, resistance [...]
Spoiler Alert: Comparative Suffering Helps No One
Comparison is the key part of comparative suffering. We try to rank suffering and privilege. Who has more? Who has it better or worse than me? What are they doing that I am not? In an attempt to create a hierarchy of feeling, we are actually impeding empathy and compassion. Comparative suffering can work in two insidious [...]
Sleep Hygiene
Sleep. We love it, we hate it. It can be a source of rest, but also a source of stress. When 50-70 million people in the United States suffer from a diagnosable sleep disorder, it’s clear that it is a prevalent issue. It affects our physical, mental, and emotional health. Just like you brush your [...]
Getting Un-Stuck
Change is scary, but acknowledging that you have the power to choose something different, may be even scarier. We can all at some point in our lives become paralyzed by fear, anxiety, worry, and disappointment. But, to get unstuck we have to choose change; we can't wait for it to happen. We have to get [...]
Common Holiday Relapse Triggers
As we approach the holiday season, there is a shift in the world as we enter what is typically considered a wonderful and joyous time of the year. Unfortunately, amidst all this joy and merriment there can also be increased stress. This stress can stem from the financial burden of giving gifts, entertaining company, or [...]
Understanding HALT – How to Engage in Positive Behaviors
When we are aware of our mental, emotional, and physical states this can lead to us engaging in positive behaviors rather than impulsive behaviors. If we HALT and assess our needs then we are better able to address behaviors before they lead to relapse, whether that is returning to substance use or other behaviors we [...]
Decision Making in a Pandemic: Doing The “Right” Thing
Some of us are more risk-averse than others, and some of us love adventure and trying new things. Risk-taking sounds like a bad thing, but it is really just a fancy way of describing adventurousness and courage. Risk-taking is impacted by a lot of individual factors, like age, life experience, and perception. So those of [...]
Thoughts on Empathy
Recently a friend who was in the process of moving was telling me how stressful it was for her. This led me to reflect on my own stressful experiences with moving. Looking back on how I responded to her, I realize that I became so caught up in my own thoughts that I did not [...]
The Myth About Mindfulness
Mindfulness... it doesn't work. This is a common concern I hear from clients, and it usually includes a recent story about how breathing didn't help calm them down when they were in the midst of a panic attack. Of course it didn't work. Mindfulness is an incredible tool, but it's not the only useful coping [...]
8 Ways to Support College Students at Midterms
If you are a parent who helped your student settle into their college dorm room this past August, these last few months you’ve likely experienced your home to be slightly quieter, your laundry a bit lighter, and family meals somewhat smaller. 8-10 weeks ago, college students returned to campus, filling dorms, classrooms, and dining halls, bringing [...]
Days are Getting Shorter Again: Tips to Circumvent Seasonal Pattern Depression
While fall brings pumpkin patches, apple picking, gorgeous foliage, and cooler weather… it also brings shorter days. The mornings are darker, and the sun starts to set earlier and earlier. While I personally am a big fan of the spooky season and am grateful the humidity and bugs are disappearing, I can also acknowledge that [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
Up to 40% of our mood can be determined by our daily actions. This research finding is good news. It means that we can have a significant impact on improving our mood. If you are looking for some ways to beat a bad mood, try some of the strategies below. Guard your sleep Sleep deprivation [...]
There is No Such Thing as Happiness (As We Commonly Know it)
“There is no such thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, in such a way that no one may isolate them.” ~ Jean Toomer, Cane What is happiness and what does it really mean to find happiness? Is it even possible? I have always found it interesting both in my personal and [...]
Thoughts on Slowing Down when Overwhelmed
As we near the end of summer there is a dampening of the energy that was here earlier in the year. People are experiencing transitions in their lives as they return to working onsite, as they distance, again, and as they experience other changes in their lives including returning to school. With these, there can [...]
Responses to Trauma: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
You’ve likely heard of fight, flight, or freeze as responses to a threat. The fourth option, fawn, is less commonly taught. Also known as The Four Fs of trauma, these are automatic coping mechanisms for actual and/or perceived experiences of an activating, stressful, or traumatic event. Let’s break these terms down even further. Fight If [...]
What are Behavioral Addictions?
Behavioral Addictions, also known as process addictions, exist outside of the world of drug and alcohol use. As defined by the National Institute of Health (NIH), behavioral addiction is a compulsion to continually engage in an activity or behavior despite the negative impact on the person’s ability to remain mentally and/or physically healthy and functional [...]
Stress Management: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is an incredible skill to help manage stress, anxiety, panic, and any unpleasant feeling. It’s also great if you just want to relax! It’s a great way to ground your mind AND your body and can be done anywhere. How It Works You can either find a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise [...]
How to Get Over Fear
We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]
Family Dynamics in Addiction
Addiction does not only affect the person within their addiction it also affects the entire family. In a family, each member has a specific role for the family to function and maintain stability. When there is one person or multiple people in a family who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the family roles [...]
Progress in Therapy: From Stagnation to Mobility
Progress with therapy looks different for everyone. It may look like a reduction in panic attacks and anxiety levels, light after never-ending darkness linked to tragedy and grief, a respite from the clutches of depression, or learning the self-advocacy and communication skills that create peaceful resolutions following years of conflict with a loved one. Progress [...]
Weeds in a Neighbor’s Yard
There is an invasive weed in the neighbor’s yard, and I wanted to say something about it. I even thought of going over there and offering to help pull the weeds but was reminded that it was not for me to pull the weeds in the neighbor’s yard. I will let them continue to work [...]
Reasons to See a Therapist
It’s 2021 and “because you want to” or “because we are still dealing with a global pandemic” should be reason enough. There are all kinds of reasons to seek out help from an expert. Counselors and social workers have gone through several years of schooling, including a master’s program, as well as rigorous training for [...]
A Brief Introduction to Attachment
Let’s face it, humans need to be in close connection with others. We all possess a basic need to form close bonds throughout our lives. This need is so embedded in our biology. We are equipped with a system to manage our relationships with caregivers, partners, and children. This is known as our attachment system. [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]
If You are Searching for Happiness Read This
At the end of every intake, I ask clients what their goals for therapy are. Many of them give an answer indicative of their lifelong quest for happiness. I cannot count the number of times I have heard “to be happier” as a response to that question. If happiness is your ultimate goal, much like [...]
How to Deal with Transition
With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]
No Drama Discipline
Parenting the 'Whole-Brain' way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind Every year when the weather gets warmer, my bookshelf gets a bit fuller. I admit; I am a bit of a nerd and love relaxing with a good book. This month, I am returning to an oldie but goodie. If you [...]
A Different Perspective on Fear
Fear is very pertinent to most people and many of my clients, especially in this day and age. Fear is a great cause of suffering. It stops us from being healthy, prevents us from being successful, keeps us from developing relationships that are helpful, and stops us from being at peace. But at the same [...]
Tips to Prevent Relapse
Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use. Relapse and the Recovery [...]
Connecting On A Bridge
When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]
What To Do If Therapy Stalls
You did it. In the sea of various credentials and types of therapy, you found a therapist that you can trust. Everything was great at first. And then…you hit a plateau. Month after month, you just don’t feel like you are making progress. It can be frustrating to feel like you are putting so much [...]
What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?
When you think of self-care, I’m sure a few different things come to mind. Relaxing, doing yoga, getting a massage, putting on your favorite mud mask until your face is so tight you can’t smile…. Yes, all these things are great. But are they really the basis of what grounds you and makes you feel [...]
Are you a Maximizer or a Satisficer?
There are all kinds of schools of thought, theories of psychology, and personality quizzes boasting to understand us. One you may not have heard of, however, is Herbert A. Simon’s position on decision-making. He received the Nobel Prize in 1978 and is best known for his work as an economist and cognitive psychologist. Earlier in [...]
Using a Client’s Passion or Interest as a Therapeutic Tool
Often as therapists, we can find our clients, and ourselves, for that matter, stuck where we are both connected but some emotion or behavior or techniques are bearing no “fruit”. I often find a change in perspective at what my clients are trying to work through is especially useful. Often this is accomplished by “thinking [...]
Substance Use, Abuse, or Addiction: What’s the difference?
In the world of substance use treatment, there are various terms that can become confusing when one begins treatment or are new on their journey of recovery. One area of confusion is understanding the difference between substance use, abuse, and addiction. When a person can define and fully understand what they are experiencing, it can help them in the process of healing [...]
Emotion Granularity: What Is It and Why It Matters
If you look up the definition of granular, it leaves a lot to be desired. You will find statements like: “composed of grains, containing granules, or resembling small particles.” Maybe imagery will be more helpful here - think about sand or sugar for instance. Then think about what those grains look like under a microscope. [...]
Art-Making and Process
The process of art-making can be multilayered. I am an encaustic artist, which uses wax in the painting process. Painting with wax has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Attending my first encaustic workshop was very stressful for me. There was a lot of self-doubt about my ability to learn this new painting [...]
Three Relationship Myths That Leave Us Unhappy
What is a happy relationship? The answer is simple, right? Two people meet, share interests, fall in love, and live happily ever after. While this relationship template works well for romantic comedies (who doesn’t love a good RomCom?), it rarely leads to a life of bliss with our partner. It is important to consider our [...]
The Difference Between an Anxiety Attack and a Panic Attack
Often used interchangeably, the terms Panic Attack and Anxiety Attack are used to describe intense emotional and physiological distress. Is there a difference? Yes, let’s learn! Differences between Emotional and Physiological Distress: First, let’s discuss how they are similar. Anxiety attacks and panic attacks can result in some of the same symptoms. For example, many [...]
Thoughts on Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is something that many of us struggle with. We are sometimes hard on ourselves as we strive to do better or live up to expectations that we set for ourselves. It can be a heavyweight to carry. Many years ago, I attended a talk on the Dalai Lama’s book How to Be Compassionate. I [...]
Do I Own My Story or Does My Story Own Me?
When it comes to trauma, we as counselors must assess the trauma narrative continuum, which is the degree to which our clients “own” their stories and to what degree the stories “own” our clients. I learned this concept from a one-time supervisor and now mentor and friend. I found it immediately relatable in my own [...]
Connecting with Your Child
When Emotionally Exhausted Last month marked the one-year anniversary of COVID-related social distancing policies, new schedules, new ways of being in the world, and an abrupt goodbye to pre-pandemic life. There has been an upsurge in hitting the “pandemic wall”—our brains are full and tired and our kids are feeling the weight of boredom. New [...]
Conceptualizations
I have noticed in my work with couples and individuals that people often remain in a state of suffering because of their own conceptualizations. We hold on to things like “it is your fault” or “I am right, and you are wrong” type conceptualizations. This way of being keeps us in a place of feeling [...]
Recognizing Transference
Have you ever had an experience where someone reminds you of a person you have known before and you view and interact with them as you did with that person from your past? If so, you may be experiencing transference. Transference Can Be Positive or Negative Transference occurs when a person directs feelings and experiences [...]
Connecting to Recovery Resources
During the Covid-19 Pandemic Prior to the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, 12 Step Meetings, whether the meeting is Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and so on, were usually fairly easy to find. One could find a list of meetings in their area by the day of the week and time on AA.org or NA.org. A person [...]
The Impact of Anxiety and Fear
“Life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is a guide as well as an enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient's awareness and vitality.” ~Irvin [...]
Commonalties in The Therapeutic Process and The Practice of Aikido
A Personal Experience As both Aikido instructor and practitioner, I am often amazed at the commonalities between the practice of Aikido, and the therapeutic process. The objective in Aikido is to join one’s personal ki (energy) with universal ki to achieve harmony (ai). Aikido stresses working with a partner, rather than wrestling or fighting against [...]
The Power of Assertive Communication
One key component of any healthy relationship is communication. And it is important to not just communicate but to communicate effectively. One way to ensure this is done is to use assertive communication techniques. Assertive communication occurs when an individual is able to state their own needs, wants, and feelings directly and confidently, while also [...]
Cultivating Understanding
Like any other useful human trait, understanding must be intentionally cultivated through practice. Understanding does not necessarily mean agreeing with someone. We can have different values than others and respect their point of view. Like any other mindful practice, it must be based on compassion. Compassion for ourselves as well as compassion for others. Compassion is what will allow us to [...]
Three Things to Do for a Life Well Lived
Last year gave all of us the opportunity to tune into what is most important to us as we have wrestled with what it means to navigate our new circumstances and find joy. But what exactly brings us joy? What exactly is a life well-lived, and how can we set ourselves up to be happier [...]
Recovering Perfectionist? Me Too.
I am Type A. I’m an Enneagram 1. I love my planner, fresh sheets, organized spaces, and when I say I have a list for everything… I mean everything. Scheduling and de-cluttering brings me delight. I have been described as rigid, an overachiever, and some other not-so-kind things. And it has taken me a long time to [...]
Communication In The Moment
It is important to have communication in the moment or near the moment. Recently, I talked with a friend about an event that occurred many years ago. I didn’t bring it up at that particular moment, but I realized that I had been holding onto this for a very long time. I remember the event [...]
Key to Success in Setting Intentions
I believe the key to success in setting intentions in any area, at any point in our lives, is consistency. Certainly, adjustments in our process may be necessary. Other than small rudder steers from time to time, we need to practice consistency in any endeavor to achieve success. The best way I have heard this [...]
Three Myths About Emotions
Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question. Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]
Understanding Stress and Anxiety
Contrary to Popular Belief, Stress and Anxiety are Not the Enemies By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor More often than not, stress and anxiety are viewed as dreadful things that we need to eliminate completely. Many of us think something along the lines of “if I had it all together, I wouldn’t feel so stressed [...]
General Observations on The Link Between Clients Managing Their Trauma Background and Navigating a COVID-19 World.
By Bradd Buckingham, Resident in Counseling Since the beginning of COVID-19, I have professionally observed as a counseling intern working in a community mental health clinic, currently as a resident in counseling as well as personally with friends and family, a shift or slide backward in the management of their trauma symptomology and the meaningful [...]
Finding Your Snowflake in this 2020 Blizzard: A Quick Guide to Holiday Grief and Loss
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The holiday season is upon us and life is marching forward, but for some, your minds and your hearts are standing still, grieving the death of a loved one amidst what feels like an incoming storm. Even if the loss is from the past, holiday time [...]
Key Ingredients for Emotional Connectedness in a Relationship
Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert on couple’s emotional connectedness, created the acronym A.R.E. to describe three ingredients that are needed to create healthy, emotionally satisfying relationships. Relationships that embodied accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement tend to have the highest relationship satisfaction and are characterized by high levels of trust and commitment. What exactly is A.R.E.? “A” [...]
What if I feel worse after a therapy session and not better?
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Therapy is hard work. It is rewarding but sometimes it can be overwhelming, sometimes it is frustrating, and sometimes it is sad. The quote “it gets worse before it gets better” seems applicable here. Re-training your brain, healing trauma, and unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms are not simple tasks. And while [...]
You’ve Got This! Three Holistic Steps to Managing Anxiety
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The two most important things to understand about anxiety are that it is universally experienced and that it is holistically managed. You are absolutely not alone in experiencing anxiety, though it can feel that way. Anxiety symptoms can impact our emotional, physical and spiritual health. [...]
Our Mental Shortcuts and Bias’ in Decision-Making
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have found myself coveting more time to read and learn. I have gleaned much from these conversations and trainings and have found them helpful in considering the various ways in which I may openly [...]
How to Take a Break from an Argument: The Right Way
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor The holiday season can be stressful… not to mention, we are amidst a pandemic and coming down from a very tense election season. Although family gatherings may be limited this year, it is likely we will be in more frequent communication with various relatives. If you are in a [...]
Thoughts on Stressful Conversations
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia There are difficult conversations taking place as we experience worry concerning different areas of our lives. A lot has happened during the past six plus months and it has been a stressful time for many of us. I wrote about communication in a previous post [...]
Character Strengths
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Often in our society we are taught or conditioned to look at our weaknesses and constantly try to improve them. This approach can be limiting and make real growth almost impossible in some situations. This often leads to negative self-talk and a lowered self-esteem. I encourage people to instead, [...]
Mentally Preparing for the Holidays
As we near the end of October, it is natural for couples to begin to discuss holiday plans. Holiday planning can be stressful, but this year has the added stress of the pandemic and COVID-19 concerns. Why do the holidays bring up so much stress? The holidays often include a lot of physical and emotional [...]
Couples, COVID, and Cabin Fever
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Back at the beginning of 2020 weren’t we all wishing we could spend more quality time at home with our loved ones or our partners? When true quality time was only able to be squeezed into the weekends or maybe weeknights (if the dishes got put away and the [...]
Worry and Growth
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia I’ve been thinking about the struggles that we have been experiencing during this stay-at-home period. It has been a challenging time and many people are experiencing a lot of worry or fear. I have seen this in the art world, with friends, and hear it [...]
What’s Your “Upside Down” Magic?
This weekend my family watched the movie, “Upside Down Magic,” for movie night. In the movie, a group of young children are deemed misfits because of their “wonky, ” “unorthodox,” and “upside down” magic. When the school gets attacked by “Shadow Magic,” the children must confront the parts of them they once avoided to rediscover [...]
Two Arrows (Emotional Objectivity)
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia There is a Buddhist metaphor that I have found to be a great way to think about emotional objectivity. When something difficult happens in life, as can be expected from time to time, we often internalize how we feel about it subjectively. This is where [...]
Boundaries: How I Can Love You & Me at the Same Time
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor We have all heard the word boundaries. What do you think of when you hear it? Common answers include: a brick wall, a barrier, a way to keep people out, a line drawn in the sand, something that keeps me safe, or a tall privacy fence. These are all great [...]
Keeping It REAL as a Parent!
By Mary Jackson, MSW is a Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern Virginia Parents…this one is for you! Have you ever had one of those days when you feel as if you are going to LOSE IT? Recently I did. It wasn’t just parenting that had me overwhelmed. It was the sum of EVERYTHING. [...]
Cultivating Positive Mental Focus – Part 4
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In everything and everyone we encounter in life there will be aspects we appreciate and aspects we maybe don’t prefer. As we discussed in earlier articles of this series our minds naturally focus on the negative first because this was necessary in some ways for [...]
Art-Making and Mental Health
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Creativity and mental health go hand in hand. I am a visual artist who enjoys painting, working with pottery, and photography. I turned to art-making during a high stress time in my life and it helped me find balance. One of the texts that taught [...]
How to Support Your Black and Brown Friends During This Time
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past few years, you’re likely well aware of the rising tensions concerning the topic of race. It’s in large part due to the hateful and even violent statements/acts we’ve witnessed on the parts of white authoritative [...]
Self-care ideas!
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling If you are anything like me, practicing self-care and self-love can often get placed on the back burner. Also, I am not a proclaimed morning person, so other than those things I NEED to do, I've learned they likely won't get done until I'm [...]
Working with Thoughts – Part 3
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In the first couple of articles in this series we focused on noticing our emotions objectively and learning how to not be reactive to them. This is a constant lifelong practice that we can get better at over time and we should also remember [...]
How the Idea of “Breast is Best” is Hurting Caregivers
When caregivers are first embarking on their parenting journey, one of the primary questions they must often answer is whether they will choose to breastfeed their child. Breastfeeding has been shown to have a variety of benefits. Breastmilk is often discussed as nutritionally superior to formula, providing all of the nutrients necessary for the [...]
When “Fake it til’ you Make it” Doesn’t Work
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Many of us have heard the sentiment “fake it until you make it.” It implies that if you can imitate or pretend to have certain qualities or emotions like happiness, confidence, or competence that you will eventually obtain them genuinely. While this works for some people, it does [...]
Three Tools to Calm a Stressed-Out Family
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia The last three months of 2020 has brought a wave of stress and anxiety for most families. While I share the sentiments of wanting to be whisked away to a secluded beach, our present circumstances allow us to be intentional about [...]
Learning to Notice Emotions Early and Objectively – Part 2
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Emotions are here for a reason and every human will feel the full range of emotions at one point or another in their lives. This is to say that emotions are not something we should be afraid of or try to avoid in any way. We [...]
Positive Impacts of Journaling
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling in Northern Virginia Journaling allows people to clarify their thoughts and feelings, thereby gaining valuable self-knowledge. It's also a good problem-solving tool; oftentimes, one can hash out a problem and come up with solutions more easily on paper. Here are some of the studied positive impacts of [...]
Taking Time to Pause
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia We are in a time of uncertainty where some relationships have been strained due to a variety of stressors. For some it has been a time of thriving in being close to another, while for others it is a challenging time. We are always relating [...]
Working with Our Emotions – Part One
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Rawpixel.com/Adobe Stock Emotions can become overwhelming in the blink of an eye and it can sometimes feel like there is no way to prevent them from feeling insurmountable. It may seem like everywhere you turn someone is doing something that is mean, frustrating or disrespectful. Every [...]
Self-Compassion Break
Photo by Michelle on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia For so many, the recent months have required a bit of flexibility. The pandemic has left many individuals, parents, and families juggling multiple roles. We are all trying to figure things out day by day. In moments of high [...]
How to Make Your Social Media Consumption More Intentional in 2 Steps
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Social media and technology are intertwined in our day-to-day lives. Many of us have built up profiles, sent and accepted hundreds of friend requests, and followed various pages over the last several years. When was the last time you checked in on all those platforms and cleansed the things [...]
Understanding the Teenage Brain
Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia Raising a teenager can be hard. There is so much social, emotional, and neurobiological change happening in such a short amount of time. Many of us can remember, rather vividly, what it felt like during this awkward and [...]
Keeping Your Peace of Mind Amidst the Chaos
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor There is so much going on right now and so much of it is out of our control. This is an unprecedented time and situation. Many of us are faced with trying to figure out what a new normal looks like. The most important thing to remember is there [...]
Navigating Uncharted Waters: COVID-19
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy We are in uncharted territory together as our community braces to contain the impact of COVID-19. Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash As a parent, you have likely had to shape-shift into many forms this week—comforter, fear-slayer, information-gatherer, preparer, and more recently teacher. You have likely [...]
Three Calming Activities
To help anxious children (and you!) that can be done in the home! By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash These activities are great for children and adults to help them practice mindfulness, live in the here and now, and learn to reduce symptoms of anxiety. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: What is [...]
Protect Your Mental Health From the Dark Sides of Social Media
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by William Iven on Unsplash It's easier said than done to detox yourself from social media. It is everywhere and, if you are like most, you have the fear of missing out. But social media has many dark sides and it is in the best interest of your own [...]
Mindful Self Compassion
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash In the last couple of blog articles, we have covered how to begin tuning in to our mental process to begin noticing moment-to-moment what our mind is up to. As we tune into this process, it is likely you will notice some negative self-talk. These negative [...]
The Magic Ratio to a Happy, Healthy Relationship
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash John Gottman, a well-known and well-respected couples researcher, has documented multiple differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Of these differences, healthy relationships, he suggests, have five times more positive interactions than negative interactions. Luckily, this means that we don’t have to [...]
Getting to the Heart of Communication
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash Many couples seek out couples therapy because they are finding communication difficult. In the world of couples interventions, communication skills training and “I” statements are popular. While these skills may provide short-term gains, I often see them failing to provide the [...]