How to Regulate Emotions

Emotions can seem overwhelming and make one feel out of control. At times, they are so intense that you may not know how to respond. In this blog, you will learn how to regulate emotions by recognizing what is happening in the moment while responding in a nonreactive way. The goal of regulating emotions isn’t about getting rid of feelings or pretending they don’t exist. Instead, it’s about learning how to notice, understand, and respond to emotions in a way that feels supportive and intentional.

1. Recognize When You’re Feeling Triggered: The first step in regulating emotions is awareness. Often, emotions show up in the body before we fully recognize them in our thoughts. Begin by noticing physical or emotional cues that signal something is coming up for you. You might notice:
   • Feeling anxious or overwhelmed
   • Sweaty palms
   • A racing heart
   • Tightness in your chest
   • A warm or tense body
2. Name the Feeling: Once you notice you’re triggered, try putting words to what you’re experiencing. This allows a connection between your mind and body. Use this sentence:
   • “I notice that I am feeling _____ because _____.”
     For example: “I notice that I am feeling anxious because I have a lot on my plate today.”
3. Normalize the Experience: Remind yourself that emotions are temporary. They move like waves—rising, peaking, and eventually passing. You are not your emotions, and you do not have to act on every feeling you experience.
   • For example, feeling angry does not mean it’s okay to hurt others—but it does mean you can acknowledge and hold space for feeling upset.
4. Choose a Coping Strategy: Once you’ve recognized, named, and normalized the emotion, give yourself permission to choose how you respond. You are inviting the feeling rather than pushing it away, while also choosing a coping skill that supports you in the moment.
   • Some helpful coping strategies include:
     • Journaling to process thoughts and emotions
     • Going for a walk or doing 15 jumping jacks
     • Using a punching bag or pillow to release physical tension
     • Belly breathing: take three slow breaths from your belly, visualizing the breath traveling from your belly up to your mouth
     • Engaging in hobbies that bring joy or calm
     • Talking to someone—the conversation doesn’t have to be about the problem
     • Guided meditation (YouTube or Spotify)
     • Holding an ice cube or taking a cold shower
     • Drinking a cold glass of water
     • Listening to a favorite song
     • Imagining a calming or happy place, such as kayaking on a warm day

Here is a helpful infographic on how to regulate intense emotions.

Regulating emotions is a skill, not a one-time fix. It takes practice, patience, and selfcompassion. Be gentle with yourself as you learn. Your emotions are not a problem—they are information, and you deserve support as you navigate them.

About Shree Patel: 

With a deep passion for working with 1st and 2nd generation immigrants, BIPOC, and the South Asian community, Shree strives to create a safe, welcoming, and culturally sensitive space for all her clients. She has facilitated group sessions on topics like addressing addiction, building teen self-esteem, and empowering parents to discuss ethnicity and race with their children.   

Her approach to counseling is holistic, recognizing all aspects of a client’s experience rather than focusing solely on presenting concerns. Shree tailors each session to align with her clients’ unique goals and needs, using evidence-based methods such as Motivational Interviewing, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution-Focused Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness. Click HERE to learn more about Shree.