Understanding Big Feelings in Small Bodies
Supporting your child’s emotional communication can feel tricky, especially when big feelings show up in small bodies. Children under 10 are still developing the brain structures and language needed to understand and express what they feel. It’s normal for them to struggle to find the right words or to act out emotions they can’t name just yet. As parents, one of the best gifts we can give is modeling how to talk about emotions openly. Try naming your own feelings out loud. For example, “I feel frustrated because we’re running late”, and using visuals like feeling charts or storybooks that show characters managing emotions. Children love visuals! Over time, these small moments of modeling, empathy, and validation build your child’s emotional vocabulary and confidence.
Teaching Kids to Express Their Needs
Expressing feelings is just as important as learning to express needs. When children can say what they need, whether it’s space, help, or comfort, they’re less likely to become overwhelmed or shut down. You can guide them by teaching the difference between a feeling and a need. For example, “You feel sad because you need a hug”, and by practicing calm, clear communication together (there goes that modeling again!). Encourage “I feel” or “I need” sentence starters, and remind them that asking for help is brave, not weak. Creating routines for calming down, using visuals, or allowing them to make small choices (“do you want ____ or ____”) also helps strengthen their self-advocacy skills.
Partnering With the School for Support
If your child continues to struggle expressing themselves at school, collaboration is key. Meet with teachers or counselors early to share what works at home, such as calm-down strategies, sensory tools, or consistent language. Ask about emotional support programs or social-emotional learning (SEL) groups. When your child sees you partnering with their teachers, it reinforces that their feelings and needs matter both at home and in the classroom. Most of all, remember that emotional communication takes time to develop
A Note to Parents
If your child struggles to open up, it doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong. Emotional communication is a skill that grows with time, trust, and gentle practice. Your steady presence, empathy, and advocacy show your child that their voice matters and that their emotions are safe with you. That’s the foundation for lifelong confidence, connection, and emotional health. You got this!
About Justis Colbert
Justis is a Resident in Counseling who works with children, teens, adults, couples, and families. Her work with children is rooted in empathy, playfulness, and patience. She believes every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and accepted exactly as they are. With adults, couples, and families, she brings the same core values into the room: warmth, honesty, and deep respect for your lived experience. To learn more about Justis, visit HERE.