As a clinician supporting clients in the aftermath of a relationship’s ending, it is oftentimes a delicate and multi-faceted process. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that each client copes with the grief and sadness in a way that is unique to them. Being able to properly assess their unique needs and where they are in the cycle of grief is integral to helping the client gain the needed closure.
No judgment
Oftentimes it is much easier for the client to share their grief within the non-judgmental space of the therapist’s office. What may seem like rumination is really the client’s attempts to make meaning of the connection they once shared.
Elements of Relationship Therapy
Talking about various aspects of the relationship with a licensed clinician can help identify any maladaptive thought patterns and unhealthy coping mechanisms, which may be keeping the client stuck. Activities such as journaling and positive affirmations help clients connect to their own values and hope for the future. As the client is able to rediscover their own values and find new ways to live a value-based life, they are invariably led down a road of rediscovery of self. Here clients can refine the values they want to incorporate into their lives and relationships going forward. This process also reflects unmet needs which may have been sacrificed during the relationship. Clinicians can assist clients in learning how better to identify and communicate those needs.
With the ending of one relationship comes the ending of the hopes and dreams associated with the relationship. This empowers clients to rewrite their narrative from being the victim and seeing the relationship as a failure. They also learn to view the relationship as an important learning experience that reorients them to a much deeper understanding of themselves.
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About Nikki Lemke:
Nikki sees clients who struggle with depression and anxiety, pregnancy and peripartum issues, personality disorders, moods disorders, relationship transitions such as divorce, remarriage, parenting teens, as well as clients pursuing spiritual integration and growth work. I apply a variety of modalities working with my clients such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Gestalt, & Gottman.
Nikki understands that you have an expert view into your own life. As your therapist, her job is to learn about you! How your values, background, experiences, dreams and aspirations shape your perspectives. In session, Nikki holds space for you to examine self-limiting beliefs, out dated value structures and negative self-concepts which have outgrown their usefulness. To learn more about Nikki, visit HERE.
