How are those New Year’s resolutions and goals progressing? I recently came across a statistic revealing that only 25% of people stick with their goals beyond January. Many of my sessions during the winter months center on motivation and behavioral activation, as clients grapple with maintaining momentum.
When it comes to managing time as an adult, many of us fall into the same trap: waiting for motivation to strike. We tell ourselves that we’ll start the new habit when we “feel like it” or when the conditions are “right”. But here’s the harsh truth: relying on motivation is a fallible strategy. Motivation is fleeting, inconsistent, and often absent when we need it most. If you’re waiting for motivation to be the spark that drives consistent action, you’ll likely find yourself stuck in a cycle of starts and stops.
Why Motivation Fails
Motivation is an emotional state, influenced by countless external and internal factors. It’s unpredictable and unsustainable as the sole driver of behavior. Think of it this way: do you wait to “feel motivated” to brush your teeth every day? Probably not. You do it because it’s part of your routine, tied to your values around health and hygiene… or social acceptance. The same principles apply to managing your time and building new habits. Consistency isn’t about feeling inspired; it’s about committing to action regardless of how you feel.
The Hidden Choice: Maintaining Old Habits
If you’re not actively investing in creating and maintaining new habits, you are, by default, investing in maintaining your old ones. This is a critical shift in perspective. Every day, you’re making a choice whether consciously or not. Choosing not to plan your day, not to exercise, or not to prioritize your goals isn’t a passive act; it’s an active decision to reinforce your current patterns.
This mindset shift reframes how we view habit formation. It’s not about being “good” or “bad” at self-discipline; it’s about recognizing that every behavior is an investment. The question isn’t “Am I disciplined enough?” but rather, “What am I choosing to invest in today?”
Trading the Internalized Parent for an Investment Mindset
Many of us approach self-discipline with an internalized “parent” voice; a critical, authoritarian narrative that shames us for slipping up and demands perfection. This mindset is not only unsustainable but also counterproductive. Instead, consider adopting an investment mindset.
Think of your time and energy like a financial portfolio. You wouldn’t expect immediate returns on every investment, and you’d understand that some days the market dips. What matters is the long-term strategy and consistent contributions. Habits work the same way. Some days you’ll be more productive; others, less so. But as long as you keep investing in the habits that align with your values, the overall trajectory will be positive.
The Role of Self-Discipline, Consistency, and Values-Based Action
Building new habits requires more than fleeting bursts of motivation. It demands:
- Self-Discipline: The ability to take action even when you don’t feel like it. It’s not about being harsh with yourself; it’s about following through on commitments because they matter to you.
- Consistency: Small, regular actions compound over time. The goal isn’t perfection but persistence. Missing a day or a week doesn’t mean failure; giving up does.
- Values-Based Action: Habits stick when they are rooted in your core values. When your actions reflect what truly matters to you, they become more meaningful and sustainable.
I’m a huge advocate for rest, slow living, and self-compassion. Don’t mistake this approach for an “all-out, no-matter-what” grind. If you’re under the weather, feeling the weight of depression, or reeling from a conflict with a friend, acknowledge those realities. We are our best selves when we’re flexible yet realistic about what we can manage given the circumstances.
Intentional Living: The True Goal
Time management isn’t about squeezing more into your day or finding the perfect productivity hack. It’s about intentional living. Recognize that every choice you make is an investment, and every action you take reflects your values. Motivation might get you started, but self-discipline, consistency, and a values-based approach will carry you forward. And you may just find that motivation shows up as you build a lifestyle that supports your optimal self.
**
About Jasmine Payne:
Jasmine is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). She provides services via telehealth and on select days in-person at the Fredericksburg location. She is a two-time graduate of Longwood University, receiving her B.S. in Psychology followed by an M.S. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.
Throughout her professional career, Jasmine has worked with clients who belong to various minority and multicultural populations. Her passion lies in assisting clients through life transitions, conquering anxiety, and finding meaning in their life. She also works with couples and enjoys teaching partners how to use alternative methods of communication and facilitating effective conflict management. Currently, she holds her Level I and II Gottman Training Certifications for Couple’s Counseling. To learn more about Jasmine, visit HERE.