Every summer seems to teach me something different. This year, the lesson has been about rest, recovery, and the incredible impact they have on our nervous systems.
The title of this month’s blog might surprise people who know me.
Unlike many high achievers, I have never really bought into the idea that rest is lazy. In fact, I have spent years intentionally teaching my children the exact opposite. I often talk about the “oxygen mask theory.” On an airplane, you are instructed to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. Not because you are selfish, but because you are no good to anyone if you cannot breathe.
The same principle applies to life.
Rest is not a reward for working hard enough. Rest is not something we earn after we have crossed every item off the to-do list. Rest is a fundamental human need that allows us to keep showing up for the people we love and serve.
As a therapist, leader, wife, and mom, I have always believed that recovery is part of the process. I schedule vacations. I take breaks. I encourage my team to do the same. I model for my children that downtime is not something to feel guilty about. It is part of being healthy.
This summer, however, tested that philosophy in a way I did not anticipate.
My daughter underwent significant eye surgery and entered a recovery period that lasted several weeks. The recovery requirements were extensive. No physical activity. No swimming. No sports. No playgrounds. Around-the-clock medications. Frequent follow-up appointments. Constant monitoring.
As a mom, there is no way to completely turn off the part of your brain that is watching over your child.
Even when everything is progressing exactly as the doctors hoped, your nervous system remains on alert. You listen differently. You sleep differently. You pay attention to things you might not normally notice. There is a level of vigilance that becomes part of the daily rhythm.
What became clear during this season is that having healthy beliefs about rest and actually prioritizing nervous system recovery when life gets stressful are two different things.
I found myself returning to practices I know well.
Taking my morning coffee in my favorite spot in the house before diving into emails and listening to a podcast instead of immediately reaching for my phone.
Reading because I enjoy it, not because it is productive.
Allowing myself an afternoon break without feeling the need to be accomplishing something every minute.
Stepping away from work when my body was telling me I needed a pause.
Creating small moments of recovery even in the middle of a demanding season.
None of these activities are revolutionary. In fact, they are often the same practices I encourage my children to embrace. Resting, slowing down, and simply being are not signs of laziness. They are essential ingredients for a healthy and regulated life.
One of the things we talk about often in mental health is nervous system regulation. Our bodies were designed to respond to stress. The challenge comes when we stay activated for too long without allowing ourselves opportunities to return to a place of safety and restoration.
Many of us can recognize when we are physically tired. Fewer of us recognize when our nervous systems are tired.
- You may notice it as irritability.
- Difficulty concentrating.
- Feeling emotionally reactive.
- Trouble sleeping.
- A sense that even small problems suddenly feel overwhelming.
- When that happens, the answer is rarely to push harder.
- The answer is often to create space for recovery.
- Summer naturally offers an opportunity to do just that.
The longer days, family vacations, slower schedules, and time outdoors create natural invitations for restoration. Yet many of us resist them. We fill every open hour. We stay constantly connected. We tell ourselves we will rest later.
As helping professionals, this can be particularly difficult. We are caregivers by nature. We are problem-solvers. We hold space for others every day.
The danger is that we become so focused on caring for everyone else that we forget the oxygen mask principle applies to us, too.
The truth is that our clients need regulated therapists.
Our teams need regulated leaders.
Our families need regulated parents and partners.
And we deserve to be regulated humans.
That does not happen accidentally. It happens through intentional choices that support recovery, restoration, and rest.
This summer has certainly not looked the way I planned. Like many parents navigating a child’s medical journey, there have been moments of stress, worry, and uncertainty. But it has also been a powerful reminder that even when life is demanding, rest remains essential.
- Not because we earned it.
- Not because we finished everything.
- But because our minds, bodies, and nervous systems require it.
So if there is one thing I hope you remember this month, it is this:
- Rest is not the absence of productivity.
- Rest is what makes sustainable productivity possible.
- Take the vacation.
- Read the book.
- Sit on the porch.
- Go for the walk.
- Take the nap.
- Protect your peace.
- Put on your oxygen mask first.
The people you love will be better for it, and so will you.
With gratitude,
Alycia Burant
Founder & Chief Visionary Officer