“There is no such thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, in such a way that no one may isolate them.” ~ Jean Toomer, Cane What is happiness and what does it really mean to find happiness? Is it even possible? I have always found it interesting both in my personal and [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 2)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. Here are 10 additional mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find more peace [...]
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are very serious mental health conditions with physical ramifications. There are a lot of false narratives spread throughout society. Eating disorders affect about 30 million Americans at some point in their lives. Many factors can lead to an eating disorder such as environmental influences, genetic influences, and trauma influences. Dr. Deitz has worked [...]
Therapy: A Last Resort?
When thinking about going to therapy, we often feel like it’s a last-resort option. After we have tried to figure things out for ourselves, talked with family or friends, or even tried Google or YouTube, it’s only THEN that we think about reaching out to a professional. Only if the problems we are facing seem [...]
Thoughts on Slowing Down when Overwhelmed
As we near the end of summer there is a dampening of the energy that was here earlier in the year. People are experiencing transitions in their lives as they return to working onsite, as they distance, again, and as they experience other changes in their lives including returning to school. With these, there can [...]
Responses to Trauma: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
You’ve likely heard of fight, flight, or freeze as responses to a threat. The fourth option, fawn, is less commonly taught. Also known as The Four Fs of trauma, these are automatic coping mechanisms for actual and/or perceived experiences of an activating, stressful, or traumatic event. Let’s break these terms down even further. Fight If [...]
Misconceptions About Therapy
It is not uncommon to have some people’s first appointments with me go a little like this: “I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t think I really need therapy but my (mom, dad, sibling, friend) suggested it so I figured, why not?” When I ask them why they think they do not need [...]
What are Behavioral Addictions?
Behavioral Addictions, also known as process addictions, exist outside of the world of drug and alcohol use. As defined by the National Institute of Health (NIH), behavioral addiction is a compulsion to continually engage in an activity or behavior despite the negative impact on the person’s ability to remain mentally and/or physically healthy and functional [...]
Stress Management: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is an incredible skill to help manage stress, anxiety, panic, and any unpleasant feeling. It’s also great if you just want to relax! It’s a great way to ground your mind AND your body and can be done anywhere. How It Works You can either find a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise [...]
How to Get Over Fear
We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]
Family Dynamics in Addiction
Addiction does not only affect the person within their addiction it also affects the entire family. In a family, each member has a specific role for the family to function and maintain stability. When there is one person or multiple people in a family who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the family roles [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 1)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. 10 Mindfulness Exercises Here are 10 mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find [...]
Progress in Therapy: From Stagnation to Mobility
Progress with therapy looks different for everyone. It may look like a reduction in panic attacks and anxiety levels, light after never-ending darkness linked to tragedy and grief, a respite from the clutches of depression, or learning the self-advocacy and communication skills that create peaceful resolutions following years of conflict with a loved one. Progress [...]
Tips for Social Anxiety
Living in a digital world definitely has its pros and cons. Studies show people prefer texting to calling these days and people are leaning more towards online dating than going out to meet people. Many of us have been working from our homes and now are having to return to the office. Social anxiety has [...]
Reasons Your Child May Need To See A Therapist
As a parent, you want the best for your child. If your child breaks his/her leg, you go to the hospital right away. But if your child is expressing anxiety or seems depressed, many parents aren’t sure what to do. Children go through difficult periods where they need help, support or someone to listen, just [...]
Weeds in a Neighbor’s Yard
There is an invasive weed in the neighbor’s yard, and I wanted to say something about it. I even thought of going over there and offering to help pull the weeds but was reminded that it was not for me to pull the weeds in the neighbor’s yard. I will let them continue to work [...]
Focus on The Chips, Not The Air – Shifting Your Mindset
We have all been there, in a line at the grocery store or sandwich shop with a tasty bag of chips in our hand. Maybe sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, barbecue, or even just a classic kettle-cooked! Imagine your taste buds starting to tingle as you anticipate being able to open up that [...]
Reasons to See a Therapist
It’s 2021 and “because you want to” or “because we are still dealing with a global pandemic” should be reason enough. There are all kinds of reasons to seek out help from an expert. Counselors and social workers have gone through several years of schooling, including a master’s program, as well as rigorous training for [...]
A Brief Introduction to Attachment
Let’s face it, humans need to be in close connection with others. We all possess a basic need to form close bonds throughout our lives. This need is so embedded in our biology. We are equipped with a system to manage our relationships with caregivers, partners, and children. This is known as our attachment system. [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]
If You are Searching for Happiness Read This
At the end of every intake, I ask clients what their goals for therapy are. Many of them give an answer indicative of their lifelong quest for happiness. I cannot count the number of times I have heard “to be happier” as a response to that question. If happiness is your ultimate goal, much like [...]
What Changes After Trauma
While not everyone has experienced a life-altering traumatic experience that would be defined as a “big T” trauma, almost all of us can look back throughout our lives and point to instances of how the “little t” traumas, the everyday distressing events or stressors, have affected us and shaped how we are currently interacting with [...]
How to Deal with Transition
With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]
No Drama Discipline
Parenting the 'Whole-Brain' way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind Every year when the weather gets warmer, my bookshelf gets a bit fuller. I admit; I am a bit of a nerd and love relaxing with a good book. This month, I am returning to an oldie but goodie. If you [...]
Can’t Stop Ruminating? Let’s Talk About WHAT You Can Do
I have quite a few clients come to me who have trouble with rumination. Something negative happened in the past, maybe it was yesterday or maybe it was a few years ago. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we cannot stop thinking about certain things. Common questions we ask ourselves when ruminating are “Why [...]
A Different Perspective on Fear
Fear is very pertinent to most people and many of my clients, especially in this day and age. Fear is a great cause of suffering. It stops us from being healthy, prevents us from being successful, keeps us from developing relationships that are helpful, and stops us from being at peace. But at the same [...]
Hyperfocus and the ADHD Brain
Intense Focus in Kids and Adults A common symptom of ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) in children and adults is the inability to focus on a task at hand. Those who have ADHD are easily distracted and have a hard time giving sustained attention to a specific task, activity or chore. A lesser-known, and more controversial, symptom [...]
Tips to Prevent Relapse
Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use. Relapse and the Recovery [...]
Connecting On A Bridge
When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]
Spiral Grounding Technique
The Spiral Technique is really great for when a disturbing thought or memory seems to keep coming up for you in daily life. It is a technique that helps to take the focus off of the disturbance and the sensations that come up in your body when you think of this event. Here is how [...]
What To Do If Therapy Stalls
You did it. In the sea of various credentials and types of therapy, you found a therapist that you can trust. Everything was great at first. And then…you hit a plateau. Month after month, you just don’t feel like you are making progress. It can be frustrating to feel like you are putting so much [...]
Starting Therapy—A Profound Act of Self-Care
Therapy is not just for dealing with a crisis. It can be beneficial for anyone dealing with mental health challenges, experiencing high levels of stress or who simply wants to gain more knowledge and awareness. Therapy can be a great place to learn and practice new skills as people take on changes and stressors associated [...]
What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?
When you think of self-care, I’m sure a few different things come to mind. Relaxing, doing yoga, getting a massage, putting on your favorite mud mask until your face is so tight you can’t smile…. Yes, all these things are great. But are they really the basis of what grounds you and makes you feel [...]
Are you a Maximizer or a Satisficer?
There are all kinds of schools of thought, theories of psychology, and personality quizzes boasting to understand us. One you may not have heard of, however, is Herbert A. Simon’s position on decision-making. He received the Nobel Prize in 1978 and is best known for his work as an economist and cognitive psychologist. Earlier in [...]
Using a Client’s Passion or Interest as a Therapeutic Tool
Often as therapists, we can find our clients, and ourselves, for that matter, stuck where we are both connected but some emotion or behavior or techniques are bearing no “fruit”. I often find a change in perspective at what my clients are trying to work through is especially useful. Often this is accomplished by “thinking [...]
Substance Use, Abuse, or Addiction: What’s the difference?
In the world of substance use treatment, there are various terms that can become confusing when one begins treatment or are new on their journey of recovery. One area of confusion is understanding the difference between substance use, abuse, and addiction. When a person can define and fully understand what they are experiencing, it can help them in the process of healing [...]
The Importance of Hobbies on our Mental Health
We all know that life can be hectic, especially recently due to the pandemic. We may be working all day, coming home to care for children, running errands, and getting work done around the house. When we do finally get some downtime, many of us resort to laying on the couch and scrolling through our [...]
Emotion Granularity: What Is It and Why It Matters
If you look up the definition of granular, it leaves a lot to be desired. You will find statements like: “composed of grains, containing granules, or resembling small particles.” Maybe imagery will be more helpful here - think about sand or sugar for instance. Then think about what those grains look like under a microscope. [...]
Art-Making and Process
The process of art-making can be multilayered. I am an encaustic artist, which uses wax in the painting process. Painting with wax has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Attending my first encaustic workshop was very stressful for me. There was a lot of self-doubt about my ability to learn this new painting [...]
Three Relationship Myths That Leave Us Unhappy
What is a happy relationship? The answer is simple, right? Two people meet, share interests, fall in love, and live happily ever after. While this relationship template works well for romantic comedies (who doesn’t love a good RomCom?), it rarely leads to a life of bliss with our partner. It is important to consider our [...]
The Difference Between an Anxiety Attack and a Panic Attack
Often used interchangeably, the terms Panic Attack and Anxiety Attack are used to describe intense emotional and physiological distress. Is there a difference? Yes, let’s learn! Differences between Emotional and Physiological Distress: First, let’s discuss how they are similar. Anxiety attacks and panic attacks can result in some of the same symptoms. For example, many [...]
Thoughts on Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is something that many of us struggle with. We are sometimes hard on ourselves as we strive to do better or live up to expectations that we set for ourselves. It can be a heavyweight to carry. Many years ago, I attended a talk on the Dalai Lama’s book How to Be Compassionate. I [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 2
In the second part of this post, we are going to review the target symptoms of low motivation and then address what actions you can take in order to combat them. It may be difficult at first to get the hang of these methods, however with practice and consistency you will be up and going [...]
“Pretzel Breathing Technique” for Children
Sometimes we tend to tell our children to calm down without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Today’s technique I want to share with you all is a good exercise for kids to experience calmness and reduce anxiety. This technique, called the “Pretzel Breathing Technique,” is a quick [...]
Do I Own My Story or Does My Story Own Me?
When it comes to trauma, we as counselors must assess the trauma narrative continuum, which is the degree to which our clients “own” their stories and to what degree the stories “own” our clients. I learned this concept from a one-time supervisor and now mentor and friend. I found it immediately relatable in my own [...]
The 8 Phases of EMDR
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is an incredibly useful technique that was originally developed for the treatment of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Since its inception, research has been done that has shown EMDR to be an effective treatment option for multiple mental health issues such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and more! As EMDR [...]
Connecting with Your Child
When Emotionally Exhausted Last month marked the one-year anniversary of COVID-related social distancing policies, new schedules, new ways of being in the world, and an abrupt goodbye to pre-pandemic life. There has been an upsurge in hitting the “pandemic wall”—our brains are full and tired and our kids are feeling the weight of boredom. New [...]
Conceptualizations
I have noticed in my work with couples and individuals that people often remain in a state of suffering because of their own conceptualizations. We hold on to things like “it is your fault” or “I am right, and you are wrong” type conceptualizations. This way of being keeps us in a place of feeling [...]
Recognizing Transference
Have you ever had an experience where someone reminds you of a person you have known before and you view and interact with them as you did with that person from your past? If so, you may be experiencing transference. Transference Can Be Positive or Negative Transference occurs when a person directs feelings and experiences [...]
10 Ways ‘Anxiety Pain’ Manifests And How To Deal With Them
Anxiety doesn’t just happen in our heads—it can actually live in our bodies. Those that experience anxiety may be very well familiar with this. However, for some, it might come as a surprise just how much of a physical effect anxiety can have on the body. Learning and recognizing the physical symptoms of anxiety can [...]
Connecting to Recovery Resources
During the Covid-19 Pandemic Prior to the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, 12 Step Meetings, whether the meeting is Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and so on, were usually fairly easy to find. One could find a list of meetings in their area by the day of the week and time on AA.org or NA.org. A person [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 1
I see many clients who battle with a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation can range from struggling to keep up with daily chores, to feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning. If you are feeling unmotivated to engage in activities you used to enjoy, this can be concerning to some people. Feeling [...]
The Impact of Anxiety and Fear
“Life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is a guide as well as an enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient's awareness and vitality.” ~Irvin [...]
Commonalties in The Therapeutic Process and The Practice of Aikido
A Personal Experience As both Aikido instructor and practitioner, I am often amazed at the commonalities between the practice of Aikido, and the therapeutic process. The objective in Aikido is to join one’s personal ki (energy) with universal ki to achieve harmony (ai). Aikido stresses working with a partner, rather than wrestling or fighting against [...]
How The Past Changes Present Perception and EMDR Therapy
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapeutic technique geared towards the treatment of trauma or disturbing events. The technique works to target specific events that are remembered as distressing and take the emotional response to these events out of the memory. Doing so can often help to stop triggering experiences, flashbacks, and [...]
The Power of Assertive Communication
One key component of any healthy relationship is communication. And it is important to not just communicate but to communicate effectively. One way to ensure this is done is to use assertive communication techniques. Assertive communication occurs when an individual is able to state their own needs, wants, and feelings directly and confidently, while also [...]
Cultivating Understanding
Like any other useful human trait, understanding must be intentionally cultivated through practice. Understanding does not necessarily mean agreeing with someone. We can have different values than others and respect their point of view. Like any other mindful practice, it must be based on compassion. Compassion for ourselves as well as compassion for others. Compassion is what will allow us to [...]
We Must Talk About The Asian American Story
Have you heard of or seen the viral video of the 91-year-old man being shoved, on camera, in Oakland’s Chinatown? Or the 84-year-old Thai American man who was killed in an unprovoked attack in San Francisco? What about the 64-year-old Vietnamese American woman who was assaulted in broad daylight in San Jose, and robbed of [...]
Three Things to Do for a Life Well Lived
Last year gave all of us the opportunity to tune into what is most important to us as we have wrestled with what it means to navigate our new circumstances and find joy. But what exactly brings us joy? What exactly is a life well-lived, and how can we set ourselves up to be happier [...]
Recovering Perfectionist? Me Too.
I am Type A. I’m an Enneagram 1. I love my planner, fresh sheets, organized spaces, and when I say I have a list for everything… I mean everything. Scheduling and de-cluttering brings me delight. I have been described as rigid, an overachiever, and some other not-so-kind things. And it has taken me a long time to [...]
What is Unconditional Love, Really?
Years ago, I bought my best friend a very expensive gift, despite things being tight financially for me. I did this because I adored this friend. She truly wanted this gift. It meant a lot to her and I wanted more than anything to make her happy. I wanted her to know how important she [...]
Communication In The Moment
It is important to have communication in the moment or near the moment. Recently, I talked with a friend about an event that occurred many years ago. I didn’t bring it up at that particular moment, but I realized that I had been holding onto this for a very long time. I remember the event [...]
Managing the Post Holiday Blues
We’ve all been there…the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over and the post-holiday blues can tend to set in. All the gifts have been opened, friends and family have left town and we must settle back into our daily routines. The cold and dark months of January and February can cause us to [...]
Key to Success in Setting Intentions
I believe the key to success in setting intentions in any area, at any point in our lives, is consistency. Certainly, adjustments in our process may be necessary. Other than small rudder steers from time to time, we need to practice consistency in any endeavor to achieve success. The best way I have heard this [...]
What is Post-Traumatic Growth?
Trauma can be life-changing, leading to a distorted worldview, a sense of betrayal, and an inability to feel safe. Trauma plays a role in the development of mental disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). On the other hand, post-traumatic growth (PTG) indicates the experience of finding new meaning. It can also create a deeper sense [...]
Three Myths About Emotions
Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question. Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]
What Is Your Window of Tolerance?
Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia You are gearing up for a test at school, a performance review, a presentation at work, or a few days home with your kids for a long weekend. These stressful events are often times manageable for us on a day-to-day basis. These kinds of stress-inducing events [...]
Mental Health Check-in: How are YOU, really?
Mental Health Check: An Open Letter from HMT Founder & Therapist, Alycia Burant Dear Healthy Minds Family, I hope as you read this, you are in good health. I recognize your hearts and minds may continue to be filled with fear, worry, and sadness. To be honest, I am still digesting and processing the events [...]
Understanding Stress and Anxiety
Contrary to Popular Belief, Stress and Anxiety are Not the Enemies By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor More often than not, stress and anxiety are viewed as dreadful things that we need to eliminate completely. Many of us think something along the lines of “if I had it all together, I wouldn’t feel so stressed [...]
General Observations on The Link Between Clients Managing Their Trauma Background and Navigating a COVID-19 World.
By Bradd Buckingham, Resident in Counseling Since the beginning of COVID-19, I have professionally observed as a counseling intern working in a community mental health clinic, currently as a resident in counseling as well as personally with friends and family, a shift or slide backward in the management of their trauma symptomology and the meaningful [...]
What does Trauma mean?
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In my work with clients, I often notice a hesitancy to admit or acknowledge that events in their lives have been traumatic. Due to the news or social media, we are trained or accustomed to think of trauma only as being big events that capture [...]
Depression During A Pandemic: Coping Skills To Combat The Blues
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Depression saps a person’s energy to do just about anything. As a result, people tend to become less active, which causes the depression to worsen. This has been the case for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Some behavioral activation may be beneficial to help stop [...]
Efficient Problem Solving
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Patients frequently come to me for advice when they encounter a problem and do not know what to do, where to go next or how to address the problem. We are usually able to work together to dissect the issue and make a plan [...]
Finding Your Snowflake in this 2020 Blizzard: A Quick Guide to Holiday Grief and Loss
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The holiday season is upon us and life is marching forward, but for some, your minds and your hearts are standing still, grieving the death of a loved one amidst what feels like an incoming storm. Even if the loss is from the past, holiday time [...]
Key Ingredients for Emotional Connectedness in a Relationship
Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert on couple’s emotional connectedness, created the acronym A.R.E. to describe three ingredients that are needed to create healthy, emotionally satisfying relationships. Relationships that embodied accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement tend to have the highest relationship satisfaction and are characterized by high levels of trust and commitment. What exactly is A.R.E.? “A” [...]
What if I feel worse after a therapy session and not better?
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Therapy is hard work. It is rewarding but sometimes it can be overwhelming, sometimes it is frustrating, and sometimes it is sad. The quote “it gets worse before it gets better” seems applicable here. Re-training your brain, healing trauma, and unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms are not simple tasks. And while [...]
You’ve Got This! Three Holistic Steps to Managing Anxiety
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The two most important things to understand about anxiety are that it is universally experienced and that it is holistically managed. You are absolutely not alone in experiencing anxiety, though it can feel that way. Anxiety symptoms can impact our emotional, physical and spiritual health. [...]
Our Mental Shortcuts and Bias’ in Decision-Making
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have found myself coveting more time to read and learn. I have gleaned much from these conversations and trainings and have found them helpful in considering the various ways in which I may openly [...]
Staying Connected with Family During Covid
This pandemic has been hard! In many, unprecedented ways, we are all trying to figure out how to cope and manage the stress of the coronavirus shutdowns, restrictions, and isolation. For a lot of us, it has been especially difficult in the lead-up to holidays, knowing that it may be the first time in our lives [...]
How to Take a Break from an Argument: The Right Way
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor The holiday season can be stressful… not to mention, we are amidst a pandemic and coming down from a very tense election season. Although family gatherings may be limited this year, it is likely we will be in more frequent communication with various relatives. If you are in a [...]
10 Ways To Elevate Mood During A Pandemic
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia We are well under eight months into the current COVID-19 pandemic that started back in early March. For some, the pandemic has been the perfect opportunity for rest, reconnecting with those we lost touch with and completing tasks we’ve been putting off for some time now. [...]
Thoughts on Stressful Conversations
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia There are difficult conversations taking place as we experience worry concerning different areas of our lives. A lot has happened during the past six plus months and it has been a stressful time for many of us. I wrote about communication in a previous post [...]
Character Strengths
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Often in our society we are taught or conditioned to look at our weaknesses and constantly try to improve them. This approach can be limiting and make real growth almost impossible in some situations. This often leads to negative self-talk and a lowered self-esteem. I encourage people to instead, [...]
Mentally Preparing for the Holidays
As we near the end of October, it is natural for couples to begin to discuss holiday plans. Holiday planning can be stressful, but this year has the added stress of the pandemic and COVID-19 concerns. Why do the holidays bring up so much stress? The holidays often include a lot of physical and emotional [...]
Couples, COVID, and Cabin Fever
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Back at the beginning of 2020 weren’t we all wishing we could spend more quality time at home with our loved ones or our partners? When true quality time was only able to be squeezed into the weekends or maybe weeknights (if the dishes got put away and the [...]
5 Ways To Create And Preserve Healthier Boundaries
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling For many of us, building boundaries is a relatively new and challenging concept. Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and a healthy life. Creating and preserving boundaries is a skill that not many of us learn. Here are five ways to build better boundaries and maintain them: Tune into [...]
EMDR and You
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Throughout our lives, we sometimes experience disturbing or distressing events. These events, which can be called traumas, can occur in the form of a big, life altering event (a “Big T” Trauma) such as a natural disaster or the death of a loved one, or [...]
Worry and Growth
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia I’ve been thinking about the struggles that we have been experiencing during this stay-at-home period. It has been a challenging time and many people are experiencing a lot of worry or fear. I have seen this in the art world, with friends, and hear it [...]
Remembering why we love each other
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Frequently I have clients come in stating that “nothing is particularly wrong” in their relationship or in their marriage, but lately the spark is not there any longer, arguments occur more often and easily and the arguments seem trivial. Both individuals just seem more [...]
Box Breathing Exercise
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia We are headed towards fall weather! While some may be excited by the change of seasons, others may be worried about what the colder weather might mean for their ability to use calming techniques like being outside or going on a walk. As we transition [...]
What’s Your “Upside Down” Magic?
This weekend my family watched the movie, “Upside Down Magic,” for movie night. In the movie, a group of young children are deemed misfits because of their “wonky, ” “unorthodox,” and “upside down” magic. When the school gets attacked by “Shadow Magic,” the children must confront the parts of them they once avoided to rediscover [...]
Two Arrows (Emotional Objectivity)
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia There is a Buddhist metaphor that I have found to be a great way to think about emotional objectivity. When something difficult happens in life, as can be expected from time to time, we often internalize how we feel about it subjectively. This is where [...]
Taking the Time to Talk with Your Anxious Child
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Are you noticing that your young child has recently become more afraid of things, developed phobias they did not have before or is running to you with every small issue they come across? Maybe your child has suddenly become terrified of thunder or catastrophizes [...]
Virtual Learning And Its Effects On Your Child’s Mental Health
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling The new school year has just begun for many students in numerous districts and it’s looking quite different from previous years. Instead of returning to the classroom, students have been staying home and doing distance and virtual learning to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Many kids have been met [...]
Boundaries: How I Can Love You & Me at the Same Time
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor We have all heard the word boundaries. What do you think of when you hear it? Common answers include: a brick wall, a barrier, a way to keep people out, a line drawn in the sand, something that keeps me safe, or a tall privacy fence. These are all great [...]
Keeping It REAL as a Parent!
By Mary Jackson, MSW is a Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern Virginia Parents…this one is for you! Have you ever had one of those days when you feel as if you are going to LOSE IT? Recently I did. It wasn’t just parenting that had me overwhelmed. It was the sum of EVERYTHING. [...]
Find Your Calm or Safe Place – A Relaxation Technique
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia This time of the year is rife with transitions, which can be stressful for everyone. Especially with the pandemic continuing, we are under a lot of pressure as the new school year begins and children start classes online or adults try to figure out childcare. [...]
Cultivating Positive Mental Focus – Part 4
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In everything and everyone we encounter in life there will be aspects we appreciate and aspects we maybe don’t prefer. As we discussed in earlier articles of this series our minds naturally focus on the negative first because this was necessary in some ways for [...]
Strategies for Good Communication
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Why do you need good communication? To put it simply, good communication can make or break any kind of relationship. Whether it's in business, with a friend, a family member or a significant other. Communication is vital for conveying feelings, giving instructions, and building [...]
Repressed Memories: Are They Real and How Do We Recover Them?
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling When we recall memories from our past, some might elicit feelings of happiness and others might involve less pleasant emotions. We are able to consciously conjure up these memories and remember the feelings associated with them. Sometimes, we make a conscious effort to avoid thinking about these memories because [...]
Art-Making and Mental Health
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Creativity and mental health go hand in hand. I am a visual artist who enjoys painting, working with pottery, and photography. I turned to art-making during a high stress time in my life and it helped me find balance. One of the texts that taught [...]
How to Support Your Black and Brown Friends During This Time
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past few years, you’re likely well aware of the rising tensions concerning the topic of race. It’s in large part due to the hateful and even violent statements/acts we’ve witnessed on the parts of white authoritative [...]
Self-care ideas!
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling If you are anything like me, practicing self-care and self-love can often get placed on the back burner. Also, I am not a proclaimed morning person, so other than those things I NEED to do, I've learned they likely won't get done until I'm [...]
Working with Thoughts – Part 3
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In the first couple of articles in this series we focused on noticing our emotions objectively and learning how to not be reactive to them. This is a constant lifelong practice that we can get better at over time and we should also remember [...]
Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality
When Body Positivity Seems Impossible, Aim for Body Neutrality By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia The idea that a woman’s body should look a certain way has been reinforced through social media, movies, magazines and even our parents. This concept doesn’t only apply to women, but men as well. Societal standards have [...]
How the Idea of “Breast is Best” is Hurting Caregivers
When caregivers are first embarking on their parenting journey, one of the primary questions they must often answer is whether they will choose to breastfeed their child. Breastfeeding has been shown to have a variety of benefits. Breastmilk is often discussed as nutritionally superior to formula, providing all of the nutrients necessary for the [...]
Attitude of Gratitude: Finding Light in the Darkness of Pandemic
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia The past few months have been really hard. Starting with the onset of the Coronavirus in March, there has been a lot of darkness that we as a society have had to deal with! There has been so much focus on self-preservation and making [...]
When “Fake it til’ you Make it” Doesn’t Work
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Many of us have heard the sentiment “fake it until you make it.” It implies that if you can imitate or pretend to have certain qualities or emotions like happiness, confidence, or competence that you will eventually obtain them genuinely. While this works for some people, it does [...]
Challenging Your Negative Thoughts
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA During this uncertain time we all may be more prone to depression, anxiety and poor self-esteem. Irrational negative thoughts could be the culprit! Since many of us are stuck at home, social media use has been on the rise. We may accomplish one thing, feel good [...]
Socially Distanced Stress Management for Kids (Grown-Ups, too!) for the Summer
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia During the summer, the strain on family relationships can increase with kids home from school and around the house all day. Especially coming off of a spring of distance learning, this phenomenon may have already happened to some families! Here is a quick activity that [...]
Helping Children Deal With Their Feelings
By Grace Kim, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia The relationship between each parent and child is a very personal and private matter. Learning effective communication skills can change the way parents treat their children. Firstly, it is important to help children deal with their feelings. In order to do this, recognize that there is [...]
Three Tools to Calm a Stressed-Out Family
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia The last three months of 2020 has brought a wave of stress and anxiety for most families. While I share the sentiments of wanting to be whisked away to a secluded beach, our present circumstances allow us to be intentional about [...]
Learning to Notice Emotions Early and Objectively – Part 2
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Emotions are here for a reason and every human will feel the full range of emotions at one point or another in their lives. This is to say that emotions are not something we should be afraid of or try to avoid in any way. We [...]
Positive Impacts of Journaling
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling in Northern Virginia Journaling allows people to clarify their thoughts and feelings, thereby gaining valuable self-knowledge. It's also a good problem-solving tool; oftentimes, one can hash out a problem and come up with solutions more easily on paper. Here are some of the studied positive impacts of [...]
An Open Letter from Alycia
Dear Healthy Minds Family, I sincerely hope as you read this email, you are in good health. I recognize your hearts and minds may be filled with fear and worry. As the world continues to change around us, I still walk alongside of you. The events going on around all of us are heartbreaking and [...]
Taking Time to Pause
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia We are in a time of uncertainty where some relationships have been strained due to a variety of stressors. For some it has been a time of thriving in being close to another, while for others it is a challenging time. We are always relating [...]
Quick and Helpful Thought Check
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Sometimes our brains get stuck on “what ifs” or thoughts that are solely negative. It’s easy to focus on the worst case scenarios that stem from some of our negative thinking, such as “If we get in a fight she is going to break up [...]
Working with Our Emotions – Part One
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Rawpixel.com/Adobe Stock Emotions can become overwhelming in the blink of an eye and it can sometimes feel like there is no way to prevent them from feeling insurmountable. It may seem like everywhere you turn someone is doing something that is mean, frustrating or disrespectful. Every [...]
Self-Compassion Break
Photo by Michelle on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia For so many, the recent months have required a bit of flexibility. The pandemic has left many individuals, parents, and families juggling multiple roles. We are all trying to figure things out day by day. In moments of high [...]
Finding Peace in a Crisis
How to strengthen our capacity for wisdom, peace and enlightenment By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling We are certainly living in a strange time. There is a lot that is uncertain and a lot that is unknown. It can be hard to manage the emotional challenges of being in quarantine amidst an uncertain future. We [...]
How to Make Your Social Media Consumption More Intentional in 2 Steps
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Social media and technology are intertwined in our day-to-day lives. Many of us have built up profiles, sent and accepted hundreds of friend requests, and followed various pages over the last several years. When was the last time you checked in on all those platforms and cleansed the things [...]
How are you, really? Make your mental health a priority.
Photo by Dhaya Eddine Bentaleb on Unsplash The world looks a little different than it did a few weeks ago. For many, this has brought to surface many stresses. The stress from pivoting into your new roles and responsibilities, along with social distancing and isolation, has led to an increase in depression. Here is how depression can show [...]
Understanding the Teenage Brain
Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Northern Virginia Raising a teenager can be hard. There is so much social, emotional, and neurobiological change happening in such a short amount of time. Many of us can remember, rather vividly, what it felt like during this awkward and [...]
The Power of Smell
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Most of us have experienced a smell that reminds us of someone or some time in our lives. There is a scientific reason for this phenomenon! Centers for Emotion The places in your brain that are dedicated to working with smell are very closely wired with the centers [...]
Mental Health Do’s and Don’ts during Quarantine!
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling Most of us are stumped on what to do while we’re locked down in our homes. We’ve re-watched all the Harry Potter movies. We’ve binge-watched all the seasons of our favorite shows on Netflix. We’ve “cleaned” our kitchens and our rooms. We’ve emptied out our pantries and shelves once [...]
6 ways to thrive when working from home – Guaranteed to nail it
By now, most of us have had to make the shift from daily commutes and traffic jams, to coordinating schedules with spouses and getting used to a new normal of working at home. It’s normal for feelings of stress, anxiety, anger and even grief to happen when major shifts like these happen in your life. [...]
Keeping Your Peace of Mind Amidst the Chaos
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor There is so much going on right now and so much of it is out of our control. This is an unprecedented time and situation. Many of us are faced with trying to figure out what a new normal looks like. The most important thing to remember is there [...]
Navigating Uncharted Waters: COVID-19
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy We are in uncharted territory together as our community braces to contain the impact of COVID-19. Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash As a parent, you have likely had to shape-shift into many forms this week—comforter, fear-slayer, information-gatherer, preparer, and more recently teacher. You have likely [...]
Three Calming Activities
To help anxious children (and you!) that can be done in the home! By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash These activities are great for children and adults to help them practice mindfulness, live in the here and now, and learn to reduce symptoms of anxiety. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: What is [...]
Was it luck, good fortune or a coincidence?
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Photo by Amy Reed on Unsplash When something positive or good happens to you or occurs in your life, are you able to take credit for it or do you attribute it to something like luck, good fortune, or even just a fluke or coincidence? There are many times we can [...]
Sleep and Mental Health
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Photo by Jonathan Fink on Unsplash In almost all the different mental health issues that people face, a common factor is troubles with sleep. While there are many factors that affect how a person is sleeping, there are a few easy ways to help improve the quality of the sleep we [...]
Protect Your Mental Health From the Dark Sides of Social Media
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Photo by William Iven on Unsplash It's easier said than done to detox yourself from social media. It is everywhere and, if you are like most, you have the fear of missing out. But social media has many dark sides and it is in the best interest of your own [...]
Mindful Self Compassion
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash In the last couple of blog articles, we have covered how to begin tuning in to our mental process to begin noticing moment-to-moment what our mind is up to. As we tune into this process, it is likely you will notice some negative self-talk. These negative [...]
The Magic Ratio to a Happy, Healthy Relationship
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash John Gottman, a well-known and well-respected couples researcher, has documented multiple differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Of these differences, healthy relationships, he suggests, have five times more positive interactions than negative interactions. Luckily, this means that we don’t have to [...]
Change is hard. But worth it.
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash Are you healthy and well, or just comfortable? Comfort can be a tricky subject when dealing with health and wellness. Often times, individuals find themselves in poor health, either mentally or physically, because they are comfortable and unwilling to change. Humans are conditioned to seek the [...]
Getting to the Heart of Communication
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash Many couples seek out couples therapy because they are finding communication difficult. In the world of couples interventions, communication skills training and “I” statements are popular. While these skills may provide short-term gains, I often see them failing to provide the [...]
Noticing the Mental Process
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Pixabay Image Practicing Mindfulness in your daily life as often as possible can give us the power to become less reactive to thoughts and feelings. We can begin to intentionally notice what are mind is up to and begin to retrain it to operate in a more useful way. [...]
5 Ways For a Stress-Free Sleep
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash We’ve all been there. You turn to look at the clock and it’s 2:00 am, then 3:00am. You have to get up in a few hours but, you are still wide awake with what feels like a million thoughts running [...]
New Year, New You?
Photo by Danil Aksenov on Unsplash By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy As one year closes and another begins, it is natural to think of what we hope the journey ahead entails. Certainly, New Year's resolutions can be guide posts to help us stay on track towards big goals. But often, we tend [...]
Tips for dealing with stress over the holidays
By Jack Fox, M.A., Resident in Counseling Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash We know the stress of the holidays can be a lot. Here are two simple tips to keep in mind to keep stress at bay. 1) Don’t break the bank to try and show you love or care. Many people try to show their family and [...]
Do The Next Right Thing
Photo by Dustin Belt on Unsplash By Alison Morogiello, MEd, NCC , Resident in Counseling Upon viewing the new “Frozen II” movie with my two young nieces, there was a mantra throughout the film that allowed the characters to move forward when things felt hopeless. “Do the next right thing”. Sometimes in life, we are faced with overwhelming [...]
The 5 Signs of Burnout
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy During the holidays, there can be a lot of emotional resources going out. One way that we can practice self-care is to recognize the signs of burnout and pull back when we feel like too much of ourselves is going into caring for others. [...]
Gut Microbes and Mental Health!
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling Photo by Brandless on Unsplash It's no secret that mental health and the gut-brain membrane is a new, flourishing research area! One study found that Coprococcus seems to have a pathway related to dopamine, a key brain signal involved in depression, although they have no evidence how this [...]
Keeping Children Safe Online
By Dr. Debra Rezendes - Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by McKaela Lee on Unsplash One modern parenting challenge that I frequently hear about is how to keep kids and teens safe online. It can be hard to know how to keep children safe amidst the changing landscape of the online world. One certainty about the [...]
Supporting Families in the Fourth Trimester
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash My social media feed has been bursting with pictures of mothers to be and new babies entering the world. I love the moment a family meets their little one. And, I also know from working with hundreds of mothers and families, [...]
Daily Mindfulness Practice Basics
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash A simple and effective way to cultivate a more calm and peaceful life is to take the time to notice the thoughts that lead to our feelings. Our brains are always thinking even if we are not tuned into our thoughts. These thoughts lead to feelings whether [...]
Play away Separation Anxiety
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy School is back in session, the season in which separation anxiety may rear itself. The good news is that separation anxiety is often normal, short lived, and can be an indication of the healthy and loving relationship with your young child. Separation Anxiety For [...]
Nighty Night
By Dr. Debra Rezendes, HMT Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy For many of us parents, the blissful summer days of sleeping in have been replaced by the early morning routines of the school year. As we trade the slower paced days of summer for the beginning of the school year, the natural transition of [...]
Systems That Save You Time In Group Practice
Photo copy write Practice of the Practice In our practice, we have found several systems that work to streamline our business and save us time. Every minute wasted, is money lost. I have worked with our Directors to create systems for our practice, allowing our clinicians to do what they do best…therapy! I want our clinicians [...]
If we treat our body well, our mind will be happy too! 💗
Photo by Fezbot2000 on Unsplash By Alison Whitehouse, Resident in Counseling Research continues to support the connection between physical health and mental health. When we are sick with a cold, we often feel depressed or fatigued. When we are stressed or anxious, our body tenses up, or we may have digestive problems. Our mind and body are a [...]