Everyone grieves, but is there a right way to do it? The short answer – no. Grief is a universal experience yet it is different for everyone. The Mayo Clinic defines grief as an overwhelming emotional response to loss. Whether it is the death of a relative, a breakup with a romantic partner, receiving a [...]
Setting Healthy Boundaries with Social Media
Good boundaries are important to establish healthy relationships, but when it comes to our virtual lives, rarely do we think to create clear-cut borders. If you have a smartphone, you’re probably aware that limiting screen time can be a challenge. Establishing firm boundaries online is not only needed for our safety and protection but also [...]
If You Need Me, I’ll Be in My Pillow Fort.
Intentional Goal Setting and Honoring Your Inner Child Hello there. If we aren’t acquainted, I’m Maggie. Just your garden variety, anxiety-having, ADD-brained impostor syndrome toting LPC. Nice to meet you. I’ve noticed a trend in folks I encounter, including myself, with the change of the season. People are feeling a little uncertain about a direction [...]
The Process of Healing – What to Let Go of, What Do I keep?
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer ~ Albert Camus Healing is a complex process that involves physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. The process of healing may differ depending on the individual and the specific condition or ailment being treated, but there are some general principles that can [...]
Anger Management
When we find ourselves angry with someone, my uncle once told me, we should ask ourselves, “What rule of mine was broken?” This question helps to shed light on the reason we became angry in the first place. Our rules can be about anything: how we believe we should be treated or spoken to; how [...]
Helping Clients Heal After Heartbreak
As a clinician supporting clients in the aftermath of a relationship’s ending, it is oftentimes a delicate and multi-faceted process. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that each client copes with the grief and sadness in a way that is unique to them. Being able to properly assess their unique [...]
10 Black Pioneers in the Mental Health Field
Throughout Black History Month, our nation honors African Americans who have made great contributions to our country. Healthy Minds Therapy would like to take the opportunity to highlight Black pioneers in the mental health field who have made significant contributions to the treatment of mental illness and addiction this month. 10 Black Mental Health Professionals [...]
Do you struggle with body image?
Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It encompasses everything from the shape of your body (including height and weight) to what you believe about your own appearance. Many of us internalize external messages starting at a young age that can [...]
Self-Care Exercises
What is self-care and why is it important? Self-care means taking care of oneself by engaging in activities that promote wellness. These areas of wellness include emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, practical, and professional well-being. It is crucial that you address each of these areas to better cope with various stressors and find balance in [...]
Family Manipulation
The holidays are right around the corner. For some people, spending time with loved ones is an exciting and cheerful time. For others, it can be stressful and emotionally exhausting to deal with manipulative and difficult family members. It’s easier said than done to cut toxic people out of our lives completely, especially when these [...]
What kind of parent are you?
Everyone wants to be a good parent. From the moment we decide to parent and raise a child, we start asking ourselves one of the most important and challenging questions – How do we actually do that? How should we raise our kids, so they grow up into successful, caring, and responsible adults? How should [...]
Do you have an anxious or stressed child? Try these fun activities.
Fun activities to do with children that may be stressed, anxious, hyperactive, suffering from grief or loss, or just plain bored. Children often learn better to express themselves with hands-on activities. All of these activities can be tailored to the individual child. Stress Ball and Fortune Teller Activities One thing that is helpful for [...]
Emotional Hunger vs. Physical Hunger
Have you ever used food to cope with stress or any other emotion? Sometimes people use food to avoid emotional discomfort or distract themselves from distressing thoughts. First, take a few deep breaths, and acknowledge that you’re human! It happens! Today, you are going to learn the difference between two different types of Hunger: Emotional [...]
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a relationship dynamic in which people display unhealthy attachment patterns of behavior to one another. The behaviors are hurtful, irresponsible, damaging, and destructive and are not only dangerous to themselves but to everyone involved. The imbalance of codependency can show up in many ways, but any relationship can take on codependent traits. Relationships [...]
On Being Self-Compassionate
“If my friend was struggling with the same thing I am, would I speak to them the way I just spoke to myself?” This is a question that I encourage clients to ask themselves when I hear them being overly self-critical. It serves as an introduction to the importance of exercising self-compassion when improving our [...]
Thinking Better and Avoiding Mind Traps
An important first step in changing how we think and developing the ability to recognize our distorted thinking is by developing an awareness of common “Mind Traps”. Mind traps are often a byproduct of our inner self-talk, but it is important to note that without some sort of “fact-checking” our inner self-talk is not always [...]
How to help your kids get (mentally) ready for school
After two months full of beach trips, ice creams, pool days, drive-in movies, cookouts, and backyard campings, it is time to pack the backpacks and return to school. Fall is always a busy and stressful season for parents, students, and all school personnel. Although we are faced with different challenges, we all experience mixed feelings [...]
Diet & Exercise: Why It’s Easier Said Than Done
There's no doubt our diet affects mental health. Ugh, the same dance it seems: two steps forward, one step back. Try this, don’t eat that! So many frustrations when it comes to diet and exercise often lead to feelings of shame and overwhelm. I have a unique perspective on diet and exercise as a trauma [...]
The Art of Mindful Vacationing
If you're anything like me, you dread the post-vacation slump which often shows up bright and early the Monday morning following vacations. It's no secret vacations can be stressful and often times we set the bar extremely high. We try to cram in a plethora of experiences in a very short space of time. It shouldn't come [...]
Dealing with Chronic Pain
Dopesick is a drama miniseries on Hulu and I believe on Disney Plus. The eight-part drama series is based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Beth Macy, examining the dreadful causes and effects of the opioid crisis unleashed in large part on the United States by Purdue Pharma, and its “non-addictive” painkiller [...]
On Saying Yes
Self care is all the rage and, in most articles, memes, and TikTok advice it’s all about saying no to things. That is something that is a challenge for many of us, and saying no is an important skill. That said, so is saying yes. When was the last time you said yes to something? [...]
What is Professional Burnout and How to Handle it
For those of us in the working field, heavy workloads and deadline pressures are things we have all experienced at some point in the job. Who doesn’t feel overwhelmed or stretched thin sometimes? But when relentless work stress pushes you into the debilitating state we call burnout, it is a serious problem. It affects not [...]
Expressing Emotions
Expressing emotions doesn’t come naturally for all of us. Learning to recognize your emotion, label it and get curious about it can help build a healthier self-esteem and relationships with others. Unfortunately, ignoring emotions, pretending they don’t exist, and operating in silence can cause long-term emotional distress. Labeling Try practicing labeling, a simple technique to [...]
How to be an Ally During Pride Month and Throughout the Year
The month of June is an important month dedicated to the uplifting of LGBTQ+ voices, a celebration of LGBTQ+ culture and the support of LGBTQ+ rights. PRIDE is an acronym for Personal Rights in Defense and Education. No matter who you love or how you identify, everyone deserves to be safe, valued, equal, and proud. [...]
About Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a therapeutic technique that allows your brain to reprocess a negative event, memory, or situation that has occurred in your life and gives you the ability to think about the event in a more adaptive way. Sometimes when an event like that occurs, the brain gets stuck [...]
Sometimes It’s Not Just One Thing That Can Help Us Maintain our Healing
Over the past few years, it has been both a personal and professional observation that the people who have been successful on their mental health wellness path utilize many different coping strategies and coping skills. Often, I think we all sometimes, in one form or another, look for the “quick fix” or the one thing [...]
The Productivity Paradox
How many times have you found yourself with a canceled appointment and you frantically looked for something to do to fill that space? We’ve all been there. Not wanting to waste a single moment of possible productivity. Somewhere along the way we’ve managed to attach our happiness and success to our productivity. This has resulted [...]
Five Morning Routines to Start Your Day Off Right
This month for Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share five morning routines that can help start your day off right. Taking time for self-care is so important - even the smallest change in routine devoted to self-care can make a big difference in your day. Here are Five Helpful Morning Routines: 1. Meditation: [...]
Taking the Pressure Out of Intimacy
We often hear "healthy communication is key". But what happens when healthy communication still adds pressure? Being sexually intimate with our partners can seem easy in the beginning stages, sometimes referred to as the "honeymoon phase" but eventually the passion can die down, and maintaining a healthy sex life begins to require more communication and [...]
How Can I Convince Someone To Go To Therapy?
We can all think of at least one person in our lives who can benefit from going to therapy. Seeing a loved one struggle with mental health issues can be scary or overwhelming. It’s natural to want to help them by bringing in a professional but you can’t force a person to change. Instead, you [...]
How to Help a Loved one with Depression
Many people have either experienced depression themselves or at least know of one or more people who have suffered from depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 17.3 million American adults in the U.S suffer from depression. Symptoms of Depression: You or a loved one may be suffering from depression if you [...]
Tips on Self-Care
How to add Self-Care to your daily routine. As the saying goes, "an empty tank will take you exactly nowhere. Take time to refuel." Self-care is not selfish so erase that concept from your mind. If anything, it benefits not only you but those who are around you. You cannot properly care for others [...]
No Show or Show Up?
Your First Counseling Session: Trying something new for the first time can cause quite a bit of anxiety. I felt pretty anxious before I went to my first barre class (you know, that trendy exercise fad right now combining Pilates, yoga and ballet?). I imagine this is what it feels like to start therapy for [...]
Where Self-Compassion and Boundaries Intersect
Self-compassion and boundary-setting are two things that I find myself very energized to work with in the therapy space. When I heard Brené Brown speaking about the intersection between these two topics (on a recent episode of Armchair Expert) I knew I wanted to elaborate further. What Do Compassionate People Have In Common? Let’s first [...]
Remember Your Why
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling I was recently inspired by a client who carries a list she created to remind herself why she is committed to her job, even on the very tough days… People enter therapy for many different reasons, and it is truly a process unique to the individual. Addressing challenges and [...]
The Dangers of All or Nothing Thinking
All or nothing thinking, also known as black and white thinking, is a cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that result in feelings such as anxiety or depression. All or nothing thinking is when we look at things in extremes, see a situation as being either this way or that way, [...]
A Mental Health Take-Away from “March Madness”
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Intensions and Uncertainty If you turn on your television over the next few weeks you can enjoy the physical, emotional, and psychological ride of college athletics through “March Madness.” In the spirit of these student-athletes, let's take a moment to feel into their reality of uncertainty when it comes [...]
Intention setting: a better way to start the day
How often do you hit the snooze on your alarm and rush through your morning routine when you finally get out of bed? Maybe you do get up when your alarm goes off the first time, but you immediately start thinking of the many things on your to-do list for the day. Either way, we [...]
Techniques for Time Management
Do you ever catch yourself saying “I just don’t have time!” or “I wish I had time for that.” Or maybe you notice that despite your best efforts, something keeps slipping through the cracks. Time is tricky. Here are some tips and techniques to help you manage your time better. Pomodoro Technique This is a [...]
What is Social Work Anyway?
When I decided to go back to school later in life to pursue social work, I soon realized how many misconceptions there are around what social workers do. Many people assumed social workers’ only role was doing child protective work, which is no surprise since that is often how social workers are portrayed in the [...]
Scavenger hunt, anyone?
So, who doesn't like a good scavenger hunt? Not only are they fun, but scavenger hunts also help children work on essential skills like problem-solving. It also helps to reinforce act-out methods they have been taught by parents or teachers in a physical way, leading to increased retention. They are also easy to customize to [...]
What Can YOU Do To Take Care Of Your Mental Health?
It is crucial that you take care of your mental wellness now more than ever before. Mental wellness or good mental health is thinking, feeling, and interacting in ways that help you enjoy life and effectively deal with challenging situations. Without mental wellness, people are unable to fulfill their full potential or play an active [...]
I Think My Child is Having Mental Health Issues – Now What?
Parenting is not for the faint of heart Parenting a child during their middle and high school years can present unique challenges in normal times. Throw in a global pandemic, social justice reckoning, climate change (insert your kiddo’s stressor) and it certainly doesn’t get any easier. If you are the parent of a tween or [...]
Trusting the Therapy Process
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Therapy is an involved process. The first step being, entering into a therapeutic relationship where you feel seen and heard, as well as open to looking at yourself and life in a deeper way. Some personal challenges are going to take longer to sift through. Some issues, after being addressed, may [...]
Thoughts on Nedra Tawaab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace
You need it. The first time I heard about this book was on Good Morning America. I go through phases where I like to have the morning news on in the background as I drink my coffee and begin working through yesterday’s documentation. This day, Nedra appeared for a few short minutes to speak on [...]
A Message to Men in Need
“To progress again, man must remake himself. And he cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. In order to uncover his true visage, he must shatter his own substance with heavy blows of his hammer.” ~Alexis Carrel, Man, The Unknown Look the reality is; though most of us [...]
Helping Kids with Deep Breathing
Children regularly have big emotions, and it can be more difficult for them to calm down than it is for adults. Sometimes even when we tell kids to take a deep breath they start hyperventilating, coughing, or choking. They may need a little extra help. First we want to educate children on why deep breathing [...]
Cognitive Distortions: 10 Examples of Distorted Thinking
A cognitive distortion can be defined as faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception, or belief. Negativity is often the defining characteristic. For some of us, distorted thinking is a momentary blip. We get upset when we fail a test. We briefly reason that we’re bad at whatever the test was on instead of realizing we need [...]
Let’s Move Towards Nuance in the New Year
The New Year is symbolic for me. Time may be made-up, but it is a made-up system that rules our lives. And there’s just something nice and fresh feeling about January 1st. I do not expect to turn into Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, but I do believe in moving into a new year [...]
5 Tips for Improved Mindfulness Walking in 2022
IT TOOK A STORM TO HELP ME BE PRESENT! Walking for 50 minutes at the end of each day is routine for me. I lace up, insert my Air Pods, select a playlist, and off I go. I pass dogs on leashes, food delivery people, kids on the playground… I think you get the picture. [...]
How Loneliness Impacts The Workplace
Technology allows us to speak with others across the country and around the world without having to leave the office. While these modern-day opportunities may be convenient, they can actually be contributing to loneliness. As human beings, we all have an innate need to be connected to others, to belong. Loneliness pulls us away from [...]
The Holidays as an Opportunity to Grow
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling This time of year is as emotionally colorful as the lights we see in store windows. Holidays, like other yearly marked events, offer us an opportunity to look inside our hearts to see where we have arrived as of now. We may find ourselves not just reflecting on ourselves but also [...]
Fears About the Future and Anticipatory Anxiety
Anticipatory anxiety is the worry that creeps in when there are uncertainties about the future. We often become focused on the things we can’t predict or even make sense of. In that space, our minds begin to entertain the negative possibilities and “what ifs”. This type of anxiety can be seen in our everyday lives [...]
Using Your Anxiety as A Trigger for Taking Action
What is to give light must endure burning. Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. ~ Viktor Frankl; Man’s Search for Meaning For many people today, anxiety is typically [...]
The Holidays and Being Body Positive
The Holidays can be a magical time of year. For many people the holidays are a time for giving, making memories, spending quality time with loved ones, and… eating good food! Unfortunately, many of us can fall into engagement with negative self-talk resulting in feelings of shame and guilt during this time of year when [...]
Navigating Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season can be a very difficult time for anyone experiencing grief and loss. This may be the first family gathering without a loved one present. It may also be years since the loss of a loved one as the pain connected to grief continues to ebb and flow. The holidays can also be [...]
5 Questions To Ask Your Therapist
Going to therapy can be very beneficial. It is a place where you can learn more about yourself; understand the symptoms of mental health you are experiencing; receive advice and support to help achieve your goals, and work on forming more meaningful relationships. It is a place for someone who needs someone to listen or [...]
Grieving the Loss of a Pet
The loss of someone you care deeply for can feel absolutely devastating. The same goes for the death of a cat, dog, or any other pet you may have. The experiences and feelings we have with our pets are unique to our relationship with them. There is no one else that has experienced that relationship [...]
The Value of Exploring Our Experiences Using More Curiosity and Less Judgment
Shifting a judgmental mindset. An essential component in my approach to therapy involves assisting clients to see things clearly, rather than in a biased, judgmental way. Our judging minds typically conceal a wider, more realistic picture of our life experiences, ourselves, and of others. This skewed inaccurate view often results in our emotional suffering in [...]
Break Through Resistance
It happens to all of us. We make a commitment to change, and then, resistance hits. Unexpected barriers, that we don’t know how to deal with, can be one of the biggest reasons that we don’t achieve our goals. Resistance can easily discourage us and give us reasons not to change. For some people, resistance [...]
Self-Soothing vs. Self-Care
The term self-care has become extremely well known over the past few years. We talk about it at work, school, with our kids and with our families. But what actually is self-care? Believe it or not, self-care is not putting on your face mask at the end of the night or listening to relaxing music [...]
Spoiler Alert: Comparative Suffering Helps No One
Comparison is the key part of comparative suffering. We try to rank suffering and privilege. Who has more? Who has it better or worse than me? What are they doing that I am not? In an attempt to create a hierarchy of feeling, we are actually impeding empathy and compassion. Comparative suffering can work in two insidious [...]
Sleep Hygiene
Sleep. We love it, we hate it. It can be a source of rest, but also a source of stress. When 50-70 million people in the United States suffer from a diagnosable sleep disorder, it’s clear that it is a prevalent issue. It affects our physical, mental, and emotional health. Just like you brush your [...]
Getting Un-Stuck
Change is scary, but acknowledging that you have the power to choose something different, may be even scarier. We can all at some point in our lives become paralyzed by fear, anxiety, worry, and disappointment. But, to get unstuck we have to choose change; we can't wait for it to happen. We have to get [...]
How to Cope with your Eating Disorder and the Holidays
Dr. Michael Deitz at Healthy Minds Therapy continues the conversation about eating disorders. The holidays are stressful times but they are especially stressful for someone recovering from an eating disorder when so much emphasis is put on food. Just remember, it is just one day! Eating Disorders Part 2 In case you missed it, [...]
Common Holiday Relapse Triggers
As we approach the holiday season, there is a shift in the world as we enter what is typically considered a wonderful and joyous time of the year. Unfortunately, amidst all this joy and merriment there can also be increased stress. This stress can stem from the financial burden of giving gifts, entertaining company, or [...]
Tips for New Moms with Anxiety and OCD
Have you recently had a baby and are struggling with new mom anxiety? You are not alone. 85% of new moms develop some form of sadness and anxiety during the postpartum period. A common anxiety-related mental-health condition that can develop is hypochondria and OCD. Hypochondria is atypical levels of anxiety regarding one’s health or the [...]
Understanding HALT – How to Engage in Positive Behaviors
When we are aware of our mental, emotional, and physical states this can lead to us engaging in positive behaviors rather than impulsive behaviors. If we HALT and assess our needs then we are better able to address behaviors before they lead to relapse, whether that is returning to substance use or other behaviors we [...]
Decision Making in a Pandemic: Doing The “Right” Thing
Some of us are more risk-averse than others, and some of us love adventure and trying new things. Risk-taking sounds like a bad thing, but it is really just a fancy way of describing adventurousness and courage. Risk-taking is impacted by a lot of individual factors, like age, life experience, and perception. So those of [...]
Thoughts on Empathy
Recently a friend who was in the process of moving was telling me how stressful it was for her. This led me to reflect on my own stressful experiences with moving. Looking back on how I responded to her, I realize that I became so caught up in my own thoughts that I did not [...]
Exercise and Mental Health
When I was a teenager I thoroughly enjoyed sports, such a volleyball and horseback riding. I left high school and when I went to college I no longer participated in these fun sports. This was when I began to notice my mental health was suffering. College was hard work, stressful, and time-consuming. I tried to [...]
The Myth About Mindfulness
Mindfulness... it doesn't work. This is a common concern I hear from clients, and it usually includes a recent story about how breathing didn't help calm them down when they were in the midst of a panic attack. Of course it didn't work. Mindfulness is an incredible tool, but it's not the only useful coping [...]
8 Ways to Support College Students at Midterms
If you are a parent who helped your student settle into their college dorm room this past August, these last few months you’ve likely experienced your home to be slightly quieter, your laundry a bit lighter, and family meals somewhat smaller. 8-10 weeks ago, college students returned to campus, filling dorms, classrooms, and dining halls, bringing [...]
Days are Getting Shorter Again: Tips to Circumvent Seasonal Pattern Depression
While fall brings pumpkin patches, apple picking, gorgeous foliage, and cooler weather… it also brings shorter days. The mornings are darker, and the sun starts to set earlier and earlier. While I personally am a big fan of the spooky season and am grateful the humidity and bugs are disappearing, I can also acknowledge that [...]
10 Ways to Build and Maintain Boundaries
Many people know what the word “boundaries” means, but they have no idea what they are. You might think of boundaries as something like a wired fence or a brick wall used to keep people out. Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. They reinforce self-love and self-respect by limiting the access that [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
Up to 40% of our mood can be determined by our daily actions. This research finding is good news. It means that we can have a significant impact on improving our mood. If you are looking for some ways to beat a bad mood, try some of the strategies below. Guard your sleep Sleep deprivation [...]
Figuring Out Rest
How do you like to rest? Okay, I know that might feel like a silly question to some (I don’t know Jack, on my side, with a pillow between my legs?), but I want you to think a little bit deeper than just your preferred sleeping positions. I am talking about how you fill your [...]
There is No Such Thing as Happiness (As We Commonly Know it)
“There is no such thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, in such a way that no one may isolate them.” ~ Jean Toomer, Cane What is happiness and what does it really mean to find happiness? Is it even possible? I have always found it interesting both in my personal and [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 2)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. Here are 10 additional mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find more peace [...]
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are very serious mental health conditions with physical ramifications. There are a lot of false narratives spread throughout society. Eating disorders affect about 30 million Americans at some point in their lives. Many factors can lead to an eating disorder such as environmental influences, genetic influences, and trauma influences. Dr. Deitz has worked [...]
Therapy: A Last Resort?
When thinking about going to therapy, we often feel like it’s a last-resort option. After we have tried to figure things out for ourselves, talked with family or friends, or even tried Google or YouTube, it’s only THEN that we think about reaching out to a professional. Only if the problems we are facing seem [...]
Thoughts on Slowing Down when Overwhelmed
As we near the end of summer there is a dampening of the energy that was here earlier in the year. People are experiencing transitions in their lives as they return to working onsite, as they distance, again, and as they experience other changes in their lives including returning to school. With these, there can [...]
Responses to Trauma: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
You’ve likely heard of fight, flight, or freeze as responses to a threat. The fourth option, fawn, is less commonly taught. Also known as The Four Fs of trauma, these are automatic coping mechanisms for actual and/or perceived experiences of an activating, stressful, or traumatic event. Let’s break these terms down even further. Fight If [...]
Misconceptions About Therapy
It is not uncommon to have some people’s first appointments with me go a little like this: “I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t think I really need therapy but my (mom, dad, sibling, friend) suggested it so I figured, why not?” When I ask them why they think they do not need [...]
What are Behavioral Addictions?
Behavioral Addictions, also known as process addictions, exist outside of the world of drug and alcohol use. As defined by the National Institute of Health (NIH), behavioral addiction is a compulsion to continually engage in an activity or behavior despite the negative impact on the person’s ability to remain mentally and/or physically healthy and functional [...]
Stress Management: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is an incredible skill to help manage stress, anxiety, panic, and any unpleasant feeling. It’s also great if you just want to relax! It’s a great way to ground your mind AND your body and can be done anywhere. How It Works You can either find a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise [...]
How to Get Over Fear
We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]
Family Dynamics in Addiction
Addiction does not only affect the person within their addiction it also affects the entire family. In a family, each member has a specific role for the family to function and maintain stability. When there is one person or multiple people in a family who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the family roles [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 1)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. 10 Mindfulness Exercises Here are 10 mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find [...]
Progress in Therapy: From Stagnation to Mobility
Progress with therapy looks different for everyone. It may look like a reduction in panic attacks and anxiety levels, light after never-ending darkness linked to tragedy and grief, a respite from the clutches of depression, or learning the self-advocacy and communication skills that create peaceful resolutions following years of conflict with a loved one. Progress [...]
Tips for Social Anxiety
Living in a digital world definitely has its pros and cons. Studies show people prefer texting to calling these days and people are leaning more towards online dating than going out to meet people. Many of us have been working from our homes and now are having to return to the office. Social anxiety has [...]
Reasons Your Child May Need To See A Therapist
As a parent, you want the best for your child. If your child breaks his/her leg, you go to the hospital right away. But if your child is expressing anxiety or seems depressed, many parents aren’t sure what to do. Children go through difficult periods where they need help, support or someone to listen, just [...]
Weeds in a Neighbor’s Yard
There is an invasive weed in the neighbor’s yard, and I wanted to say something about it. I even thought of going over there and offering to help pull the weeds but was reminded that it was not for me to pull the weeds in the neighbor’s yard. I will let them continue to work [...]
Focus on The Chips, Not The Air – Shifting Your Mindset
We have all been there, in a line at the grocery store or sandwich shop with a tasty bag of chips in our hand. Maybe sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, barbecue, or even just a classic kettle-cooked! Imagine your taste buds starting to tingle as you anticipate being able to open up that [...]
Reasons to See a Therapist
It’s 2021 and “because you want to” or “because we are still dealing with a global pandemic” should be reason enough. There are all kinds of reasons to seek out help from an expert. Counselors and social workers have gone through several years of schooling, including a master’s program, as well as rigorous training for [...]
A Brief Introduction to Attachment
Let’s face it, humans need to be in close connection with others. We all possess a basic need to form close bonds throughout our lives. This need is so embedded in our biology. We are equipped with a system to manage our relationships with caregivers, partners, and children. This is known as our attachment system. [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]
If You are Searching for Happiness Read This
At the end of every intake, I ask clients what their goals for therapy are. Many of them give an answer indicative of their lifelong quest for happiness. I cannot count the number of times I have heard “to be happier” as a response to that question. If happiness is your ultimate goal, much like [...]
What Changes After Trauma
While not everyone has experienced a life-altering traumatic experience that would be defined as a “big T” trauma, almost all of us can look back throughout our lives and point to instances of how the “little t” traumas, the everyday distressing events or stressors, have affected us and shaped how we are currently interacting with [...]
How to Deal with Transition
With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]
No Drama Discipline
Parenting the 'Whole-Brain' way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind Every year when the weather gets warmer, my bookshelf gets a bit fuller. I admit; I am a bit of a nerd and love relaxing with a good book. This month, I am returning to an oldie but goodie. If you [...]
Can’t Stop Ruminating? Let’s Talk About WHAT You Can Do
I have quite a few clients come to me who have trouble with rumination. Something negative happened in the past, maybe it was yesterday or maybe it was a few years ago. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we cannot stop thinking about certain things. Common questions we ask ourselves when ruminating are “Why [...]
A Different Perspective on Fear
Fear is very pertinent to most people and many of my clients, especially in this day and age. Fear is a great cause of suffering. It stops us from being healthy, prevents us from being successful, keeps us from developing relationships that are helpful, and stops us from being at peace. But at the same [...]
Hyperfocus and the ADHD Brain
Intense Focus in Kids and Adults A common symptom of ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) in children and adults is the inability to focus on a task at hand. Those who have ADHD are easily distracted and have a hard time giving sustained attention to a specific task, activity or chore. A lesser-known, and more controversial, symptom [...]
Tips to Prevent Relapse
Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use. Relapse and the Recovery [...]
Connecting On A Bridge
When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]
Spiral Grounding Technique
The Spiral Technique is really great for when a disturbing thought or memory seems to keep coming up for you in daily life. It is a technique that helps to take the focus off of the disturbance and the sensations that come up in your body when you think of this event. Here is how [...]
What To Do If Therapy Stalls
You did it. In the sea of various credentials and types of therapy, you found a therapist that you can trust. Everything was great at first. And then…you hit a plateau. Month after month, you just don’t feel like you are making progress. It can be frustrating to feel like you are putting so much [...]
Starting Therapy—A Profound Act of Self-Care
Therapy is not just for dealing with a crisis. It can be beneficial for anyone dealing with mental health challenges, experiencing high levels of stress or who simply wants to gain more knowledge and awareness. Therapy can be a great place to learn and practice new skills as people take on changes and stressors associated [...]
What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?
When you think of self-care, I’m sure a few different things come to mind. Relaxing, doing yoga, getting a massage, putting on your favorite mud mask until your face is so tight you can’t smile…. Yes, all these things are great. But are they really the basis of what grounds you and makes you feel [...]
Are you a Maximizer or a Satisficer?
There are all kinds of schools of thought, theories of psychology, and personality quizzes boasting to understand us. One you may not have heard of, however, is Herbert A. Simon’s position on decision-making. He received the Nobel Prize in 1978 and is best known for his work as an economist and cognitive psychologist. Earlier in [...]
Using a Client’s Passion or Interest as a Therapeutic Tool
Often as therapists, we can find our clients, and ourselves, for that matter, stuck where we are both connected but some emotion or behavior or techniques are bearing no “fruit”. I often find a change in perspective at what my clients are trying to work through is especially useful. Often this is accomplished by “thinking [...]
Substance Use, Abuse, or Addiction: What’s the difference?
In the world of substance use treatment, there are various terms that can become confusing when one begins treatment or are new on their journey of recovery. One area of confusion is understanding the difference between substance use, abuse, and addiction. When a person can define and fully understand what they are experiencing, it can help them in the process of healing [...]
The Importance of Hobbies on our Mental Health
We all know that life can be hectic, especially recently due to the pandemic. We may be working all day, coming home to care for children, running errands, and getting work done around the house. When we do finally get some downtime, many of us resort to laying on the couch and scrolling through our [...]
Emotion Granularity: What Is It and Why It Matters
If you look up the definition of granular, it leaves a lot to be desired. You will find statements like: “composed of grains, containing granules, or resembling small particles.” Maybe imagery will be more helpful here - think about sand or sugar for instance. Then think about what those grains look like under a microscope. [...]
Art-Making and Process
The process of art-making can be multilayered. I am an encaustic artist, which uses wax in the painting process. Painting with wax has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Attending my first encaustic workshop was very stressful for me. There was a lot of self-doubt about my ability to learn this new painting [...]
Three Relationship Myths That Leave Us Unhappy
What is a happy relationship? The answer is simple, right? Two people meet, share interests, fall in love, and live happily ever after. While this relationship template works well for romantic comedies (who doesn’t love a good RomCom?), it rarely leads to a life of bliss with our partner. It is important to consider our [...]
The Difference Between an Anxiety Attack and a Panic Attack
Often used interchangeably, the terms Panic Attack and Anxiety Attack are used to describe intense emotional and physiological distress. Is there a difference? Yes, let’s learn! Differences between Emotional and Physiological Distress: First, let’s discuss how they are similar. Anxiety attacks and panic attacks can result in some of the same symptoms. For example, many [...]
Thoughts on Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is something that many of us struggle with. We are sometimes hard on ourselves as we strive to do better or live up to expectations that we set for ourselves. It can be a heavyweight to carry. Many years ago, I attended a talk on the Dalai Lama’s book How to Be Compassionate. I [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 2
In the second part of this post, we are going to review the target symptoms of low motivation and then address what actions you can take in order to combat them. It may be difficult at first to get the hang of these methods, however with practice and consistency you will be up and going [...]
“Pretzel Breathing Technique” for Children
Sometimes we tend to tell our children to calm down without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Today’s technique I want to share with you all is a good exercise for kids to experience calmness and reduce anxiety. This technique, called the “Pretzel Breathing Technique,” is a quick [...]
Do I Own My Story or Does My Story Own Me?
When it comes to trauma, we as counselors must assess the trauma narrative continuum, which is the degree to which our clients “own” their stories and to what degree the stories “own” our clients. I learned this concept from a one-time supervisor and now mentor and friend. I found it immediately relatable in my own [...]
The 8 Phases of EMDR
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is an incredibly useful technique that was originally developed for the treatment of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Since its inception, research has been done that has shown EMDR to be an effective treatment option for multiple mental health issues such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and more! As EMDR [...]
Connecting with Your Child
When Emotionally Exhausted Last month marked the one-year anniversary of COVID-related social distancing policies, new schedules, new ways of being in the world, and an abrupt goodbye to pre-pandemic life. There has been an upsurge in hitting the “pandemic wall”—our brains are full and tired and our kids are feeling the weight of boredom. New [...]
Conceptualizations
I have noticed in my work with couples and individuals that people often remain in a state of suffering because of their own conceptualizations. We hold on to things like “it is your fault” or “I am right, and you are wrong” type conceptualizations. This way of being keeps us in a place of feeling [...]
Recognizing Transference
Have you ever had an experience where someone reminds you of a person you have known before and you view and interact with them as you did with that person from your past? If so, you may be experiencing transference. Transference Can Be Positive or Negative Transference occurs when a person directs feelings and experiences [...]
10 Ways ‘Anxiety Pain’ Manifests And How To Deal With Them
Anxiety doesn’t just happen in our heads—it can actually live in our bodies. Those that experience anxiety may be very well familiar with this. However, for some, it might come as a surprise just how much of a physical effect anxiety can have on the body. Learning and recognizing the physical symptoms of anxiety can [...]
Connecting to Recovery Resources
During the Covid-19 Pandemic Prior to the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, 12 Step Meetings, whether the meeting is Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and so on, were usually fairly easy to find. One could find a list of meetings in their area by the day of the week and time on AA.org or NA.org. A person [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 1
I see many clients who battle with a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation can range from struggling to keep up with daily chores, to feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning. If you are feeling unmotivated to engage in activities you used to enjoy, this can be concerning to some people. Feeling [...]
The Impact of Anxiety and Fear
“Life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is a guide as well as an enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient's awareness and vitality.” ~Irvin [...]
Commonalties in The Therapeutic Process and The Practice of Aikido
A Personal Experience As both Aikido instructor and practitioner, I am often amazed at the commonalities between the practice of Aikido, and the therapeutic process. The objective in Aikido is to join one’s personal ki (energy) with universal ki to achieve harmony (ai). Aikido stresses working with a partner, rather than wrestling or fighting against [...]
How The Past Changes Present Perception and EMDR Therapy
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapeutic technique geared towards the treatment of trauma or disturbing events. The technique works to target specific events that are remembered as distressing and take the emotional response to these events out of the memory. Doing so can often help to stop triggering experiences, flashbacks, and [...]
The Power of Assertive Communication
One key component of any healthy relationship is communication. And it is important to not just communicate but to communicate effectively. One way to ensure this is done is to use assertive communication techniques. Assertive communication occurs when an individual is able to state their own needs, wants, and feelings directly and confidently, while also [...]
Cultivating Understanding
Like any other useful human trait, understanding must be intentionally cultivated through practice. Understanding does not necessarily mean agreeing with someone. We can have different values than others and respect their point of view. Like any other mindful practice, it must be based on compassion. Compassion for ourselves as well as compassion for others. Compassion is what will allow us to [...]
We Must Talk About The Asian American Story
Have you heard of or seen the viral video of the 91-year-old man being shoved, on camera, in Oakland’s Chinatown? Or the 84-year-old Thai American man who was killed in an unprovoked attack in San Francisco? What about the 64-year-old Vietnamese American woman who was assaulted in broad daylight in San Jose, and robbed of [...]
Three Things to Do for a Life Well Lived
Last year gave all of us the opportunity to tune into what is most important to us as we have wrestled with what it means to navigate our new circumstances and find joy. But what exactly brings us joy? What exactly is a life well-lived, and how can we set ourselves up to be happier [...]
Recovering Perfectionist? Me Too.
I am Type A. I’m an Enneagram 1. I love my planner, fresh sheets, organized spaces, and when I say I have a list for everything… I mean everything. Scheduling and de-cluttering brings me delight. I have been described as rigid, an overachiever, and some other not-so-kind things. And it has taken me a long time to [...]
What is Unconditional Love, Really?
Years ago, I bought my best friend a very expensive gift, despite things being tight financially for me. I did this because I adored this friend. She truly wanted this gift. It meant a lot to her and I wanted more than anything to make her happy. I wanted her to know how important she [...]
Communication In The Moment
It is important to have communication in the moment or near the moment. Recently, I talked with a friend about an event that occurred many years ago. I didn’t bring it up at that particular moment, but I realized that I had been holding onto this for a very long time. I remember the event [...]
Managing the Post Holiday Blues
We’ve all been there…the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over and the post-holiday blues can tend to set in. All the gifts have been opened, friends and family have left town and we must settle back into our daily routines. The cold and dark months of January and February can cause us to [...]
Key to Success in Setting Intentions
I believe the key to success in setting intentions in any area, at any point in our lives, is consistency. Certainly, adjustments in our process may be necessary. Other than small rudder steers from time to time, we need to practice consistency in any endeavor to achieve success. The best way I have heard this [...]
What is Post-Traumatic Growth?
Trauma can be life-changing, leading to a distorted worldview, a sense of betrayal, and an inability to feel safe. Trauma plays a role in the development of mental disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). On the other hand, post-traumatic growth (PTG) indicates the experience of finding new meaning. It can also create a deeper sense [...]
Three Myths About Emotions
Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question. Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]
What Is Your Window of Tolerance?
Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia You are gearing up for a test at school, a performance review, a presentation at work, or a few days home with your kids for a long weekend. These stressful events are often times manageable for us on a day-to-day basis. These kinds of stress-inducing events [...]
Mental Health Check-in: How are YOU, really?
Mental Health Check: An Open Letter from HMT Founder & Therapist, Alycia Burant Dear Healthy Minds Family, I hope as you read this, you are in good health. I recognize your hearts and minds may continue to be filled with fear, worry, and sadness. To be honest, I am still digesting and processing the events [...]
Understanding Stress and Anxiety
Contrary to Popular Belief, Stress and Anxiety are Not the Enemies By Jasmine Payne, Resident in Counseling More often than not, stress and anxiety are viewed as dreadful things that we need to eliminate completely. Many of us think something along the lines of “if I had it all together, I wouldn’t feel so stressed [...]
General Observations on The Link Between Clients Managing Their Trauma Background and Navigating a COVID-19 World.
By Bradd Buckingham, Resident in Counseling Since the beginning of COVID-19, I have professionally observed as a counseling intern working in a community mental health clinic, currently as a resident in counseling as well as personally with friends and family, a shift or slide backward in the management of their trauma symptomology and the meaningful [...]
What does Trauma mean?
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In my work with clients, I often notice a hesitancy to admit or acknowledge that events in their lives have been traumatic. Due to the news or social media, we are trained or accustomed to think of trauma only as being big events that capture [...]
Depression During A Pandemic: Coping Skills To Combat The Blues
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Depression saps a person’s energy to do just about anything. As a result, people tend to become less active, which causes the depression to worsen. This has been the case for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Some behavioral activation may be beneficial to help stop [...]
Efficient Problem Solving
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Patients frequently come to me for advice when they encounter a problem and do not know what to do, where to go next or how to address the problem. We are usually able to work together to dissect the issue and make a plan [...]