As a parent, deciding to put your child in therapy can bring up a lot of emotions: concern, hope, uncertainty, and even guilt. You want to make sure you’re doing the right thing to support your child’s well-being, but you might not know exactly what to expect. That’s okay. Why Parents Seek Therapy for Their [...]
Category: Mindfulness
Anxiety and Safety Behaviors
Anxiety and worry can make it difficult to be present within daily events and personal interactions, which can take the joy out of small and big life moments. For many people with anxiety, there's a strong desire to escape, reduce, or avoid anxiety situations, people, or things that increase this feeling. It is common to [...]
Dos and Don’ts of Healthy Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is a powerful tool for growth when done properly. It should be done with intention and compassion. But self-reflection can be confusing, especially when most people have some sense of awareness and insight. Here are some simple dos and don’ts to get you started! ✅ DO: Be Curious Healthy self-reflection starts with curiosity to [...]
Winter Reflection and the Eight Cs of Self-Leadership
Winter has arrived. Snow drifts softly from the sky, blanketing the world in quiet. The air is crisp, cheeks glow ruddy from the cold, and comfort can be found in steaming mugs of coffee, hearty soups, and sturdy snowboots. The sun lingers only briefly before surrendering to the long stretch of evening darkness. As night [...]
How to Practice Self-Care in the Winter
The changing seasons throughout the year can often result in changes in our mood and mental health. Many people experience increased sadness and a lack of energy in the winter months, as the days get colder and shorter. Incorporating self-care into our routines can help to combat the negative effects of winter and support our [...]
Holding Grief During the Holiday Season
Loss is one of the most difficult and universal experiences we have as humans. Around the holidays, many people experience a renewed sense of grief, sadness, anger, and longing for people or relationships they have lost over their lives. While it can be hard to experience these emotions, it is important to understand that the [...]
Self-Care Idea: Nature Walks to Nurture Mental Health
Spending time outdoors can be one of the easiest and most accessible ways to support your mental health. Many studies have shown that being in nature can lower stress, reduce anxiety, and even boost creativity and focus. Beyond the health benefits, there is something grounding about nature that can offer a sense of calmness that [...]
Understanding Therapy
Therapy is a private and supportive space where you talk with a trained professional about your thoughts, feelings, and challenges. It's a place to better understand yourself and learn ways to feel and cope better. Here are the different types of therapy:Â Individual Therapy: One-on-one with the clinician In one-on-one therapy, what you share with [...]
Self-Care Ideas for the Upcoming Holidays
The holiday season can be a joyful time filled with celebration, but it can also bring stress and overwhelm. Taking time for self-care is essential to ensure you’re able to enjoy the festivities and maintain your well-being. Here are some self-care ideas to help you navigate the upcoming holidays with ease: Scented Candles I love [...]
The Healing Power of Animals
Many of us have grown up with pets, know someone who owns a pet, or are simply lovers of animals. Animals have a unique way of comforting us without even needing to speak to us. By being around animals, we can feel a safe, nonjudgmental space that can provide moments of calm and happiness to [...]
Everyday Mindfulness
If you’ve been in therapy (or on the internet in general), then you’ve probably been introduced to the concept of “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is often described in a similar vein to meditation: done in a quiet place, maybe with some soft music, in a comfortable position, for five to ten minutes. While this may be the [...]
The Art of Taking Your Time
Life can be so hectic and overwhelming that it feels difficult to put our foot on the brakes and slow down. Often, we are surrounded by external pressures that place value in performing at a faster pace; while this can still be productive sometimes, we are likely to burn ourselves out if we aren’t able [...]
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
Have you ever been told that you are “too sensitive”? Or maybe you’ve noticed that you’re especially affected by violence, pain, conflict, or can become easily overstimulated by your environment? You are not “too much” or “too emotional”. It might be that you are what psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron describes as a “highly sensitive person” [...]
How to Sit With Your Feelings
What are feelings? Most of us weren’t taught how to actually feel our feelings. Many times, to survive, we brushed off our emotions, tried to hide them, or forced ourselves to “overcome” them. But our emotions don’t go away because we ignore them. Our emotions are smart; they wait, come back, and sometimes come back [...]
Four Everyday Habits That Support Mental Health
Mental health is complex, and at times, it can seem overwhelming or exhausting to keep up with everything we need to do to support our mental well-being. Sometimes, the most helpful changes aren’t big or complicated, but simple, everyday habits to include in our daily routine. When we check in with ourselves, it is helpful [...]
Anxiety Visualized as a Thief
We are all acquainted with anxiety to one degree or another. Our minds become preoccupied with thoughts such as: “What if I’m missing something?” or “What if I look like a fool in front of these new people?” When questions like these swirl around in our minds unchecked, we can be kept in an anxious [...]
Nature’s Free TherapyÂ
When was the last time you went to a park? Do you take breaks to go outside during your day?  A growing body of research indicates that spending time in nature can reduce stress, increase feelings of happiness, and promote overall well-being. A study conducted by the University of Michigan found that spending just 20 [...]
Summer Time Sadness: Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Summer
We often hear of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) occurring in the winter, when the days are shorter, typically lacking sunshine and warmth. Although most frequently presenting itself during the winter months, some individuals affected by SAD may experience it during the summer months, sometimes even ending in the fall or winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder presents [...]
The Power of a Positive Mindset
We’ve all heard about the placebo effect, where the positive outcomes of a treatment are more due to the patient’s belief that the treatment will work than to the actual treatment itself. For example, a patient believes taking a pill will improve their energy, not knowing that the pill is a sugar pill. But have [...]
Living Intentionally
As we go through our daily routine, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. Routines are a great shortcut to help the day run smoothly. However, they can also leave us feeling like we’re in a rut or going through the motions. This may lead to low mood, lack of motivation, [...]
Prioritizing Mental Wellness as an Introvert
If you are an introvert, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, drained, and even misunderstood. The idea of talking to others can be exhausting at times, and having alone time is necessary to recharge. To maintain mental health and well-being, developing self-care strategies that create balance and align with your needs is important. Â [...]
Gratitude for Our Day-to-Day
In a world of instant gratification and “keeping-up-with-the-Joneses," it is easy to begin to begrudge our day-to-day life. Our routine. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep life interesting by shaking up our “ordinary” lives now and then by going and doing something fun, novel, etc. What I am referencing here is more of the [...]
Progress is Progress, No Matter How Small
I have noticed a trend (even in myself) to discount small steps in progress. We impatiently compare ourselves to one of our goals and, instead of focusing on how far we’ve come, we tend to focus on how far we have yet to go. Our self-talk tends to feel more like self-flagellation rather than encouragement. [...]
Mental “Spring Cleaning”
As physical clutter can be distracting, so can unprocessed emotions. As human beings, it is easy for our brains to get cluttered in negative thoughts, unresolved emotions, and more to-do items than we have time to handle. This all can build in our minds and result in stress, anxiety and burnout. Making time to sit [...]
Making the Case for Co-parenting Counseling
As a Family Court mediator in the Washington, D.C., court system, I witness the stress and difficult emotions separated parents experience when trying to co-parent their shared children. Some of the parents I work with are ending a marriage or long-term relationship, while others were together only long enough to create their child. Regardless of [...]
Developing Media Literacy in an Online World
We live in an extraordinary age. We have the ability to answer almost all questions and explore topics beyond our wildest dreams with the touch of one button. Google, and the internet at large, has allowed for any and everything to be available to us. With so much available to us at all times, how [...]
How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life
In the fast-paced world we live in today stress and anxiety seem to have become an integral part of our daily routines. Mental health challenges are no longer isolated issues but a widespread experience, affecting millions. While there is no magic cure for these challenges, one powerful tool lies within each of us: our ability [...]
What is Love?
There are many different ways many different people will define love. Mister Rogers said: “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” I believe that to be true. [...]
The Importance of Consistency & Routine
It’s understandable that many of us have, at one point or another struggled to maintain a routine or even create one to stick by. There are times we encounter a setback that pulls us away, like an unexpected event that takes priority of our focus. Perhaps we even become overwhelmed at some point. Though these [...]
Exercise and Mental Health
Exercise is a regular part of a healthy lifestyle. Moving our bodies is an important part of our cardiorespiratory health, improving bone density, and reducing the risk of developing various diseases including cardiovascular disease, type II diabetes, and certain cancers. Studies have shown that human beings may have an innate drive to move based on [...]
Nurturing Your Mind, Body, and Spirit: Self-Care Journal Prompts for Your Well-Being
Self-care isn't just about pampering ourselves with bubble baths or a spa day—it’s a holistic practice that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. Tending to these three parts of ourselves is essential for maintaining the energy and balance we need to show up fully in our work, relationships, and daily commitments. But, self-care is deeply [...]
Try Something New this New Years
The allure of the New Year’s resolution compels many of us to begin creating a list of goals every December to be accomplished in the next year. Many of these goals focus on improving health, developing new habits, or making changes to our circumstances. The promise of a “new year, new you” entices many of [...]
Three Tips for Navigating Holiday Stress
Self-Care Tips for Dealing with Grief, Loneliness, and Family Tension The Hallmark Channel has made a fortune providing subscribers a vision of Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas as a wonderful festive time where problems are worked out by New Year, but it's not that way for most of us. Holiday escapism into holiday-themed movies, books and [...]
Creativity in Parenting
While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, we know that fostering a safe, nurturing environment can help children grow and build resilience. Parenting neurodivergent children can provide unique opportunities for caregivers to be creative in exploring their child’s world, preferences, and strengths. Below are a few prompts to guide parents in becoming curious about [...]
Election Self-Care
As election season approaches, it often brings significant stress for many individuals. The heightened emotions and contradicting views surrounding political campaigns can spark distressing debates and conflicts, straining relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. The overwhelming barrage of news content creates a sense of urgency and anxiety, complicating distinguishing fact from fiction. At the same [...]
ICYMI: HMT Celebrates Queer & Trans Community at Alexandria Pride Festival 2024
In June 2024, Healthy Minds clinicians celebrated Pride Month by volunteering at the annual Alexandria Pride Festival. We were excited to volunteer again this year! The city of Alexandria hosts a Pride festival to “offer residents a variety of events and opportunities to celebrate Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer + (LGBTQ+) Pride Month in [...]
Strengthening Therapeutic Connections Through Pets in Telehealth Therapy
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” - Not Sigmund Freud “I, as is well known, do not like cats. “ - SIGMUND FREUD The bond between people and their animals evolved through history, from utilitarian farm cats and hunting dogs to cherished family members in their own right. As people became more socially isolated, [...]
A New Year Newer You
The new year always rolls in with the promise of new beginnings and fresh starts. Many of us find it hard to resist the idea of initiating something new without much thought to unsuccessful attempts in the past. We are able to step outside of the thought loops which for some of us derail our [...]
Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?
It’s the holiday season. Before we are even able to put the Fall decorations away, the Christmas trees already have their lights on. Jingle Bells accompany us wherever we go to endorse our festive mood. Yet, the moods my clients bring to the office these days are often far from being festive. For many, the [...]
Healthy Boundaries
An overall theme I have been noticing is boundaries or lack of boundaries. With the holidays upon us, people have been struggling with issues concerning family, friends, trauma, loss, grief, etc. The holiday season brings up many emotions for people, the good, the bad and the ugly. How do we manage and cope with all [...]
If You Need Me, I’ll Be in My Pillow Fort.
Intentional Goal Setting and Honoring Your Inner Child Hello there. If we aren’t acquainted, I’m Maggie. Just your garden variety, anxiety-having, ADD-brained impostor syndrome toting LPC. Nice to meet you. I’ve noticed a trend in folks I encounter, including myself, with the change of the season. People are feeling a little uncertain about a direction [...]
The Process of Healing – What to Let Go of, What Do I keep?
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer ~ Albert Camus Healing is a complex process that involves physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. The process of healing may differ depending on the individual and the specific condition or ailment being treated, but there are some general principles that can [...]
Helping Clients Heal After Heartbreak
As a clinician supporting clients in the aftermath of a relationship’s ending, it is oftentimes a delicate and multi-faceted process. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that each client copes with the grief and sadness in a way that is unique to them. Being able to properly assess their unique [...]
Do you struggle with body image?
Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It encompasses everything from the shape of your body (including height and weight) to what you believe about your own appearance. Many of us internalize external messages starting at a young age that can [...]
Self-Care Exercises
What is self-care and why is it important? Self-care means taking care of oneself by engaging in activities that promote wellness. These areas of wellness include emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual, practical, and professional well-being. It is crucial that you address each of these areas to better cope with various stressors and find balance in [...]
Emotional Hunger vs. Physical Hunger
Have you ever used food to cope with stress or any other emotion? Sometimes people use food to avoid emotional discomfort or distract themselves from distressing thoughts. First, take a few deep breaths, and acknowledge that you’re human! It happens! Today, you are going to learn the difference between two different types of Hunger: Emotional [...]
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a relationship dynamic in which people display unhealthy attachment patterns of behavior to one another. The behaviors are hurtful, irresponsible, damaging, and destructive and are not only dangerous to themselves but to everyone involved. The imbalance of codependency can show up in many ways, but any relationship can take on codependent traits. Relationships [...]
On Being Self-Compassionate
“If my friend was struggling with the same thing I am, would I speak to them the way I just spoke to myself?” This is a question that I encourage clients to ask themselves when I hear them being overly self-critical. It serves as an introduction to the importance of exercising self-compassion when improving our [...]
Thinking Better and Avoiding Mind Traps
An important first step in changing how we think and developing the ability to recognize our distorted thinking is by developing an awareness of common “Mind Traps”. Mind traps are often a byproduct of our inner self-talk, but it is important to note that without some sort of “fact-checking” our inner self-talk is not always [...]
Diet & Exercise: Why It’s Easier Said Than Done
There's no doubt our diet affects mental health. Ugh, the same dance it seems: two steps forward, one step back. Try this, don’t eat that! So many frustrations when it comes to diet and exercise often lead to feelings of shame and overwhelm. I have a unique perspective on diet and exercise as a trauma [...]
The Art of Mindful Vacationing
If you're anything like me, you dread the post-vacation slump which often shows up bright and early the Monday morning following vacations. It's no secret vacations can be stressful and often times we set the bar extremely high. We try to cram in a plethora of experiences in a very short space of time. It shouldn't come [...]
On Saying Yes
Self care is all the rage and, in most articles, memes, and TikTok advice it’s all about saying no to things. That is something that is a challenge for many of us, and saying no is an important skill. That said, so is saying yes. When was the last time you said yes to something? [...]
Expressing Emotions
Expressing emotions doesn’t come naturally for all of us. Learning to recognize your emotion, label it and get curious about it can help build a healthier self-esteem and relationships with others. Unfortunately, ignoring emotions, pretending they don’t exist, and operating in silence can cause long-term emotional distress. Labeling Try practicing labeling, a simple technique to [...]
How to be an Ally During Pride Month and Throughout the Year
The month of June is an important month dedicated to the uplifting of LGBTQ+ voices, a celebration of LGBTQ+ culture and the support of LGBTQ+ rights. PRIDE is an acronym for Personal Rights in Defense and Education. No matter who you love or how you identify, everyone deserves to be safe, valued, equal, and proud. [...]
About Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a therapeutic technique that allows your brain to reprocess a negative event, memory, or situation that has occurred in your life and gives you the ability to think about the event in a more adaptive way. Sometimes when an event like that occurs, the brain gets stuck [...]
Sometimes It’s Not Just One Thing That Can Help Us Maintain our Healing
Over the past few years, it has been both a personal and professional observation that the people who have been successful on their mental health wellness path utilize many different coping strategies and coping skills. Often, I think we all sometimes, in one form or another, look for the “quick fix” or the one thing [...]
The Productivity Paradox
How many times have you found yourself with a canceled appointment and you frantically looked for something to do to fill that space? We’ve all been there. Not wanting to waste a single moment of possible productivity.  Somewhere along the way we’ve managed to attach our happiness and success to our productivity. This has resulted [...]
Five Morning Routines to Start Your Day Off Right
This month for Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share five morning routines that can help start your day off right. Taking time for self-care is so important - even the smallest change in routine devoted to self-care can make a big difference in your day. Here are Five Helpful Morning Routines:Â 1. Meditation: [...]
How to Help a Loved one with Depression
Many people have either experienced depression themselves or at least know of one or more people who have suffered from depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 17.3 million American adults in the U.S suffer from depression. Symptoms of Depression:Â You or a loved one may be suffering from depression if you [...]
Where Self-Compassion and Boundaries Intersect
Self-compassion and boundary-setting are two things that I find myself very energized to work with in the therapy space. When I heard Brené Brown speaking about the intersection between these two topics (on a recent episode of Armchair Expert) I knew I wanted to elaborate further. What Do Compassionate People Have In Common? Let’s first [...]
A Mental Health Take-Away from “March Madness”
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Intensions and Uncertainty If you turn on your television over the next few weeks you can enjoy the physical, emotional, and psychological ride of college athletics through “March Madness.” In the spirit of these student-athletes, let's take a moment to feel into their reality of uncertainty when it comes [...]
Intention setting: a better way to start the day
How often do you hit the snooze on your alarm and rush through your morning routine when you finally get out of bed? Maybe you do get up when your alarm goes off the first time, but you immediately start thinking of the many things on your to-do list for the day. Either way, we [...]
Techniques for Time Management
Do you ever catch yourself saying “I just don’t have time!” or “I wish I had time for that.” Or maybe you notice that despite your best efforts, something keeps slipping through the cracks. Time is tricky. Here are some tips and techniques to help you manage your time better. Pomodoro Technique This is a [...]
Scavenger hunt, anyone?
So, who doesn't like a good scavenger hunt? Not only are they fun, but scavenger hunts also help children work on essential skills like problem-solving. It also helps to reinforce act-out methods they have been taught by parents or teachers in a physical way, leading to increased retention. They are also easy to customize to [...]
I Think My Child is Having Mental Health Issues – Now What?
Parenting is not for the faint of heart Parenting a child during their middle and high school years can present unique challenges in normal times. Throw in a global pandemic, social justice reckoning, climate change (insert your kiddo’s stressor) and it certainly doesn’t get any easier. If you are the parent of a tween or [...]
Thoughts on Nedra Tawaab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace
You need it. The first time I heard about this book was on Good Morning America. I go through phases where I like to have the morning news on in the background as I drink my coffee and begin working through yesterday’s documentation. This day, Nedra appeared for a few short minutes to speak on [...]
Helping Kids with Deep Breathing
Children regularly have big emotions, and it can be more difficult for them to calm down than it is for adults. Sometimes even when we tell kids to take a deep breath they start hyperventilating, coughing, or choking. They may need a little extra help. First we want to educate children on why deep breathing [...]
Cognitive Distortions: 10 Examples of Distorted Thinking
A cognitive distortion can be defined as faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception, or belief. Negativity is often the defining characteristic. For some of us, distorted thinking is a momentary blip. We get upset when we fail a test. We briefly reason that we’re bad at whatever the test was on instead of realizing we need [...]
Let’s Move Towards Nuance in the New Year
The New Year is symbolic for me. Time may be made-up, but it is a made-up system that rules our lives. And there’s just something nice and fresh feeling about January 1st. I do not expect to turn into Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, but I do believe in moving into a new year [...]
5 Tips for Improved Mindfulness Walking in 2022
IT TOOK A STORM TO HELP ME BE PRESENT! Walking for 50 minutes at the end of each day is routine for me. I lace up, insert my Air Pods, select a playlist, and off I go. I pass dogs on leashes, food delivery people, kids on the playground… I think you get the picture. [...]
How Loneliness Impacts The Workplace
Technology allows us to speak with others across the country and around the world without having to leave the office. While these modern-day opportunities may be convenient, they can actually be contributing to loneliness. As human beings, we all have an innate need to be connected to others, to belong. Loneliness pulls us away from [...]
The Holidays as an Opportunity to Grow
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling This time of year is as emotionally colorful as the lights we see in store windows.  Holidays, like other yearly marked events, offer us an opportunity to look inside our hearts to see where we have arrived as of now.  We may find ourselves not just reflecting on ourselves but also [...]
Fears About the Future and Anticipatory Anxiety
Anticipatory anxiety is the worry that creeps in when there are uncertainties about the future. We often become focused on the things we can’t predict or even make sense of. In that space, our minds begin to entertain the negative possibilities and “what ifs”. This type of anxiety can be seen in our everyday lives [...]
Using Your Anxiety as A Trigger for Taking Action
What is to give light must endure burning. Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. ~ Viktor Frankl; Man’s Search for Meaning For many people today, anxiety is typically [...]
The Holidays and Being Body Positive
The Holidays can be a magical time of year. For many people the holidays are a time for giving, making memories, spending quality time with loved ones, and… eating good food! Unfortunately, many of us can fall into engagement with negative self-talk resulting in feelings of shame and guilt during this time of year when [...]
The Value of Exploring Our Experiences Using More Curiosity and Less Judgment
Shifting a judgmental mindset. An essential component in my approach to therapy involves assisting clients to see things clearly, rather than in a biased, judgmental way. Our judging minds typically conceal a wider, more realistic picture of our life experiences, ourselves, and of others. This skewed inaccurate view often results in our emotional suffering in [...]
Break Through Resistance
It happens to all of us. We make a commitment to change, and then, resistance hits. Unexpected barriers, that we don’t know how to deal with, can be one of the biggest reasons that we don’t achieve our goals. Resistance can easily discourage us and give us reasons not to change. For some people, resistance [...]
Spoiler Alert: Comparative Suffering Helps No One
Comparison is the key part of comparative suffering. We try to rank suffering and privilege. Who has more? Who has it better or worse than me? What are they doing that I am not? In an attempt to create a hierarchy of feeling, we are actually impeding empathy and compassion. Comparative suffering can work in two insidious [...]
Sleep Hygiene
Sleep. We love it, we hate it. It can be a source of rest, but also a source of stress. When 50-70 million people in the United States suffer from a diagnosable sleep disorder, it’s clear that it is a prevalent issue. It affects our physical, mental, and emotional health. Just like you brush your [...]
How to Cope with your Eating Disorder and the Holidays
Dr. Michael Deitz at Healthy Minds Therapy continues the conversation about eating disorders. The holidays are stressful times but they are especially stressful for someone recovering from an eating disorder when so much emphasis is put on food. Just remember, it is just one day! Eating Disorders Part 2  In case you missed it, [...]
Common Holiday Relapse Triggers
As we approach the holiday season, there is a shift in the world as we enter what is typically considered a wonderful and joyous time of the year. Unfortunately, amidst all this joy and merriment there can also be increased stress. This stress can stem from the financial burden of giving gifts, entertaining company, or [...]
Tips for New Moms with Anxiety and OCD
Have you recently had a baby and are struggling with new mom anxiety? You are not alone. 85% of new moms develop some form of sadness and anxiety during the postpartum period. A common anxiety-related mental-health condition that can develop is hypochondria and OCD. Hypochondria is atypical levels of anxiety regarding one’s health or the [...]
Decision Making in a Pandemic: Doing The “Right” Thing
Some of us are more risk-averse than others, and some of us love adventure and trying new things. Risk-taking sounds like a bad thing, but it is really just a fancy way of describing adventurousness and courage. Risk-taking is impacted by a lot of individual factors, like age, life experience, and perception. So those of [...]
Thoughts on Empathy
Recently a friend who was in the process of moving was telling me how stressful it was for her. This led me to reflect on my own stressful experiences with moving. Looking back on how I responded to her, I realize that I became so caught up in my own thoughts that I did not [...]
Exercise and Mental Health
When I was a teenager I thoroughly enjoyed sports, such a volleyball and horseback riding. I left high school and when I went to college I no longer participated in these fun sports. This was when I began to notice my mental health was suffering. College was hard work, stressful, and time-consuming. I tried to [...]
The Myth About Mindfulness
Mindfulness... it doesn't work. This is a common concern I hear from clients, and it usually includes a recent story about how breathing didn't help calm them down when they were in the midst of a panic attack. Of course it didn't work. Mindfulness is an incredible tool, but it's not the only useful coping [...]
10 Ways to Build and Maintain Boundaries
Many people know what the word “boundaries” means, but they have no idea what they are. You might think of boundaries as something like a wired fence or a brick wall used to keep people out. Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. They reinforce self-love and self-respect by limiting the access that [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
Up to 40% of our mood can be determined by our daily actions. This research finding is good news. It means that we can have a significant impact on improving our mood. If you are looking for some ways to beat a bad mood, try some of the strategies below. Guard your sleep Sleep deprivation [...]
Figuring Out Rest
How do you like to rest? Okay, I know that might feel like a silly question to some (I don’t know Jack, on my side, with a pillow between my legs?), but I want you to think a little bit deeper than just your preferred sleeping positions. I am talking about how you fill your [...]
There is No Such Thing as Happiness (As We Commonly Know it)
“There is no such thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, in such a way that no one may isolate them.” ~ Jean Toomer, Cane What is happiness and what does it really mean to find happiness? Is it even possible? I have always found it interesting both in my personal and [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 2)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. Here are 10 additional mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find more peace [...]
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are very serious mental health conditions with physical ramifications. There are a lot of false narratives spread throughout society. Eating disorders affect about 30 million Americans at some point in their lives. Many factors can lead to an eating disorder such as environmental influences, genetic influences, and trauma influences. Dr. Deitz has worked [...]
Thoughts on Slowing Down when Overwhelmed
As we near the end of summer there is a dampening of the energy that was here earlier in the year. People are experiencing transitions in their lives as they return to working onsite, as they distance, again, and as they experience other changes in their lives including returning to school. With these, there can [...]
Responses to Trauma: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
You’ve likely heard of fight, flight, or freeze as responses to a threat. The fourth option, fawn, is less commonly taught. Also known as The Four Fs of trauma, these are automatic coping mechanisms for actual and/or perceived experiences of an activating, stressful, or traumatic event. Let’s break these terms down even further. Fight If [...]
Misconceptions About Therapy
It is not uncommon to have some people’s first appointments with me go a little like this: “I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t think I really need therapy but my (mom, dad, sibling, friend) suggested it so I figured, why not?” When I ask them why they think they do not need [...]
Stress Management: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is an incredible skill to help manage stress, anxiety, panic, and any unpleasant feeling. It’s also great if you just want to relax! It’s a great way to ground your mind AND your body and can be done anywhere. How It Works You can either find a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise [...]
How to Get Over Fear
We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 1)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. 10 Mindfulness Exercises Here are 10 mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find [...]
Weeds in a Neighbor’s Yard
There is an invasive weed in the neighbor’s yard, and I wanted to say something about it. I even thought of going over there and offering to help pull the weeds but was reminded that it was not for me to pull the weeds in the neighbor’s yard. I will let them continue to work [...]
Focus on The Chips, Not The Air – Shifting Your Mindset
We have all been there, in a line at the grocery store or sandwich shop with a tasty bag of chips in our hand. Maybe sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, barbecue, or even just a classic kettle-cooked! Imagine your taste buds starting to tingle as you anticipate being able to open up that [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]
How to Deal with Transition
With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]
Can’t Stop Ruminating? Let’s Talk About WHAT You Can Do
I have quite a few clients come to me who have trouble with rumination. Something negative happened in the past, maybe it was yesterday or maybe it was a few years ago. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we cannot stop thinking about certain things. Common questions we ask ourselves when ruminating are “Why [...]
A Different Perspective on Fear
Fear is very pertinent to most people and many of my clients, especially in this day and age. Fear is a great cause of suffering. It stops us from being healthy, prevents us from being successful, keeps us from developing relationships that are helpful, and stops us from being at peace. But at the same [...]
Tips to Prevent Relapse
Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use. Relapse and the Recovery [...]
Connecting On A Bridge
When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]
Spiral Grounding Technique
The Spiral Technique is really great for when a disturbing thought or memory seems to keep coming up for you in daily life. It is a technique that helps to take the focus off of the disturbance and the sensations that come up in your body when you think of this event. Here is how [...]
Starting Therapy—A Profound Act of Self-Care
Therapy is not just for dealing with a crisis. It can be beneficial for anyone dealing with mental health challenges, experiencing high levels of stress or who simply wants to gain more knowledge and awareness. Therapy can be a great place to learn and practice new skills as people take on changes and stressors associated [...]
What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?
When you think of self-care, I’m sure a few different things come to mind. Relaxing, doing yoga, getting a massage, putting on your favorite mud mask until your face is so tight you can’t smile…. Yes, all these things are great. But are they really the basis of what grounds you and makes you feel [...]
Using a Client’s Passion or Interest as a Therapeutic Tool
Often as therapists, we can find our clients, and ourselves, for that matter, stuck where we are both connected but some emotion or behavior or techniques are bearing no “fruit”. I often find a change in perspective at what my clients are trying to work through is especially useful. Often this is accomplished by “thinking [...]
The Difference Between an Anxiety Attack and a Panic Attack
Often used interchangeably, the terms Panic Attack and Anxiety Attack are used to describe intense emotional and physiological distress. Is there a difference? Yes, let’s learn! Differences between Emotional and Physiological Distress: First, let’s discuss how they are similar. Anxiety attacks and panic attacks can result in some of the same symptoms. For example, many [...]
Thoughts on Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is something that many of us struggle with. We are sometimes hard on ourselves as we strive to do better or live up to expectations that we set for ourselves. It can be a heavyweight to carry. Many years ago, I attended a talk on the Dalai Lama’s book How to Be Compassionate. I [...]
“Pretzel Breathing Technique” for Children
Sometimes we tend to tell our children to calm down without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Today’s technique I want to share with you all is a good exercise for kids to experience calmness and reduce anxiety. This technique, called the “Pretzel Breathing Technique,” is a quick [...]
Do I Own My Story or Does My Story Own Me?
When it comes to trauma, we as counselors must assess the trauma narrative continuum, which is the degree to which our clients “own” their stories and to what degree the stories “own” our clients. I learned this concept from a one-time supervisor and now mentor and friend. I found it immediately relatable in my own [...]
Conceptualizations
I have noticed in my work with couples and individuals that people often remain in a state of suffering because of their own conceptualizations. We hold on to things like “it is your fault” or “I am right, and you are wrong” type conceptualizations. This way of being keeps us in a place of feeling [...]
Recognizing Transference
Have you ever had an experience where someone reminds you of a person you have known before and you view and interact with them as you did with that person from your past? If so, you may be experiencing transference. Transference Can Be Positive or Negative Transference occurs when a person directs feelings and experiences [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 1
I see many clients who battle with a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation can range from struggling to keep up with daily chores, to feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning. If you are feeling unmotivated to engage in activities you used to enjoy, this can be concerning to some people. Feeling [...]
The Impact of Anxiety and Fear
“Life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is a guide as well as an enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient's awareness and vitality.” ~Irvin [...]
Commonalties in The Therapeutic Process and The Practice of Aikido
A Personal Experience As both Aikido instructor and practitioner, I am often amazed at the commonalities between the practice of Aikido, and the therapeutic process. The objective in Aikido is to join one’s personal ki (energy) with universal ki to achieve harmony (ai). Aikido stresses working with a partner, rather than wrestling or fighting against [...]
How The Past Changes Present Perception and EMDR Therapy
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapeutic technique geared towards the treatment of trauma or disturbing events. The technique works to target specific events that are remembered as distressing and take the emotional response to these events out of the memory. Doing so can often help to stop triggering experiences, flashbacks, and [...]
The Power of Assertive Communication
One key component of any healthy relationship is communication. And it is important to not just communicate but to communicate effectively. One way to ensure this is done is to use assertive communication techniques. Assertive communication occurs when an individual is able to state their own needs, wants, and feelings directly and confidently, while also [...]
We Must Talk About The Asian American Story
Have you heard of or seen the viral video of the 91-year-old man being shoved, on camera, in Oakland’s Chinatown? Or the 84-year-old Thai American man who was killed in an unprovoked attack in San Francisco? What about the 64-year-old Vietnamese American woman who was assaulted in broad daylight in San Jose, and robbed of [...]
Three Things to Do for a Life Well Lived
Last year gave all of us the opportunity to tune into what is most important to us as we have wrestled with what it means to navigate our new circumstances and find joy. But what exactly brings us joy? What exactly is a life well-lived, and how can we set ourselves up to be happier [...]
What is Unconditional Love, Really?
Years ago, I bought my best friend a very expensive gift, despite things being tight financially for me. I did this because I adored this friend. She truly wanted this gift. It meant a lot to her and I wanted more than anything to make her happy. I wanted her to know how important she [...]
Three Myths About Emotions
Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question. Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]
Depression During A Pandemic: Coping Skills To Combat The Blues
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Depression saps a person’s energy to do just about anything. As a result, people tend to become less active, which causes the depression to worsen. This has been the case for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Some behavioral activation may be beneficial to help stop [...]
Finding Your Snowflake in this 2020 Blizzard: A Quick Guide to Holiday Grief and Loss
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The holiday season is upon us and life is marching forward, but for some, your minds and your hearts are standing still, grieving the death of a loved one amidst what feels like an incoming storm. Even if the loss is from the past, holiday time [...]
You’ve Got This! Three Holistic Steps to Managing Anxiety
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The two most important things to understand about anxiety are that it is universally experienced and that it is holistically managed. You are absolutely not alone in experiencing anxiety, though it can feel that way. Anxiety symptoms can impact our emotional, physical and spiritual health. [...]
How to Take a Break from an Argument: The Right Way
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor The holiday season can be stressful… not to mention, we are amidst a pandemic and coming down from a very tense election season. Although family gatherings may be limited this year, it is likely we will be in more frequent communication with various relatives. If you are in a [...]
10 Ways To Elevate Mood During A Pandemic
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia We are well under eight months into the current COVID-19 pandemic that started back in early March. For some, the pandemic has been the perfect opportunity for rest, reconnecting with those we lost touch with and completing tasks we’ve been putting off for some time now. [...]
Thoughts on Stressful Conversations
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident In Counseling in Northern Virginia There are difficult conversations taking place as we experience worry concerning different areas of our lives. A lot has happened during the past six plus months and it has been a stressful time for many of us. I wrote about communication in a previous post [...]
Character Strengths
By Bruce Craig, Resident in Counseling Often in our society we are taught or conditioned to look at our weaknesses and constantly try to improve them. This approach can be limiting and make real growth almost impossible in some situations. This often leads to negative self-talk and a lowered self-esteem. I encourage people to instead, [...]
Mentally Preparing for the Holidays
As we near the end of October, it is natural for couples to begin to discuss holiday plans. Holiday planning can be stressful, but this year has the added stress of the pandemic and COVID-19 concerns. Why do the holidays bring up so much stress? The holidays often include a lot of physical and emotional [...]
Couples, COVID, and Cabin Fever
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Back at the beginning of 2020 weren’t we all wishing we could spend more quality time at home with our loved ones or our partners? When true quality time was only able to be squeezed into the weekends or maybe weeknights (if the dishes got put away and the [...]
5 Ways To Create And Preserve Healthier Boundaries
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling For many of us, building boundaries is a relatively new and challenging concept. Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and a healthy life. Creating and preserving boundaries is a skill that not many of us learn. Here are five ways to build better boundaries and maintain them: Tune into [...]
EMDR and You
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Throughout our lives, we sometimes experience disturbing or distressing events. These events, which can be called traumas, can occur in the form of a big, life altering event (a “Big T” Trauma) such as a natural disaster or the death of a loved one, or [...]
Worry and Growth
By Jackie Carrera, MSEd, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia I’ve been thinking about the struggles that we have been experiencing during this stay-at-home period. It has been a challenging time and many people are experiencing a lot of worry or fear. I have seen this in the art world, with friends, and hear it [...]
Remembering why we love each other
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Frequently I have clients come in stating that “nothing is particularly wrong” in their relationship or in their marriage, but lately the spark is not there any longer, arguments occur more often and easily and the arguments seem trivial. Both individuals just seem more [...]
Box Breathing Exercise
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia We are headed towards fall weather! While some may be excited by the change of seasons, others may be worried about what the colder weather might mean for their ability to use calming techniques like being outside or going on a walk. As we transition [...]
What’s Your “Upside Down” Magic?
This weekend my family watched the movie, “Upside Down Magic,” for movie night. In the movie, a group of young children are deemed misfits because of their “wonky, ” “unorthodox,” and “upside down” magic. When the school gets attacked by “Shadow Magic,” the children must confront the parts of them they once avoided to rediscover [...]
Two Arrows (Emotional Objectivity)
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia There is a Buddhist metaphor that I have found to be a great way to think about emotional objectivity. When something difficult happens in life, as can be expected from time to time, we often internalize how we feel about it subjectively. This is where [...]
Keeping It REAL as a Parent!
By Mary Jackson, MSW is a Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern Virginia Parents…this one is for you! Have you ever had one of those days when you feel as if you are going to LOSE IT? Recently I did. It wasn’t just parenting that had me overwhelmed. It was the sum of EVERYTHING. [...]
Find Your Calm or Safe Place – A Relaxation Technique
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia This time of the year is rife with transitions, which can be stressful for everyone. Especially with the pandemic continuing, we are under a lot of pressure as the new school year begins and children start classes online or adults try to figure out childcare. [...]
Cultivating Positive Mental Focus – Part 4
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In everything and everyone we encounter in life there will be aspects we appreciate and aspects we maybe don’t prefer. As we discussed in earlier articles of this series our minds naturally focus on the negative first because this was necessary in some ways for [...]
Strategies for Good Communication
By Shelton Piland, Supervisee in Clinical Social Work in Northern, VA Why do you need good communication? To put it simply, good communication can make or break any kind of relationship. Whether it's in business, with a friend, a family member or a significant other. Communication is vital for conveying feelings, giving instructions, and building [...]
Self-care ideas!
By Kayla White, M.A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Resident in Counseling If you are anything like me, practicing self-care and self-love can often get placed on the back burner. Also, I am not a proclaimed morning person, so other than those things I NEED to do, I've learned they likely won't get done until I'm [...]
Working with Thoughts – Part 3
By Bruce Craig, MA, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia  In the first couple of articles in this series we focused on noticing our emotions objectively and learning how to not be reactive to them. This is a constant lifelong practice that we can get better at over time and we should also remember [...]
Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality
When Body Positivity Seems Impossible, Aim for Body Neutrality By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia The idea that a woman’s body should look a certain way has been reinforced through social media, movies, magazines and even our parents. This concept doesn’t only apply to women, but men as well. Societal standards have [...]
Attitude of Gratitude: Finding Light in the Darkness of Pandemic
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia The past few months have been really hard. Starting with the onset of the Coronavirus in March, there has been a lot of darkness that we as a society have had to deal with! There has been so much focus on self-preservation and making [...]
When “Fake it til’ you Make it” Doesn’t Work
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor  Many of us have heard the sentiment “fake it until you make it.” It implies that if you can imitate or pretend to have certain qualities or emotions like happiness, confidence, or competence that you will eventually obtain them genuinely. While this works for some people, it does [...]