Self-reflection is a powerful tool for growth when done properly. It should be done with intention and compassion. But self-reflection can be confusing, especially when most people have some sense of awareness and insight. Here are some simple dos and don’ts to get you started! ✅ DO: Be Curious Healthy self-reflection starts with curiosity to [...]
Category: Therapy
Why Play Therapy
When children are struggling, they often struggle with pinpointing or finding the words to articulate what they may be feeling. As adults, we tend to process our emotional experiences by talking them through, but kids often communicate differently. They reveal what is happening internally through their play. This is where play therapy comes in.  What [...]
Winter Reflection and the Eight Cs of Self-Leadership
Winter has arrived. Snow drifts softly from the sky, blanketing the world in quiet. The air is crisp, cheeks glow ruddy from the cold, and comfort can be found in steaming mugs of coffee, hearty soups, and sturdy snowboots. The sun lingers only briefly before surrendering to the long stretch of evening darkness. As night [...]
How to Practice Self-Care in the Winter
The changing seasons throughout the year can often result in changes in our mood and mental health. Many people experience increased sadness and a lack of energy in the winter months, as the days get colder and shorter. Incorporating self-care into our routines can help to combat the negative effects of winter and support our [...]
Holding Grief During the Holiday Season
Loss is one of the most difficult and universal experiences we have as humans. Around the holidays, many people experience a renewed sense of grief, sadness, anger, and longing for people or relationships they have lost over their lives. While it can be hard to experience these emotions, it is important to understand that the [...]
Understanding Therapy
Therapy is a private and supportive space where you talk with a trained professional about your thoughts, feelings, and challenges. It's a place to better understand yourself and learn ways to feel and cope better. Here are the different types of therapy:Â Individual Therapy: One-on-one with the clinician In one-on-one therapy, what you share with [...]
Grieving During the Holidays
This time of year can be especially difficult for those grieving. The losses we experience can be losing a loved one, losing a pet, a home, or a job. In the absence of those we love and things we cherish, we are grieving the sense of security and stability they’ve once brought us. Grief can [...]
Helping Your Child Communicate Their Feelings and Needs
Understanding Big Feelings in Small Bodies Supporting your child’s emotional communication can feel tricky, especially when big feelings show up in small bodies. Children under 10 are still developing the brain structures and language needed to understand and express what they feel. It’s normal for them to struggle to find the right words or to [...]
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to raise awareness about the impact of domestic violence and highlight the resources available for those affected. Domestic violence is a prevalent issue that impacts individuals and families across all demographics, taking many forms, including physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. Understanding the resources that are available is [...]
Everyday Mindfulness
If you’ve been in therapy (or on the internet in general), then you’ve probably been introduced to the concept of “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is often described in a similar vein to meditation: done in a quiet place, maybe with some soft music, in a comfortable position, for five to ten minutes. While this may be the [...]
When Your Child Is Self-Harming (or Threatening To): A Gentle, Clear Guide for Parents
If your child is in immediate danger, call 911 (or your local emergency number). In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741 for Crisis Text Line. First: take a slow breath with me Finding out your child is hurting themself (or thinking about [...]
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
Have you ever been told that you are “too sensitive”? Or maybe you’ve noticed that you’re especially affected by violence, pain, conflict, or can become easily overstimulated by your environment? You are not “too much” or “too emotional”. It might be that you are what psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron describes as a “highly sensitive person” [...]
Are my boundaries being violated?
Boundaries are limits we have set in our personal or professional lives that help protect our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. When boundaries are crossed, there can be a wide range of signs/symptoms, including mild discomfort to significant clinical distress. But sometimes, it’s hard to know if it is a genuine boundary violation or miscommunication, [...]
How to Sit With Your Feelings
What are feelings? Most of us weren’t taught how to actually feel our feelings. Many times, to survive, we brushed off our emotions, tried to hide them, or forced ourselves to “overcome” them. But our emotions don’t go away because we ignore them. Our emotions are smart; they wait, come back, and sometimes come back [...]
Nature’s Free TherapyÂ
When was the last time you went to a park? Do you take breaks to go outside during your day?  A growing body of research indicates that spending time in nature can reduce stress, increase feelings of happiness, and promote overall well-being. A study conducted by the University of Michigan found that spending just 20 [...]
What to Consider When Looking for a Therapist
Seeking support for your mental health is a big step, and it can be hard to know where to start once you’ve decided to try (or return to) talk therapy. Start by asking yourself whether virtual or in-person therapy is more suitable for you and your life. While there are many opinions out there on [...]
Summer Time Sadness: Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Summer
We often hear of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) occurring in the winter, when the days are shorter, typically lacking sunshine and warmth. Although most frequently presenting itself during the winter months, some individuals affected by SAD may experience it during the summer months, sometimes even ending in the fall or winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder presents [...]
The Power of a Positive Mindset
We’ve all heard about the placebo effect, where the positive outcomes of a treatment are more due to the patient’s belief that the treatment will work than to the actual treatment itself. For example, a patient believes taking a pill will improve their energy, not knowing that the pill is a sugar pill. But have [...]
Living Intentionally
As we go through our daily routine, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. Routines are a great shortcut to help the day run smoothly. However, they can also leave us feeling like we’re in a rut or going through the motions. This may lead to low mood, lack of motivation, [...]
Prioritizing Mental Wellness as an Introvert
If you are an introvert, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, drained, and even misunderstood. The idea of talking to others can be exhausting at times, and having alone time is necessary to recharge. To maintain mental health and well-being, developing self-care strategies that create balance and align with your needs is important. Â [...]
Do We Need Couples Counseling or Discernment Counseling?
When couples face significant relationship struggles, seeking professional help can be a transformative step. However, not all couples therapy approaches serve the same purpose. Two common but distinct paths are discernment counseling and couples counseling. Understanding the differences between these approaches can help you choose the right fit for your unique situation. What is Discernment [...]
Progress is Progress, No Matter How Small
I have noticed a trend (even in myself) to discount small steps in progress. We impatiently compare ourselves to one of our goals and, instead of focusing on how far we’ve come, we tend to focus on how far we have yet to go. Our self-talk tends to feel more like self-flagellation rather than encouragement. [...]
Mental “Spring Cleaning”
As physical clutter can be distracting, so can unprocessed emotions. As human beings, it is easy for our brains to get cluttered in negative thoughts, unresolved emotions, and more to-do items than we have time to handle. This all can build in our minds and result in stress, anxiety and burnout. Making time to sit [...]
Making the Case for Co-parenting Counseling
As a Family Court mediator in the Washington, D.C., court system, I witness the stress and difficult emotions separated parents experience when trying to co-parent their shared children. Some of the parents I work with are ending a marriage or long-term relationship, while others were together only long enough to create their child. Regardless of [...]
When There Is No Fix
Sometimes in life, we may find ourselves facing circumstances that are beyond our control. We may notice increases in anxiety, depression, and hopelessness as we try to make sense of our world. We can busy ourselves trying to “fix” the problem in an attempt to find some way to feel more settled in the chaos. [...]
Developing Media Literacy in an Online World
We live in an extraordinary age. We have the ability to answer almost all questions and explore topics beyond our wildest dreams with the touch of one button. Google, and the internet at large, has allowed for any and everything to be available to us. With so much available to us at all times, how [...]
Redefining Love this February: Self-Love is Essential
February is filled with symbols of love, like red roses, pink hearts, sweet chocolates, and romantic gestures. In today’s society, it is a month to celebrate love in relationships. But what if we begin by reconsidering what love truly means? Social pressure encourages prioritizing others in relationships and self-lessness, but is loving yourself actually selfish? [...]
How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life
In the fast-paced world we live in today stress and anxiety seem to have become an integral part of our daily routines. Mental health challenges are no longer isolated issues but a widespread experience, affecting millions. While there is no magic cure for these challenges, one powerful tool lies within each of us: our ability [...]
A Guide to Trauma Writing
Processing trauma through writing involves telling the story and expressing the deep emotional impact of the traumatic experience. Writing helps to organize thoughts and emotions, which can alleviate the distress caused by traumatic and stressful events. With repeated writing, people often shift their language and narrative structure, creating a more coherent story that fosters deeper reflection [...]
What is Love?
There are many different ways many different people will define love. Mister Rogers said: “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” I believe that to be true. [...]
The Importance of Consistency & Routine
It’s understandable that many of us have, at one point or another struggled to maintain a routine or even create one to stick by. There are times we encounter a setback that pulls us away, like an unexpected event that takes priority of our focus. Perhaps we even become overwhelmed at some point. Though these [...]
10 Black Pioneers in the Mental Health Field
Throughout Black History Month, our nation honors African Americans who have made great contributions to our country. Each year, Healthy Minds Therapy likes to take the opportunity to highlight Black pioneers in the mental health field who have made significant contributions to the treatment of mental illness and addiction this month. 10 Black Mental Health [...]
The Benefits of Pet Ownership
I recently saw a reel on Instagram of a woman covered in pet fur cleaning up a pet mess arguing that the pet mom life was a necessity. It was silly and funny and got me thinking about my own circumstances. I am a busy military spouse with 3 children, and a traveling husband, and [...]
Exercise and Mental Health
Exercise is a regular part of a healthy lifestyle. Moving our bodies is an important part of our cardiorespiratory health, improving bone density, and reducing the risk of developing various diseases including cardiovascular disease, type II diabetes, and certain cancers. Studies have shown that human beings may have an innate drive to move based on [...]
Adult Time Management: A New Perspective
How are those New Year’s resolutions and goals progressing? I recently came across a statistic revealing that only 25% of people stick with their goals beyond January. Many of my sessions during the winter months center on motivation and behavioral activation, as clients grapple with maintaining momentum. When it comes to managing time as an [...]
Nurturing Your Mind, Body, and Spirit: Self-Care Journal Prompts for Your Well-Being
Self-care isn't just about pampering ourselves with bubble baths or a spa day—it’s a holistic practice that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. Tending to these three parts of ourselves is essential for maintaining the energy and balance we need to show up fully in our work, relationships, and daily commitments. But, self-care is deeply [...]
Try Something New this New Years
The allure of the New Year’s resolution compels many of us to begin creating a list of goals every December to be accomplished in the next year. Many of these goals focus on improving health, developing new habits, or making changes to our circumstances. The promise of a “new year, new you” entices many of [...]
Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions: Alternatives for a More Intentional 2025
Since before the decorations were off the tree and all the Hanukkah candles were lit, I’ve been asking people about New Year’s resolutions. Not necessarily what those resolutions are, but how they feel about making them.  Some folks don’t bother making them because they feel it’s an exercise in failure. That was the view of [...]
Three Tips for Navigating Holiday Stress
Self-Care Tips for Dealing with Grief, Loneliness, and Family Tension The Hallmark Channel has made a fortune providing subscribers a vision of Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas as a wonderful festive time where problems are worked out by New Year, but it's not that way for most of us. Holiday escapism into holiday-themed movies, books and [...]
Creativity in Parenting
While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, we know that fostering a safe, nurturing environment can help children grow and build resilience. Parenting neurodivergent children can provide unique opportunities for caregivers to be creative in exploring their child’s world, preferences, and strengths. Below are a few prompts to guide parents in becoming curious about [...]
Look for the “saints” walking among us…
Imagine Dragon’s song “Demons” came on the other day, and, in the aftermath of recent hurricanes, its opening lines struck me differently than they had before. Before I explain, I would first like to clarify that I am not speaking to the victims of the hurricanes, nor am I proposing an interpretation of the song. [...]
Knit or Crochet Your Fears Away…
I have always been a crafter enjoying the time I spend sitting relaxing and participating in a repetitive task that eventually leads to a feeling of accomplishment. I especially like knitting and crocheting. I love the way my mind relaxes as my fingers work on the task getting better with each stitch. As an anxious [...]
ICYMI: HMT Celebrates Queer & Trans Community at Alexandria Pride Festival 2024
In June 2024, Healthy Minds clinicians celebrated Pride Month by volunteering at the annual Alexandria Pride Festival. We were excited to volunteer again this year! The city of Alexandria hosts a Pride festival to “offer residents a variety of events and opportunities to celebrate Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer + (LGBTQ+) Pride Month in [...]
Strengthening Therapeutic Connections Through Pets in Telehealth Therapy
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” - Not Sigmund Freud “I, as is well known, do not like cats. “ - SIGMUND FREUD The bond between people and their animals evolved through history, from utilitarian farm cats and hunting dogs to cherished family members in their own right. As people became more socially isolated, [...]
Avoiding Compassion Fatigue in an Online World
We live part of our lives online. Many of us have multiple social media accounts across many, many different apps. Online often feels inescapable. We are consistently being told about current events that we “must” care about. Oftentimes, we cannot avoid an article, a TikTok, or an Instagram reel about something happening in the world. [...]
Benefits of Psychotherapy
If you’re curious about therapy, it can be helpful to learn more about the unique benefits it offers for improving mental health.  One benefit of one-on-one talk therapy is the individualized nature of the treatment. Over time, often during weekly sessions, your therapist learns about you and your strengths, to help collaborate on a [...]
It’s Okay if there are “knots” this Holiday Season
Someone posted this on social media. I know it was meant to be a chuckle to get us through the stress of the holiday season and I feel most of us see it and identify deeply. Something else came to mind for me. A good friend’s grandmother extolled this: If a string is in a [...]
Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?
It’s the holiday season. Before we are even able to put the Fall decorations away, the Christmas trees already have their lights on. Jingle Bells accompany us wherever we go to endorse our festive mood. Yet, the moods my clients bring to the office these days are often far from being festive. For many, the [...]
Healthy Boundaries
An overall theme I have been noticing is boundaries or lack of boundaries. With the holidays upon us, people have been struggling with issues concerning family, friends, trauma, loss, grief, etc. The holiday season brings up many emotions for people, the good, the bad and the ugly. How do we manage and cope with all [...]
If You Need Me, I’ll Be in My Pillow Fort.
Intentional Goal Setting and Honoring Your Inner Child Hello there. If we aren’t acquainted, I’m Maggie. Just your garden variety, anxiety-having, ADD-brained impostor syndrome toting LPC. Nice to meet you. I’ve noticed a trend in folks I encounter, including myself, with the change of the season. People are feeling a little uncertain about a direction [...]
Anger Management
When we find ourselves angry with someone, my uncle once told me, we should ask ourselves, “What rule of mine was broken?” This question helps to shed light on the reason we became angry in the first place. Our rules can be about anything: how we believe we should be treated or spoken to; how [...]
Helping Clients Heal After Heartbreak
As a clinician supporting clients in the aftermath of a relationship’s ending, it is oftentimes a delicate and multi-faceted process. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that each client copes with the grief and sadness in a way that is unique to them. Being able to properly assess their unique [...]
Do you struggle with body image?
Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It encompasses everything from the shape of your body (including height and weight) to what you believe about your own appearance. Many of us internalize external messages starting at a young age that can [...]
What kind of parent are you?
Everyone wants to be a good parent. From the moment we decide to parent and raise a child, we start asking ourselves one of the most important and challenging questions – How do we actually do that? How should we raise our kids, so they grow up into successful, caring, and responsible adults? How should [...]
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a relationship dynamic in which people display unhealthy attachment patterns of behavior to one another. The behaviors are hurtful, irresponsible, damaging, and destructive and are not only dangerous to themselves but to everyone involved. The imbalance of codependency can show up in many ways, but any relationship can take on codependent traits. Relationships [...]
On Being Self-Compassionate
“If my friend was struggling with the same thing I am, would I speak to them the way I just spoke to myself?” This is a question that I encourage clients to ask themselves when I hear them being overly self-critical. It serves as an introduction to the importance of exercising self-compassion when improving our [...]
The Art of Mindful Vacationing
If you're anything like me, you dread the post-vacation slump which often shows up bright and early the Monday morning following vacations. It's no secret vacations can be stressful and often times we set the bar extremely high. We try to cram in a plethora of experiences in a very short space of time. It shouldn't come [...]
Dealing with Chronic Pain
Dopesick is a drama miniseries on Hulu and I believe on Disney Plus. The eight-part drama series is based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Beth Macy, examining the dreadful causes and effects of the opioid crisis unleashed in large part on the United States by Purdue Pharma, and its “non-addictive” painkiller [...]
On Saying Yes
Self care is all the rage and, in most articles, memes, and TikTok advice it’s all about saying no to things. That is something that is a challenge for many of us, and saying no is an important skill. That said, so is saying yes. When was the last time you said yes to something? [...]
What is Professional Burnout and How to Handle it
For those of us in the working field, heavy workloads and deadline pressures are things we have all experienced at some point in the job. Who doesn’t feel overwhelmed or stretched thin sometimes? But when relentless work stress pushes you into the debilitating state we call burnout, it is a serious problem. It affects not [...]
Expressing Emotions
Expressing emotions doesn’t come naturally for all of us. Learning to recognize your emotion, label it and get curious about it can help build a healthier self-esteem and relationships with others. Unfortunately, ignoring emotions, pretending they don’t exist, and operating in silence can cause long-term emotional distress. Labeling Try practicing labeling, a simple technique to [...]
Sometimes It’s Not Just One Thing That Can Help Us Maintain our Healing
Over the past few years, it has been both a personal and professional observation that the people who have been successful on their mental health wellness path utilize many different coping strategies and coping skills. Often, I think we all sometimes, in one form or another, look for the “quick fix” or the one thing [...]
Five Morning Routines to Start Your Day Off Right
This month for Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share five morning routines that can help start your day off right. Taking time for self-care is so important - even the smallest change in routine devoted to self-care can make a big difference in your day. Here are Five Helpful Morning Routines:Â 1. Meditation: [...]
Taking the Pressure Out of Intimacy
We often hear "healthy communication is key". But what happens when healthy communication still adds pressure? Being sexually intimate with our partners can seem easy in the beginning stages, sometimes referred to as the "honeymoon phase" but eventually the passion can die down, and maintaining a healthy sex life begins to require more communication and [...]
How to Help a Loved one with Depression
Many people have either experienced depression themselves or at least know of one or more people who have suffered from depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 17.3 million American adults in the U.S suffer from depression. Symptoms of Depression:Â You or a loved one may be suffering from depression if you [...]
Tips on Self-Care
How to add Self-Care to your daily routine. As the saying goes, "an empty tank will take you exactly nowhere. Take time to refuel." Self-care is not selfish so erase that concept from your mind. If anything, it benefits not only you but those who are around you. You cannot properly care for others [...]
No Show or Show Up?
Your First Counseling Session: Trying something new for the first time can cause quite a bit of anxiety. I felt pretty anxious before I went to my first barre class (you know, that trendy exercise fad right now combining Pilates, yoga and ballet?). I imagine this is what it feels like to start therapy for [...]
Remember Your Why
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling I was recently inspired by a client who carries a list she created to remind herself why she is committed to her job, even on the very tough days… People enter therapy for many different reasons, and it is truly a process unique to the individual. Addressing challenges and [...]
The Dangers of All or Nothing Thinking
All or nothing thinking, also known as black and white thinking, is a cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that result in feelings such as anxiety or depression. All or nothing thinking is when we look at things in extremes, see a situation as being either this way or that way, [...]
A Mental Health Take-Away from “March Madness”
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Intensions and Uncertainty If you turn on your television over the next few weeks you can enjoy the physical, emotional, and psychological ride of college athletics through “March Madness.” In the spirit of these student-athletes, let's take a moment to feel into their reality of uncertainty when it comes [...]
What is Social Work Anyway?
When I decided to go back to school later in life to pursue social work, I soon realized how many misconceptions there are around what social workers do. Many people assumed social workers’ only role was doing child protective work, which is no surprise since that is often how social workers are portrayed in the [...]
Scavenger hunt, anyone?
So, who doesn't like a good scavenger hunt? Not only are they fun, but scavenger hunts also help children work on essential skills like problem-solving. It also helps to reinforce act-out methods they have been taught by parents or teachers in a physical way, leading to increased retention. They are also easy to customize to [...]
I Think My Child is Having Mental Health Issues – Now What?
Parenting is not for the faint of heart Parenting a child during their middle and high school years can present unique challenges in normal times. Throw in a global pandemic, social justice reckoning, climate change (insert your kiddo’s stressor) and it certainly doesn’t get any easier. If you are the parent of a tween or [...]
Trusting the Therapy Process
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling Therapy is an involved process.  The first step being, entering into a therapeutic relationship where you feel seen and heard, as well as open to looking at yourself and life in a deeper way.  Some personal challenges are going to take longer to sift through. Some issues, after being addressed, may [...]
Thoughts on Nedra Tawaab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace
You need it. The first time I heard about this book was on Good Morning America. I go through phases where I like to have the morning news on in the background as I drink my coffee and begin working through yesterday’s documentation. This day, Nedra appeared for a few short minutes to speak on [...]
A Message to Men in Need
“To progress again, man must remake himself. And he cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. In order to uncover his true visage, he must shatter his own substance with heavy blows of his hammer.” ~Alexis Carrel, Man, The Unknown Look the reality is; though most of us [...]
Helping Kids with Deep Breathing
Children regularly have big emotions, and it can be more difficult for them to calm down than it is for adults. Sometimes even when we tell kids to take a deep breath they start hyperventilating, coughing, or choking. They may need a little extra help. First we want to educate children on why deep breathing [...]
How Loneliness Impacts The Workplace
Technology allows us to speak with others across the country and around the world without having to leave the office. While these modern-day opportunities may be convenient, they can actually be contributing to loneliness. As human beings, we all have an innate need to be connected to others, to belong. Loneliness pulls us away from [...]
The Holidays as an Opportunity to Grow
By Jennifer Drum, Resident in Counseling This time of year is as emotionally colorful as the lights we see in store windows.  Holidays, like other yearly marked events, offer us an opportunity to look inside our hearts to see where we have arrived as of now.  We may find ourselves not just reflecting on ourselves but also [...]
Fears About the Future and Anticipatory Anxiety
Anticipatory anxiety is the worry that creeps in when there are uncertainties about the future. We often become focused on the things we can’t predict or even make sense of. In that space, our minds begin to entertain the negative possibilities and “what ifs”. This type of anxiety can be seen in our everyday lives [...]
5 Questions To Ask Your Therapist
Going to therapy can be very beneficial. It is a place where you can learn more about yourself; understand the symptoms of mental health you are experiencing; receive advice and support to help achieve your goals, and work on forming more meaningful relationships. It is a place for someone who needs someone to listen or [...]
The Value of Exploring Our Experiences Using More Curiosity and Less Judgment
Shifting a judgmental mindset. An essential component in my approach to therapy involves assisting clients to see things clearly, rather than in a biased, judgmental way. Our judging minds typically conceal a wider, more realistic picture of our life experiences, ourselves, and of others. This skewed inaccurate view often results in our emotional suffering in [...]
Spoiler Alert: Comparative Suffering Helps No One
Comparison is the key part of comparative suffering. We try to rank suffering and privilege. Who has more? Who has it better or worse than me? What are they doing that I am not? In an attempt to create a hierarchy of feeling, we are actually impeding empathy and compassion. Comparative suffering can work in two insidious [...]
Common Holiday Relapse Triggers
As we approach the holiday season, there is a shift in the world as we enter what is typically considered a wonderful and joyous time of the year. Unfortunately, amidst all this joy and merriment there can also be increased stress. This stress can stem from the financial burden of giving gifts, entertaining company, or [...]
Tips for New Moms with Anxiety and OCD
Have you recently had a baby and are struggling with new mom anxiety? You are not alone. 85% of new moms develop some form of sadness and anxiety during the postpartum period. A common anxiety-related mental-health condition that can develop is hypochondria and OCD. Hypochondria is atypical levels of anxiety regarding one’s health or the [...]
Understanding HALT – How to Engage in Positive Behaviors
When we are aware of our mental, emotional, and physical states this can lead to us engaging in positive behaviors rather than impulsive behaviors. If we HALT and assess our needs then we are better able to address behaviors before they lead to relapse, whether that is returning to substance use or other behaviors we [...]
Thoughts on Empathy
Recently a friend who was in the process of moving was telling me how stressful it was for her. This led me to reflect on my own stressful experiences with moving. Looking back on how I responded to her, I realize that I became so caught up in my own thoughts that I did not [...]
The Myth About Mindfulness
Mindfulness... it doesn't work. This is a common concern I hear from clients, and it usually includes a recent story about how breathing didn't help calm them down when they were in the midst of a panic attack. Of course it didn't work. Mindfulness is an incredible tool, but it's not the only useful coping [...]
8 Ways to Support College Students at Midterms
If you are a parent who helped your student settle into their college dorm room this past August, these last few months you’ve likely experienced your home to be slightly quieter, your laundry a bit lighter, and family meals somewhat smaller. 8-10 weeks ago, college students returned to campus, filling dorms, classrooms, and dining halls, bringing [...]
Days are Getting Shorter Again: Tips to Circumvent Seasonal Pattern Depression
While fall brings pumpkin patches, apple picking, gorgeous foliage, and cooler weather… it also brings shorter days. The mornings are darker, and the sun starts to set earlier and earlier. While I personally am a big fan of the spooky season and am grateful the humidity and bugs are disappearing, I can also acknowledge that [...]
Figuring Out Rest
How do you like to rest? Okay, I know that might feel like a silly question to some (I don’t know Jack, on my side, with a pillow between my legs?), but I want you to think a little bit deeper than just your preferred sleeping positions. I am talking about how you fill your [...]
There is No Such Thing as Happiness (As We Commonly Know it)
“There is no such thing as happiness. Life bends joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, in such a way that no one may isolate them.” ~ Jean Toomer, Cane What is happiness and what does it really mean to find happiness? Is it even possible? I have always found it interesting both in my personal and [...]
Therapy: A Last Resort?
When thinking about going to therapy, we often feel like it’s a last-resort option. After we have tried to figure things out for ourselves, talked with family or friends, or even tried Google or YouTube, it’s only THEN that we think about reaching out to a professional. Only if the problems we are facing seem [...]
Responses to Trauma: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
You’ve likely heard of fight, flight, or freeze as responses to a threat. The fourth option, fawn, is less commonly taught. Also known as The Four Fs of trauma, these are automatic coping mechanisms for actual and/or perceived experiences of an activating, stressful, or traumatic event. Let’s break these terms down even further. Fight If [...]
Misconceptions About Therapy
It is not uncommon to have some people’s first appointments with me go a little like this: “I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t think I really need therapy but my (mom, dad, sibling, friend) suggested it so I figured, why not?” When I ask them why they think they do not need [...]
How to Get Over Fear
We all experience fear. Whether it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being alone, fear of not being perfect or even being fearful of our emotions, fear can really get the best of us and make us feel alone, small, and dampen our ability to share our unique gifts with others. But, [...]
Family Dynamics in Addiction
Addiction does not only affect the person within their addiction it also affects the entire family. In a family, each member has a specific role for the family to function and maintain stability. When there is one person or multiple people in a family who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the family roles [...]
How to be Mindful (Part 1)
Mindfulness practice can help us increase our ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress and manage anxiety and depression. It can help us to focus our attention and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. 10 Mindfulness Exercises Here are 10 mindfulness exercises to do throughout the day to guide you along the path to find [...]
Progress in Therapy: From Stagnation to Mobility
Progress with therapy looks different for everyone. It may look like a reduction in panic attacks and anxiety levels, light after never-ending darkness linked to tragedy and grief, a respite from the clutches of depression, or learning the self-advocacy and communication skills that create peaceful resolutions following years of conflict with a loved one. Progress [...]
Tips for Social Anxiety
Living in a digital world definitely has its pros and cons. Studies show people prefer texting to calling these days and people are leaning more towards online dating than going out to meet people. Many of us have been working from our homes and now are having to return to the office. Social anxiety has [...]
Reasons Your Child May Need To See A Therapist
As a parent, you want the best for your child. If your child breaks his/her leg, you go to the hospital right away. But if your child is expressing anxiety or seems depressed, many parents aren’t sure what to do. Children go through difficult periods where they need help, support or someone to listen, just [...]
Weeds in a Neighbor’s Yard
There is an invasive weed in the neighbor’s yard, and I wanted to say something about it. I even thought of going over there and offering to help pull the weeds but was reminded that it was not for me to pull the weeds in the neighbor’s yard. I will let them continue to work [...]
Focus on The Chips, Not The Air – Shifting Your Mindset
We have all been there, in a line at the grocery store or sandwich shop with a tasty bag of chips in our hand. Maybe sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, barbecue, or even just a classic kettle-cooked! Imagine your taste buds starting to tingle as you anticipate being able to open up that [...]
Reasons to See a Therapist
It’s 2021 and “because you want to” or “because we are still dealing with a global pandemic” should be reason enough. There are all kinds of reasons to seek out help from an expert. Counselors and social workers have gone through several years of schooling, including a master’s program, as well as rigorous training for [...]
A Brief Introduction to Attachment
Let’s face it, humans need to be in close connection with others. We all possess a basic need to form close bonds throughout our lives. This need is so embedded in our biology. We are equipped with a system to manage our relationships with caregivers, partners, and children. This is known as our attachment system. [...]
Three Ways to Improve your Mood
You’re doing the therapy thing but still feel some lingering depressive symptoms. Or perhaps, you just can’t seem to fit therapy into your calendar or budget but want to kick the familiar pings of overwhelm and exhaustion that are surfacing again. Whatever the reasons, if you are feeling a bit more run down and want [...]
If You are Searching for Happiness Read This
At the end of every intake, I ask clients what their goals for therapy are. Many of them give an answer indicative of their lifelong quest for happiness. I cannot count the number of times I have heard “to be happier” as a response to that question. If happiness is your ultimate goal, much like [...]
What Changes After Trauma
While not everyone has experienced a life-altering traumatic experience that would be defined as a “big T” trauma, almost all of us can look back throughout our lives and point to instances of how the “little t” traumas, the everyday distressing events or stressors, have affected us and shaped how we are currently interacting with [...]
How to Deal with Transition
With summer in full swing and the “hopeful” end to a global pandemic on the horizon, we are experiencing transitions of all kinds. Spending more time out, moving, starting a new job, entering higher education, engagements, weddings, having a baby, becoming an empty nester… All of these transitions can be exciting, scary, sad, and any [...]
A Different Perspective on Fear
Fear is very pertinent to most people and many of my clients, especially in this day and age. Fear is a great cause of suffering. It stops us from being healthy, prevents us from being successful, keeps us from developing relationships that are helpful, and stops us from being at peace. But at the same [...]
Tips to Prevent Relapse
Identifying External and Internal Triggers Related to Addiction In early recovery or sobriety, it is important to identify external and internal triggers that may lead to relapse. Relapse is a return to prior behaviors after a period of remission. For example, a relapse is when a person returns to alcohol use after a period without alcohol use. Relapse and the Recovery [...]
Connecting On A Bridge
When you’re crossing a bridge, it is very difficult to avoid coming into contact with others. I found myself on a trail recently where I had to cross a bridge and thought about turning around when I encountered a group. There was worry about my dog who hasn’t been around other dogs in a long [...]
Spiral Grounding Technique
The Spiral Technique is really great for when a disturbing thought or memory seems to keep coming up for you in daily life. It is a technique that helps to take the focus off of the disturbance and the sensations that come up in your body when you think of this event. Here is how [...]
What To Do If Therapy Stalls
You did it. In the sea of various credentials and types of therapy, you found a therapist that you can trust. Everything was great at first. And then…you hit a plateau. Month after month, you just don’t feel like you are making progress. It can be frustrating to feel like you are putting so much [...]
Starting Therapy—A Profound Act of Self-Care
Therapy is not just for dealing with a crisis. It can be beneficial for anyone dealing with mental health challenges, experiencing high levels of stress or who simply wants to gain more knowledge and awareness. Therapy can be a great place to learn and practice new skills as people take on changes and stressors associated [...]
What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?
When you think of self-care, I’m sure a few different things come to mind. Relaxing, doing yoga, getting a massage, putting on your favorite mud mask until your face is so tight you can’t smile…. Yes, all these things are great. But are they really the basis of what grounds you and makes you feel [...]
Are you a Maximizer or a Satisficer?
There are all kinds of schools of thought, theories of psychology, and personality quizzes boasting to understand us. One you may not have heard of, however, is Herbert A. Simon’s position on decision-making. He received the Nobel Prize in 1978 and is best known for his work as an economist and cognitive psychologist. Earlier in [...]
Using a Client’s Passion or Interest as a Therapeutic Tool
Often as therapists, we can find our clients, and ourselves, for that matter, stuck where we are both connected but some emotion or behavior or techniques are bearing no “fruit”. I often find a change in perspective at what my clients are trying to work through is especially useful. Often this is accomplished by “thinking [...]
Substance Use, Abuse, or Addiction: What’s the difference?
In the world of substance use treatment, there are various terms that can become confusing when one begins treatment or are new on their journey of recovery. One area of confusion is understanding the difference between substance use, abuse, and addiction. When a person can define and fully understand what they are experiencing, it can help them in the process of healing [...]
Emotion Granularity: What Is It and Why It Matters
If you look up the definition of granular, it leaves a lot to be desired. You will find statements like: “composed of grains, containing granules, or resembling small particles.” Maybe imagery will be more helpful here - think about sand or sugar for instance. Then think about what those grains look like under a microscope. [...]
Art-Making and Process
The process of art-making can be multilayered. I am an encaustic artist, which uses wax in the painting process. Painting with wax has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Attending my first encaustic workshop was very stressful for me. There was a lot of self-doubt about my ability to learn this new painting [...]
Three Relationship Myths That Leave Us Unhappy
What is a happy relationship? The answer is simple, right? Two people meet, share interests, fall in love, and live happily ever after. While this relationship template works well for romantic comedies (who doesn’t love a good RomCom?), it rarely leads to a life of bliss with our partner. It is important to consider our [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 2
In the second part of this post, we are going to review the target symptoms of low motivation and then address what actions you can take in order to combat them. It may be difficult at first to get the hang of these methods, however with practice and consistency you will be up and going [...]
“Pretzel Breathing Technique” for Children
Sometimes we tend to tell our children to calm down without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Today’s technique I want to share with you all is a good exercise for kids to experience calmness and reduce anxiety. This technique, called the “Pretzel Breathing Technique,” is a quick [...]
Do I Own My Story or Does My Story Own Me?
When it comes to trauma, we as counselors must assess the trauma narrative continuum, which is the degree to which our clients “own” their stories and to what degree the stories “own” our clients. I learned this concept from a one-time supervisor and now mentor and friend. I found it immediately relatable in my own [...]
The 8 Phases of EMDR
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is an incredibly useful technique that was originally developed for the treatment of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Since its inception, research has been done that has shown EMDR to be an effective treatment option for multiple mental health issues such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and more! As EMDR [...]
Connecting with Your Child
When Emotionally Exhausted Last month marked the one-year anniversary of COVID-related social distancing policies, new schedules, new ways of being in the world, and an abrupt goodbye to pre-pandemic life. There has been an upsurge in hitting the “pandemic wall”—our brains are full and tired and our kids are feeling the weight of boredom. New [...]
Recognizing Transference
Have you ever had an experience where someone reminds you of a person you have known before and you view and interact with them as you did with that person from your past? If so, you may be experiencing transference. Transference Can Be Positive or Negative Transference occurs when a person directs feelings and experiences [...]
Connecting to Recovery Resources
During the Covid-19 Pandemic Prior to the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, 12 Step Meetings, whether the meeting is Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and so on, were usually fairly easy to find. One could find a list of meetings in their area by the day of the week and time on AA.org or NA.org. A person [...]
What Comes First, Motivation or Action? Part 1
I see many clients who battle with a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation can range from struggling to keep up with daily chores, to feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning. If you are feeling unmotivated to engage in activities you used to enjoy, this can be concerning to some people. Feeling [...]
The Impact of Anxiety and Fear
“Life cannot be lived nor can death be faced without anxiety. Anxiety is a guide as well as an enemy and can point the way to authentic existence. The task of the therapist is to reduce anxiety to comfortable levels and then to use this existing anxiety to increase a patient's awareness and vitality.” ~Irvin [...]
Commonalties in The Therapeutic Process and The Practice of Aikido
A Personal Experience As both Aikido instructor and practitioner, I am often amazed at the commonalities between the practice of Aikido, and the therapeutic process. The objective in Aikido is to join one’s personal ki (energy) with universal ki to achieve harmony (ai). Aikido stresses working with a partner, rather than wrestling or fighting against [...]
How The Past Changes Present Perception and EMDR Therapy
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a therapeutic technique geared towards the treatment of trauma or disturbing events. The technique works to target specific events that are remembered as distressing and take the emotional response to these events out of the memory. Doing so can often help to stop triggering experiences, flashbacks, and [...]
Cultivating Understanding
Like any other useful human trait, understanding must be intentionally cultivated through practice.  Understanding does not necessarily mean agreeing with someone. We can have different values than others and respect their point of view. Like any other mindful practice, it must be based on compassion. Compassion for ourselves as well as compassion for others.  Compassion is what will allow us to [...]
Three Things to Do for a Life Well Lived
Last year gave all of us the opportunity to tune into what is most important to us as we have wrestled with what it means to navigate our new circumstances and find joy. But what exactly brings us joy? What exactly is a life well-lived, and how can we set ourselves up to be happier [...]
Recovering Perfectionist? Me Too.
I am Type A. I’m an Enneagram 1. I love my planner, fresh sheets, organized spaces, and when I say I have a list for everything… I mean everything. Scheduling and de-cluttering brings me delight. I have been described as rigid, an overachiever, and some other not-so-kind things. And it has taken me a long time to [...]
What is Unconditional Love, Really?
Years ago, I bought my best friend a very expensive gift, despite things being tight financially for me. I did this because I adored this friend. She truly wanted this gift. It meant a lot to her and I wanted more than anything to make her happy. I wanted her to know how important she [...]
Managing the Post Holiday Blues
We’ve all been there…the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over and the post-holiday blues can tend to set in. All the gifts have been opened, friends and family have left town and we must settle back into our daily routines. The cold and dark months of January and February can cause us to [...]
Key to Success in Setting Intentions
I believe the key to success in setting intentions in any area, at any point in our lives, is consistency. Certainly, adjustments in our process may be necessary. Other than small rudder steers from time to time, we need to practice consistency in any endeavor to achieve success. The best way I have heard this [...]
What is Post-Traumatic Growth?
Trauma can be life-changing, leading to a distorted worldview, a sense of betrayal, and an inability to feel safe. Trauma plays a role in the development of mental disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). On the other hand, post-traumatic growth (PTG) indicates the experience of finding new meaning. It can also create a deeper sense [...]
Three Myths About Emotions
Emotions are a central piece of the human experience because they guide many decisions in our lives and many of our reactions to the world around us. But what exactly are emotions? Throughout the decades several thought leaders have attempted to answer this question. Modern neuroscientific advances have deepened our understanding of how the brain [...]
What Is Your Window of Tolerance?
Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia You are gearing up for a test at school, a performance review, a presentation at work, or a few days home with your kids for a long weekend. These stressful events are often times manageable for us on a day-to-day basis. These kinds of stress-inducing events [...]
Mental Health Check-in: How are YOU, really?
Mental Health Check: An Open Letter from HMT Founder & Therapist, Alycia Burant Dear Healthy Minds Family, I hope as you read this, you are in good health. I recognize your hearts and minds may continue to be filled with fear, worry, and sadness. To be honest, I am still digesting and processing the events [...]
Understanding Stress and Anxiety
Contrary to Popular Belief, Stress and Anxiety are Not the Enemies By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor More often than not, stress and anxiety are viewed as dreadful things that we need to eliminate completely. Many of us think something along the lines of “if I had it all together, I wouldn’t feel so stressed [...]
General Observations on The Link Between Clients Managing Their Trauma Background and Navigating a COVID-19 World.
By Bradd Buckingham, Resident in Counseling Since the beginning of COVID-19, I have professionally observed as a counseling intern working in a community mental health clinic, currently as a resident in counseling as well as personally with friends and family, a shift or slide backward in the management of their trauma symptomology and the meaningful [...]
What does Trauma mean?
By Jack Fox, M.A. Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia In my work with clients, I often notice a hesitancy to admit or acknowledge that events in their lives have been traumatic. Due to the news or social media, we are trained or accustomed to think of trauma only as being big events that capture [...]
Depression During A Pandemic: Coping Skills To Combat The Blues
By Grace Kim, Resident in Counseling in Northern Virginia Depression saps a person’s energy to do just about anything. As a result, people tend to become less active, which causes the depression to worsen. This has been the case for many of us during the COVID-19 pandemic. Some behavioral activation may be beneficial to help stop [...]
Finding Your Snowflake in this 2020 Blizzard: A Quick Guide to Holiday Grief and Loss
By Diane Bonilla, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Northern Virginia The holiday season is upon us and life is marching forward, but for some, your minds and your hearts are standing still, grieving the death of a loved one amidst what feels like an incoming storm. Even if the loss is from the past, holiday time [...]
Key Ingredients for Emotional Connectedness in a Relationship
Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert on couple’s emotional connectedness, created the acronym A.R.E. to describe three ingredients that are needed to create healthy, emotionally satisfying relationships. Relationships that embodied accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement tend to have the highest relationship satisfaction and are characterized by high levels of trust and commitment.  What exactly is A.R.E.? “A” [...]
What if I feel worse after a therapy session and not better?
By Jasmine Payne, Licensed Professional Counselor Therapy is hard work. It is rewarding but sometimes it can be overwhelming, sometimes it is frustrating, and sometimes it is sad. The quote “it gets worse before it gets better” seems applicable here. Re-training your brain, healing trauma, and unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms are not simple tasks. And while [...]